3rd bday is coming and I have issues... need help

[SophieLain127]

I've tried to include her as much as possible but she thinks it is a stupid idea and we shouldn't do it because we will be to far away. She think we are two far away even though we are only 5 or 6 miles away right now. She has never let me do my own thing even when growing u I wanted to go away to college she insisted I stay here so I was miserable and ended up dropping out. I wanted to move to Portland OR she guilted me into staying in OH. So this is just another way of trying to burden us down.

I gave her a list of toys that Soph would love to have and she says that they are too plain and don't do anything so how can they be fun? I say because she can use her imagination. We started when we found out we were going to have her that there was no battery rule. Not toys that take batteries. That was broke quickly so I insisted that all battery operated toys stay at her house.

I guess I will have to put my foot down and keep it that way if she doesn't like it then oh well. Thanks everyone

 

[simplyscrambled]

Sorry, it's hard for a lot of us to get summer off the mind even though you posted the birthdate in the o-post! And I'm from CA...

Keep your frustration (anger) because of all the park suggestions and use it to be assertive with your mom! Put that foot down HARD!!

 

[SophieLain127]

I'm going to and I'm going to pull my dad aside and tell him he will have to help me.

She acts like we are not going to have <I>Any</I> toys for her. We are planning on three or four medium sized (like the ones you use for xmas stuff, average size) full of toys to change every few weeks to keep it "fresh"

I suggested lots of stuff
-Thomas Train tracks and stuff (which she loves)
-Lincoln Logs
-Little People
-Play food
-Baby Doll Accessories ( she has four or six baby dolls already and only plays with 2 so I will only be taking the two)
-Art stuff
-Cars/Trucks/Etc (she loves hotwheels)
-Puzzles
-Treasury Books
-Computer Games
-DVD's
-CD's or Itunes gift card (she has her own section on our ipod
-Clothing
-Board Games
-Basic Building Blocks
-Big Kid bedding (we are doing a cool 70's owl theme)


We are going to either have her own room or a bunk house (that is a section that usually has two bunks but is enclosed in and has a small "door" opening) in the RV
We are going to be removing the bottom bunk and turning it into a play area. with her little tikes play kitchen and her doll furniture. So she will have plenty of play room and also plenty of stuff. I believe I am being resonable in offering her examples of the type of thinks that are acceptable.

I will just put my foot down and I guess grin and smile about it.

 

[NancyDz]

You need to just put your foot down and tell her. "Mom, we are doing this with or without your blessing... you can either support us and help or you can fight it and make it miserable for all of us because we will sell or give away anything that won't work for our trip. Now here's some ideas that would help your grandchild in the future and we could use for the rv. I hope you can help. I'm an adult now and this is what my family is doing , we want you to be a part of it." Something to that effect. To me it sounds like you and her bump heads constantly and both want the other to bend to their will. Maybe ask her to come up with some things that are small or rv friendly on her own. A lot of "head bumping" has less to do with the real issue and more to do with power struggle. Maybe something like a family activity that is somewhere along your trip that your mom and you guys could look forward to.
Your mom could meet you guys and give you all something to look forward to and wouldnt be more stuff? You would of course have to plan to be there! But I'm sure there is some National park or activity that you might have in the works during your trip that your mom could buy the tickets for or something like that? Is this your mom's only grandchild?

I'm going to a friend's child's second birthday... they dont want toys either but its hard to attend a kids birthday and not want to get them something.. a 2 or 3 year old has a hard time with seeing a bunch of toys and understanding that they are giving them to someone else.. that's a lesson that older kids do better with. I think it's a great idea but give people some options to do that and bring something.... even if it's a craft item or edible treat for the child. Maybe make cupcakes and have everyone bring different frostings or toppings and have a decorating party .


Okay just throwing some things out... you have a lot of great suggestions but your replies make it seem like you dont really want help.. just want to rant about it

Which is fine but you might want to change your title LOL


Nancy

 

[Rolsjo]

Good for you! Just stay firm, but sweet. My mom, after years of complaining about what she couldn't do or buy for her grandchildren finally relented. It took a heart to heart conversation where I just told her that she could spend all her time complaining about what we wouldn't let her do or she could take that time and enjoy her grandchildren. So now she has accepted our limits and has a great time with our kids.

I hope your mom will relax and enjoy her granddaughter. It's a special time when they are little.

 

[SophieLain127]

Our family is coming from out of state some several states away that is why a potluck or make your own food thing isn't going to work.

We are going to keep the donations out of the room so they are out of sight out of mind. I know some want to give gifts that is why we have the donations but we don't care if they just show up empty handed. it is about family not stuff. It is a bit of a rant but also I wanted to know how others handle this situation. But the OP does say "Sorry for the rant but I don't know what to do...."

 

[NancyDz]

Sophie,

I was writing that as you posted your options you gave your mom.. so some of my post doesnt apply... Hope you get it worked out. As far as the cupcake thing.. you could make the cupcakes and frosting they could just bring candy and stuff like that.. doesnt have to be perishables....

 

[SophieLain127]

The cupcakes are themed. Chocolate marble cake with brown/green/grayish blue frosting with acorns on them. They are themed to match the party.

 

[MandyH]

Why not do it at the end of Summer when it's still warm outside and you can do an outside party. Just do it in August or September so you have time to plan it, then on her real birthday just take her to Chuck E Cheese. She will think it's great to celebrate twice and you've killed two birds with one stone.

 

[NancyDz]

Okay well it was just an idea of an activity that even the adults could do as you said there was mainly adults so not too many of them are going to get excited about doing a treat bag. Also then people would have something they could bring... kind of like when you do gingerbread houses. An indoor activity for winter that all could participate in. Everyone could eat it or not.


The other idea if you are open to any

is one we did at a shower for a baby. They had plain white onesies and everyone decorated one for the child with fabric paints. It was fun. They could do t-shirts for your daughter and then she could wear them during your travels and you could send pics to the person that made that shirt to them., show them where you are , etc. Kind of connects her with her family while she's gone.

Nancy