A case for marriage or My cousin died

[rancher hicks]

If anyone else is in this situation like spooks is in the States research pre=paid pre-planned funerals, while not quite as good as a life insurance policy because it wouldn't pay for medical bills court costs etc. at least the funeral would be paid for.

That is a very good idea! I never thought of it. I should have, this past summer went to a friends 70th. As a joke I gave him a (made up), gift certificate to New Comers furneral home. It was a big hit.

 

[rancher hicks]

Folks, my title may have been somewhat misleading, though I am not an advocate of living together or gay marriage. That really wasn't my point.

My point is that Denise loved my cousin I'm sure. She and he shared and were willing to share everything but the type of trust I believe comes with marriage. The type that says, I trust you won't run out on me when times get tough (cuz they will), I trust you won't run out on my when I do something stupid, (cuz you will), I trust you won't run out on me when love seems stale or cold, cuz it will, I trust you'll love me through hot flashes and being woke up in the middle of the night when I have to pee for the third time. Because I trust you enough to have my name carved next to yours in stone forever. I will marry you.

True love isn't a diamond, it becomes one after having survived pressure and heat. That doesn't happen over night.

The laws are what they are and because they are what they are, it is important to sign papers, documents to put our entire life into the other persons hands by signing on the dotted line. I have no doubt that my cousin would have done this, should have done this, but he didn't and now she has to live the rest of her life with unnecessary regret.

In olden days, part of the wedding vows was, "Unto thee I pledge my troth" or "I pledge thee my troth". The word Troth means Trust. I pledge thee my trust.

Whatever papers you sign do it because you Trust each other. Don't let your loved one bear unnecessary grief.

 

[Drapery Mary]

Good Points! As someone who lives with a man and we aren't married this hits home for me.

Property can be retitled beforehand in a "survivorship deed" so that all you need to transfer it into your name is a death certificate- none of the estate stuff that is the norm when property is titled in someones name and they pass.

A living will is also a good thing to have. That way you decide what happens to you and you can make a Healthcare POA (power of attorney) so that you can name 1 or 2 people who can make decisions for you in the event you need it. Just make sure those people know where your paperwork is and what your wishes are.

From my experience with a DNR they will save you if you will still have quality of life afterwards. They will still treat you for broken arms and any kind of illness you may get but once your body has been stressed to the limit, they will let you go.

 

[oldrooster]

Good Points! As someone who lives with a man and we aren't married this hits home for me.

Property can be retitled beforehand in a "survivorship deed" so that all you need to transfer it into your name is a death certificate- none of the estate stuff that is the norm when property is titled in someones name and they pass.

A living will is also a good thing to have. That way you decide what happens to you and you can make a Healthcare POA (power of attorney) so that you can name 1 or 2 people who can make decisions for you in the event you need it. Just make sure those people know where your paperwork is and what your wishes are.

From my experience with a DNR they will save you if you will still have quality of life afterwards. They will still treat you for broken arms and any kind of illness you may get but once your body has been stressed to the limit, they will let you go.

That is true but if one can get a marriage certificate then it makes it easier if something falls through the cracks (it will no excepttions) and it makes an attorney's work less to clean it up after you die and prevent problems before.

 

[debilorrah]

Ken and I are paying for his funeral now. You have no idea how disturbing it is to see that auto-deduction every month.

 

[Mattemma]

I just printed off and filled out my forms for living will,power of attorney,death certificate info,
and my choice of a direct cremation.Have the forms for dh and the kids.No one wants fo deal with finding
all this info when emotions are high.This way we can just grab the paperwork instead of arguing or looking
for information.

In addition to those things I nagged family to do survivorship deeds and adding names to
accounts for access after death.We all die so we should prep for it. I am already looking at places to use for cremation,but won't
prepay any place.To many scammers.

 

[rancher hicks]

When my mother passed she made sure her cremation and burial were taken care of. She did have cancer so that kind of motivated her.

BUT I admonished her after DW had a death and there was no will. She has a half brother who inherited 1/3 of the estate just for being born. We have no association with him. I know her aunt would not have wanted it that way but she left no will, no papers nothing.

I didn't go to my cousins wake. It was just to hard and I was afraid, as his sisters are criminals some having done time. He was a nice guy, but you can't always choose your relatives.

I also agree with old rooster. A marriage certificate can cover all your bases.

This past year DIL step father died very young 53. He had two minor kids who wanted to stay with the stepmother rather than their own. There was nothing to be done since nothing had been put in writing. Now the kids are with the alcoholic mother. Very sad.

Peace,

Rancher