- May 8, 2008
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Quote:
You are welcome Lady Hawk. One more piece of advice that I wish I had done better is to keep a close eye on the friends she makes. Meet them, have them over and see if your gut says "good friend" or not.
Talk with them and get a feel for what they stand for, how they speak to their parents (big clue) and their hobbies.
Her friends will be a huge influence in the coming years. Good friends help teens get through these tough years alot easier and a "bad friend" can really lead her down paths that she wouldn't normally go to.
If push comes to shove and your instincts tell you not to let her hang out with a certain kid or group-- stick with it. Moms usually know. You may not be able to control who she is with at school but you can after school.
She is a good girl and you are good parents.
I agree & following your instincts with which friends to allow HUGE! My son once had a friend & I'd met the parents & they seemed like great people, both working & running a house with (a LOT of) kids you know like a regular family with meals together etc. Then our sons started high school & things started to change & I couldn't put my finger on it but it's like I could see the mom changing before my eyes. Their house had become the teen hangout & I'd thought it was because the mom had gone back to work & the kids were at home on their own after school, then I started to realize it didn't even matter when she was around! My son was pretty PO'd at me when I told him he was no longer able to go there..... I told him his friend was welcome at our house if he wanted to have him here (the kid hadn't done anything for me to obsolve the friendship) but that I didn't like that it looked like a party at their house like every night. This was a HUGE to do for my son & he really thought I was anything but "mom2Cool" but I stuck to it anyway. The father divorced the mom not long after their son graduated highschool & the dad moved to Florida leaving the kids all with mom & today that mother is a heroin addict! My sons friend still lives at home with mom with a part time job & no direction in life. I imagine he's on drugs too but I don't think he's got a heroin addiction. Anyway now my son is a police officer in town & I guess he sees all the issues of drugs & parties where this mother still lives in town etc & the other day he was telling someone in front of me "that family is a mess & my mother saw them turning into it & saved me from the wake of it all". Watch who your kids are friends with they will get pulled down in the wake of other families & kids spiraling out of control.
You are welcome Lady Hawk. One more piece of advice that I wish I had done better is to keep a close eye on the friends she makes. Meet them, have them over and see if your gut says "good friend" or not.
Talk with them and get a feel for what they stand for, how they speak to their parents (big clue) and their hobbies.
Her friends will be a huge influence in the coming years. Good friends help teens get through these tough years alot easier and a "bad friend" can really lead her down paths that she wouldn't normally go to.
If push comes to shove and your instincts tell you not to let her hang out with a certain kid or group-- stick with it. Moms usually know. You may not be able to control who she is with at school but you can after school.
She is a good girl and you are good parents.
I agree & following your instincts with which friends to allow HUGE! My son once had a friend & I'd met the parents & they seemed like great people, both working & running a house with (a LOT of) kids you know like a regular family with meals together etc. Then our sons started high school & things started to change & I couldn't put my finger on it but it's like I could see the mom changing before my eyes. Their house had become the teen hangout & I'd thought it was because the mom had gone back to work & the kids were at home on their own after school, then I started to realize it didn't even matter when she was around! My son was pretty PO'd at me when I told him he was no longer able to go there..... I told him his friend was welcome at our house if he wanted to have him here (the kid hadn't done anything for me to obsolve the friendship) but that I didn't like that it looked like a party at their house like every night. This was a HUGE to do for my son & he really thought I was anything but "mom2Cool" but I stuck to it anyway. The father divorced the mom not long after their son graduated highschool & the dad moved to Florida leaving the kids all with mom & today that mother is a heroin addict! My sons friend still lives at home with mom with a part time job & no direction in life. I imagine he's on drugs too but I don't think he's got a heroin addiction. Anyway now my son is a police officer in town & I guess he sees all the issues of drugs & parties where this mother still lives in town etc & the other day he was telling someone in front of me "that family is a mess & my mother saw them turning into it & saved me from the wake of it all". Watch who your kids are friends with they will get pulled down in the wake of other families & kids spiraling out of control.
