5 Year Old Barber

[kareninthesun]

I'm more concerned that she's doing this to her sister, not drawing on a wall or pulling up plants or even poking holes in furniture with the scissors. She's going after her sister, I think because a thrill has been developed: she can do this because what is given to her as a punishment, she may/or may not get caught. She's winning on two fronts, by doing this to sis, she's being passive agressive (not really physically hurting her), and by acting like she is immune to punishment dealt out, she WINS!!! I'm betting that if she's trying to play mind games with you she's a very bright kid. You're gonna have your hands full when she gets older. Does she try to play mind games with teachers? Maybe she needs something very physical to do every day, sports geared towards her age getting her away from her sis and showing her examples of what happens when you work together within ruled structures. Having raised one kiddo with this type of personality, by experience, you are going to have to stay on top of this aspect of her personality until she is ready to move about on her own. But it is important that in however which way yoiu choose, DO NOT show emotion in gearing out what she has to learn in being responsible for. Don't let in. She will find that chink. I ended up taking everything out of my son's room. Gave him choices back slllllllowly, (you can wear this shirt or that shirt). When he was old enough to play Little League baseball, the same rules we put in place applied: this is a priveledge. He was a darned good pitcher, and third year playing, I yanked him out when he started playing homework games. Thought he learned that lesson well until he had his first job. He thought he was getting by with hanging out with friends and saying he was at work. He did this numerous times. Took him off the school baseball team. Hated it, but he had to claim responsiblity for his actions and not blame anyone else. The coach called me, begging, but couldn't do it.

I like the idea of making her sit her stubborn backside on a chair within parents viewing at all times when at home. When she gets tired of it, she'll get freedom. Whenever she breaks a simple, "You're busted. Time to pay up." is all that's needed and puts it back in her court.

I wouldn't use positive re-enforcement with this. It teaches the wrong message, that if naughty kids try to be good, they get goodies, and leaves the good kids with nothing. Another way around this for you would be to take the younger sis for an outting or whatever and state simply that she hasn't cut anyone's hair, that way she'll know that being good for good's sake works instead of changing one's way just to get a priveledge then returning to bad behaviour as the thoughts arise.

btw, my son is grown now, has a carreer which he is fantastic in emergency situations, great teacher. He has a keen awareness of what makes people tick, and stays calm in situations which others fall apart in. I think it's part of the personality, and just needs to be guided by a parent who isn't afraid to invest in vitamins.

 

[watchdogps]

My first thought is why is a 2 yr old out of your sight? Scissor issues or not, 2 yr olds are trouble on legs and leaving them out of sight, even to get the mail, is asking for a hospital trip.

 

[WingingIt]

All scissors need to be locked in the car trunk. I wouldn't let her be alone with her sister for even one second. They'd have to play where I can see them, they'd have to come with me to get the mail, younger one would come in the bathroom with me while older waited right outside the door. If younger DD takes a nap, older one still stays in my sight because I can't trust you when you're where I can't see you. This might be fun for her for a while, but if that's what she's after, it will help. If it's annoying to her after a while, then it's a good incentive to knock off the cutting. I have a seven year old, they WILL tell you they don't know why they do stuff right at first, but if you sit and talk with them and ask questions they will eventually tell you what's going on, sometimes you have to jump from possible reason to reason until they find the links and the words to explain it.

 

[MeatKing]

Quote:
I left my 2 yr old by herself, lots.. Really hows a person to shower, go to the bathroom, even switch over laundry..

As long as your house is safe, doors are locked up high, I think you should easily be able to go for a pee, without bringing them.. Our knives are in a saftey latched drawer, plugs covered... blah, blah, blah.. House is pretty safe..

I guess it depends on your house and how safe it is for youngsters... oh yes and the 2 yr. old.. Some kids are fine to play by themselves for a few min. Other ones will look for trouble the second you leave.. I have girls and really they can play quite for a long time.. Without finding trouble..

Although funny story.. a big bag of flour left with a two year old who likes to help.. Makes for some really funny pics.. I was on phone with mil when this happened. I started laughing and told her what happened.. She laughed saying, "Only I would laugh about that kind've mess" lol

 

[Marcymom3]

She's 5, not 15. I think some of the recommended punishments in this thread are way too harsh for a small child, and one or two, imo, are inhumane and degrading. You need to get a lockbox and lock up any scissors or anything else that could be used to cut the baby's hair or injure anyone. I wish you the best of luck. Kids are something else, aren't they?

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Well said!

 

[watchdogps]

Quote:
I left my 2 yr old by herself, lots.. Really hows a person to shower, go to the bathroom, even switch over laundry..

You take them with you, or put them somewhere secure - playpen, bouncer swing (love those, hang the kid up!). Just like a two legged puppy. I hate when people say "I cant watch them all the time" when they complain their dog chewed something. I reply "thats how babies drown in buckets". Crude, but true.

A 2 yr old has NO concept of the kind of injury they can cause. Even a 4 yr old has some grasp of that.

 

[MeatKing]

Quote:
I left my 2 yr old by herself, lots.. Really hows a person to shower, go to the bathroom, even switch over laundry..

You take them with you, or put them somewhere secure - playpen, bouncer swing (love those, hang the kid up!). Just like a two legged puppy. I hate when people say "I cant watch them all the time" when they complain their dog chewed something. I reply "thats how babies drown in buckets". Crude, but true.

A 2 yr old has NO concept of the kind of injury they can cause. Even a 4 yr old has some grasp of that.

I wrote that I left my two yr old only all the time in a safe area, the way you quoted me, you left that part out?

One would hope, when I safe area.. They would think that includes, no buckets of water hanging around my house... Also I've never seen a two year old in a playpen, bouncer etc. Would think that would be really not safe as they would normally be past the weight requiment, unless you have a industrial one?

edited to add, I suppose you could put you 2 yr. old in a crate, like you would a puppy... When you need to not watch them? "Joking Here" Would never compare my child watching, to puppy watching... Although my dd, does like to nap in the crate... That also makes for funny pics

 

[watchdogps]

Quote:
I didnt leave that out by design, I was only quoting the first line so people knew which post I was referencing. I also think my brain kind of laft that part out. Yes, I suppose if you have REALLY childproofed the house it could be okay, I just cant think of any homes I know of that are two year old safe. Maybe a room or two with baby gates.

Depends on the kid for the weight requirement. I was in a bouncer till I was almost two according to the pics. Of course, maybe my mom didnt heed the tag. Cant ask her, she's dead. Of course, I'm not even sure there WERE weight requirements then.

Quote:
No, children's services frowns on that. I dont think it's far fetched at all to compare child watching to puppy watching, or even rearing. The people I know with the best behaved kids also have the best behaved dogs. I think it's a matter of a person being able to be a good communicator (even with a being that doesnt exactly speak english), consistent and fair. People get all huffy thinking that calls their kids dogs, but it doesnt. Of course those of us who love dogs wouldnt consider it insulting anyway.

 

[kareninthesun]

Quote:
I left my 2 yr old by herself, lots.. Really hows a person to shower, go to the bathroom, even switch over laundry..

You take them with you, or put them somewhere secure - playpen, bouncer swing (love those, hang the kid up!). Just like a two legged puppy. I hate when people say "I cant watch them all the time" when they complain their dog chewed something. I reply "thats how babies drown in buckets". Crude, but true.

A 2 yr old has NO concept of the kind of injury they can cause. Even a 4 yr old has some grasp of that.

having worked as a sales rep and vendor, I'd like to educate here: there are weight/height max's on all the above for safety, just as there are on high chairs and car seats, strollers, cribs, anything in which a child/infant uses. Children in anything which moves or is not on ground level holds a serious danger of weight shifting and falling. Swings and bouncers are dangerous after the weight max of having the structure break or possibly entangle, posing a very serious risk. Most two year olds can climb out of play pens before a parent has completly turned their back, creating a bigger problem of falling and breaking a bone, hitting their heads. Two year olds are pretty ingenious; mine learned to use stuffed animals to stack and climb up on after changing (again) child proof locks on cabinet doors in the kitchen.
Although there's no such thing as a totally child safe house, I'm specualting this op has come close. About the only thing that can be done outside of what's tried is lock the 5 year old in her room when she isn't within sight. Five year olds should be trusted to a point, but she can't. The OP was referring to the 5 year old as being the barber, the 2 year old as the victim of unsisterly attention.

Hey, maybe put up a security screen on the 5 year old's door? That way you can lock her in and still have a view and tell her calmly that this is just how it is gonna be until she stops doing this. That it isn't a game, and you aren't going to put up with it any more. Period.

 

[jenny_kap]

i think that to lock the objects she uses it is not a solution. maybe next time she will punish her sister by taking her eye out using a finger. so, i think you have to discipline her using any method that you see it works with her.