~•~The Crazy Pullets of BYC!~•~

[duckluv]

Quote:
Shall I continue?

What about this?


"The stars sparkled upon the black carpet and danced in Tylisia's large, dark eyes. She screeched silently into the night and leaped into the air, flapping her outstretched wings and gaining speed.
Once she had flown high enough above the trees, she stopped flapping and a gust of wind caught under her wings. She glided gracefully on the cool night air, silent and nearly invisible to everyone around her."

NOOOOOOOOO! THE BARN OWL OF DOOM!

 

[77horses]

Quote:
What about this?


"The stars sparkled upon the black carpet and danced in Tylisia's large, dark eyes. She screeched silently into the night and leaped into the air, flapping her outstretched wings and gaining speed.
Once she had flown high enough above the trees, she stopped flapping and a gust of wind caught under her wings. She glided gracefully on the cool night air, silent and nearly invisible to everyone around her."

NOOOOOOOOO! THE BARN OWL OF DOOM!

 

[duckluv]

Quote:
NOOOOOOOOO! THE BARN OWL OF DOOM!

What?

 

[77horses]

Quote:
"With all the strength and grace of a cedar in the wind, the swan beat her majestic wings of pearl upon the water and lifted herself toward the heavens. The glorious sun struck her feathers with golden light, gilding their tips to a delicate glowing quality. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera."

*Gag*

-_-
I see nothing wrong with that. I mean I guess there are a few words that don't need to be in there, and they kind of overkill it, but it sounds like a very beautiful, descriptive passage to me. Take out a few of the superfluous words, and it would be great, in my opinion.

And *ahem*, I tend to write these "long, flowery descriptions" that you speak of. Maybe not all that "flowery", but I do write long, descriptive things...Ask anyone who goes on the owl roleplay thread.

 

[77horses]

Quote:

What?

What do you mean by "the barn owl of doom!"?

 

[duckluv]

Quote:
What?

What do you mean by "the barn owl of doom!"?

I had eaten sugary cake just before I posted that.

 

[eenie114]

I go to the Space Needle, and while I'm gone y'all start a writing group?

 

[canada-goose]

Quote:
I was showing Horsey what you meant.

 

[eenie114]

Quote:
I was showing Horsey what you meant.

What I meant about long flowery descriptions?

I got to go sightseeing around Seattle today! I have the coolest picture for you all!

 

[77horses]

Kooshie:
Quote:
Shall I continue?

What about this?


"The stars sparkled upon the black carpet and danced in Tylisia's large, dark eyes. She screeched silently into the night and leaped into the air, flapping her outstretched wings and gaining speed.
Once she had flown high enough above the trees, she stopped flapping and a gust of wind caught under her wings. She glided gracefully on the cool night air, silent and nearly invisible to everyone around her."

^^^would you consider this passage to be a "long, flowery descriptive" passage, like you said?