35. some things edited for family friendly viewing:
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
>>> After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
>>> accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was
>>> like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get
>>> out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she
>>> loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from
>>> her local
Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
>>>
>>> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
>>> commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may
>>> be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against
>>> Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video
>>> surveillance cameras.
>>>
>>> 1.
>>>
>>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
>>> 5-minute intervals.
>>>
>>> 3.
>>> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
>>> voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
>>>
>>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M;'s on layaway.
>>>
>>> 6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
>>>
>>> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
>>> other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
>>> blankets from the bedding department.
>>>
>>> 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
>>> began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
>>> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>>>
>>> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
>>> asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>>> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
>>> loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
>>>
>>> 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna
>>> look" by using different sizes of funnels.
>>>
>>> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
>>> through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
>>> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
>>> he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
>>>
>>> And last, but not least ....
>>>
>>> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
>>> awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
>>>
>>> Regards,
>>>
Walmart
