I think you are very wise.
When you have your own home, where you can paint the walls and hang a picture without permission, THAT is when you'll be ready for ANYTHING.
No matter what you decide, no one has a right to judge you. Only the Big Guy upstairs. And He sees what's in your heart.
Wow.
So sorry you are going through this.
Wow....
OK, after thinking about it.
What does your mom think about all this?
Are you in the country, or city?
Can you get counseling? Because you need it.
And does your soon-to-be-ex understand that he's really hurt the baby as well as you...