➡I accidentally bought Balut eggs: 2 live ducks! Now a Chat Thread!

[Ursuline Chick]

My Chameleon won't change his colors, so I took him to the vet.

Vet told me he has a reptile dysfunction.

 

[Kiki]

View attachment 1482653
No fake friends here!

 

[Glitterchicks]

Read them all but #13 first.
Click there ^


"adult jokes above"

I woke up 175 posts behind, but THIS ^^^ made my morning.

 

[Glitterchicks]

Found it and voted!

 

[Kiki]

Can’t. Pearls before swine and all that. No point in arguing with folks like these. They clearly cannot recognize superior programming

 

[Glitterchicks]

A drunk man stumbles into a tavern and notices a sign on the bar that reads "Complete our challenges, and win free drinks for life!" He calls the Bartender over, and asks him what he has to do.

"Well first of all, you have to down a bottle of our strongest whiskey, and not puke. Second, there is a vicious dog out the back with a really bad toothache, and you have to pull the rotten tooth. Finally, there is a horny old lady upstairs that needs to be serviced like a proper woman. Are you're up to the challenges?"

The man nods, and the Bartender passes the man the bottle of whiskey. He downs it like a champ, and then stumbles over to the back door. He opens the door and immediately the vicious dog starts snarling and barking. The man stumbles outside, closing the door behind him.

The tavern-goers gather around the door, as the barking turns to whining, and then silence.

Several minutes pass and suddenly the man slams open the door, zipping up his pants. He looks to the Bartender and says, "Alright friend, now where is this old lady with a toothache?!"

It's supposed to run like this.

"What's small, brown, hairy, one-eyed, and has eleven teeth?"
"I don't know, what?"
"I don't know either, but it's sitting on your shoulder."

You know? Implying there's something creepy sitting on your shoulder? Talk about spoiling a joke!

View attachment 1482724

I am dead

 

[Conan]

Hey Conan, I don’t suppose you ever finished that drawing? It keeps popping into my head haha.

Look, Tessie.... May I call you Tessie? It's sitting on the kitchen table ominously reminding me of its unfinished status.
I'm sure that yours it completely finished, isn't it?

 

[Kiki]

Look, Tessie.... May I call you Tessie? It's sitting on the kitchen table ominously reminding me of its unfinished status.
I'm sure that yours it completely finished, isn't it?

I call her Tessie in my head too.
Another family dog name.

 

[Conan]

I admit I haven’t read the books, but I’m not the kind of person to get up in arms over distorted film adaptions anyway. They really do like boobies over at HBO though, huh?

I see. I have an arsenal to combat all the crappy movies/shows adaptations made from books that I love! Different weapons for various offenses. I try to make them as fitting as possible.

 

[casportpony]

My Chameleon won't change his colors, so I took him to the vet.

Vet told me he has a reptile dysfunction.