➡I accidentally bought Balut eggs: 2 live ducks! Now a Chat Thread!

[Conan]

The rope one is most superb.

Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was intense! (IN TENTS, say it slowly.)

They had to cancel the trick pony show. It was lame.

See??? This one got a snorting laugh out of me! The lame jokes are the best!

 

[RUNuts]

Why do firemen wear red suspenders?

To hold their pants up!

Then some of my personal favorites.

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
Your nose is touching the ceiling.

Why did the elephant paint her toenails red?
So she could hide in a cherry tree.

Why did the elephant wear red shoes?
To hide in an apple tree.

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry or apple tree? See, it worked!

 

[RUNuts]

This joke works real well on a 6 year old.

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open the door, take out the milk and put the elephant in. Then close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
When they say, "Open the door, take out the milk and put the giraffe in."
You say, "nope". The giraffe won't fit, there is an elephant in there. You have to take the elephant out first.


I crack me up!

 

[Ursuline Chick]

With that in mind, I think it is time for me to go to bed. Good night all, it's been fun.

 

[R2elk]

@KikisGirls

Just think how much trouble you could get into with this.

Holds 1000 quail eggs

 

[Conan]

For our dog lovers:

 

[littleprairieheartsfarm]

A drunk man stumbles into a tavern and notices a sign on the bar that reads "Complete our challenges, and win free drinks for life!" He calls the Bartender over, and asks him what he has to do.

"Well first of all, you have to down a bottle of our strongest whiskey, and not puke. Second, there is a vicious dog out the back with a really bad toothache, and you have to pull the rotten tooth. Finally, there is a horny old lady upstairs that needs to be serviced like a proper woman. Are you're up to the challenges?"

The man nods, and the Bartender passes the man the bottle of whiskey. He downs it like a champ, and then stumbles over to the back door. He opens the door and immediately the vicious dog starts snarling and barking. The man stumbles outside, closing the door behind him.

The tavern-goers gather around the door, as the barking turns to whining, and then silence.

Several minutes pass and suddenly the man slams open the door, zipping up his pants. He looks to the Bartender and says, "Alright friend, now where is this old lady with a toothache?!"

Oh no

 

[casportpony]

I love all of the jokes!

 

[casportpony]

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.

When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"

So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.

Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same.

The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, "Stop, Henry, you'll kill yourself." But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry.

The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you big buddy." "Shhhhh," Henry whispered, "The buzzard is getting closer."

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/hornyroosterjokes.html

 

[Tesumph]

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.

When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"

So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.

Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same.

The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, "Stop, Henry, you'll kill yourself." But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry.

The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you big buddy." "Shhhhh," Henry whispered, "The buzzard is getting closer."

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/hornyroosterjokes.html

HAHAHA! That is a good one