Everyone goes through a learning curve. You can't beat yourself up over it. The first I did were mercy killings, by axe. I did not get the head off with one swoop, and it was terrifying. I mean.. I just about died.. I also tried breaking their necks (a chick that was stepped on and was slowly dying) and it also did not go quickly and I cried for a few days after that.
With these ones, I had 8 boys I needed to get processed. I know if I sent them away, that would only cause more stress on them. I was the one that hatched them. I was the one that raised them. I was the one that fed them, took care of them. I was going to be the one that did it. It was for THEM and not for me that I was the one who did the butchering. They lived wonderful free ranged lives up until the end, and were fed only the best, and were happy (I know it's a humanizing term, but they did seem genuinely happy!)
So what I did was wake up early and got my first rooster, who was terribly mean. I brought him out to the killing cone and I hit this first one's trachea. He bled through his eyes and nose and choked on his blood while dying. Not good. I was very upset after that one, but he died quicker than the axe and the neck breaking, but it was very hard to watch.
The second one.. I didn't quite get his jugular, but I did not hit his trachea. Within 5 second I realized he wasn't bleeding much at all, and finally got his jugular. (note that I tried with rooster in cone, head facing me centre, and cutting on the right side of his neck for the first two, and after that on the left side). So after the second one was finished, the third and all the rest after that were perfect. One even went into convulsions within 5 seconds. None of them seemed to be in any kind of pain. The worst part for them was being handled. We held them upside down, and this calmed them. I could have waken up earlier when they were still on the roost, but we had blew a fuse at the barn when we started to get our water ready for scalding.
So make sure everything is ready prior to the time you start. Try to do it as early or as late as possible when they are already in a daze from sleepiness.
I was highly against the killing cone and cutting the jugular before I saw how much room for error the axe and block was. Especially when you have terrible hand eye coordination.
