Ok, so I take care of some of the older family members on a full time basis and I occasionally need help. You know, having someone stay home while I go to the grocery store, take one of them to the Dr., etc. It's a matter of safety for the people I take care of.
Well, we have a (self designated) 'upscale' set of family that lives nearby. They are more closely related to the folks I take care of than I am. They have always thought of themselves as better than the rest of us, and talk trash about other member of the family. I know good and well if they are talking trash to me about other family members, then they will also do it to me behind my back. Whatever. Anyway, they always promise to come help, or say I can call and they will come help. But half the time, they don't show up. Something more important invariably comes up (they are retired, BTW).
I have not figured out how to deal with this, other than completely not depending on them. I feel so fake when they say, "I'll come over if you need me", and I pretend like I would call them. Truth is, I don't 'need' them because I can't depend on them.
Is it better to tell them the truth or to keep on faking it and playing nice? I have worded a letter to them several times in my mind.
One of them had called me a month ago and cried about how it's wasn't fair that they weren't helping more and they wanted to do more... This was when one of the folks I take care of was very sick and I was completely overwhelmed trying to care for both of them. Well, then she didn't show up on the next date that she said she would visit. And the last time I saw her, she chastized me for not calling her because I couldn't get out of the house to get groceries. I just about let her have it then and there... Of course, she and her daughter also promised last week that they'd be coming once a week to give me some relief, and I haven't heard a peep out of either of them about coming over this week.
SIGH. It's really the pits. What's a nice girl like me to do about this? I'm just about to pull my beard out (little joke, there).
Honestly, I don't have the social skills to deal with this one, all it does is make me mad.
Help! (Thanks sooooooo much for letting me vent)
Well, we have a (self designated) 'upscale' set of family that lives nearby. They are more closely related to the folks I take care of than I am. They have always thought of themselves as better than the rest of us, and talk trash about other member of the family. I know good and well if they are talking trash to me about other family members, then they will also do it to me behind my back. Whatever. Anyway, they always promise to come help, or say I can call and they will come help. But half the time, they don't show up. Something more important invariably comes up (they are retired, BTW).
I have not figured out how to deal with this, other than completely not depending on them. I feel so fake when they say, "I'll come over if you need me", and I pretend like I would call them. Truth is, I don't 'need' them because I can't depend on them.
Is it better to tell them the truth or to keep on faking it and playing nice? I have worded a letter to them several times in my mind.
One of them had called me a month ago and cried about how it's wasn't fair that they weren't helping more and they wanted to do more... This was when one of the folks I take care of was very sick and I was completely overwhelmed trying to care for both of them. Well, then she didn't show up on the next date that she said she would visit. And the last time I saw her, she chastized me for not calling her because I couldn't get out of the house to get groceries. I just about let her have it then and there... Of course, she and her daughter also promised last week that they'd be coming once a week to give me some relief, and I haven't heard a peep out of either of them about coming over this week.
SIGH. It's really the pits. What's a nice girl like me to do about this? I'm just about to pull my beard out (little joke, there).
Honestly, I don't have the social skills to deal with this one, all it does is make me mad.
Help! (Thanks sooooooo much for letting me vent)
