A Question for Boyd and the rest of you Foster Parents.

[wanda047]

Fostering can be a wonderful experience, but you should know up front it can be very stressful and heart-breaking at times. Not every child that comes into your house is a bundle of joy.

And then there are those that you become so attached to...

We've adopted three. With our own 5 biological children, that gives us 8 total. Of the three we adopted, the oldest was a 4 yr. old little girl who had no disabilities or challenges. She is now a beautiful 12 year old.

Her infant brother was 6 months old when we got him. He was a FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) baby. He is now 7 yr old and we are just now seeing the effects of this. He's a lovely child, extremely smart and charming, but also very hyper and definitely a drama major!

Our youngest is a little bi-racial child who is going through his terrible twos right now! We picked him up straight from the hospital at 3 days old. He was born with drugs in his system. At a year old he came up for adoption and we couldn't let him go.

Now to answer your question... should you go for it?? Absolutely! And if I were going to give you some friendly advice it would be "don't over-whelme yourself!" Start slowly. Maybe take one child to begin with and when you feel you can handle another, take another one. In Arkansas where I live, a foster home can not have more than 2 children under the age of two. So if you only want infants and toddlers... two would be your limit.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[kelseygirl707]

Quote:
Thanks for the Info Wanda!

As for taking it slowly, we would Definatley, we actually don't have the room to take on more than 1 at a time, we only have 1 extra bedroom, and it's would only be comfortable for 1.

I know there will be a lot of chalenges. Hubby is all in for it, except that he knows that if we have a baby for an extended period of time, we would do everything in out power to adopt, But he's not sure if he could handle raising a child with a major disability, he has a cousin with Down syndrom, and he just doesn't know if he could handle that. what are the odds of a baby going into foster care who doesn't suffer from FAS, Drug addiction, or Down Syndrom, or any other major disability for that matter.

 

[wanda047]

what are the odds of a baby going into foster care who doesn't suffer from FAS, Drug addiction, or Down Syndrom, or any other major disability for that matter.

There are lots of reasons that children go into foster care and not all these children are children who suffer from disabilities. Alot of children go into care for environmental neglect. In one particular case that I was involved with... after being place in care for the third time... parental rights were terminated. There were 5 children in this case (the youngest an infant), the parents were young, were constantly in trouble with the law, children were constantly unsupervised, their home was unfit for animals, etc. These 5 children are perfectly normal, healthy children, who have just suffered from years of neglect.

Another young lady I had in care.. her mother died of an overdose. Her father had died the previous year and she had no family in the State. She had no choice but to be placed in foster care. Again... she was a beautiful child with no problems.

I could go on and on and I'm sure the other foster parents can tell you similar stories. So to answer your question, the possibilities of you being able to foster/adopt a child without disabilities/health issues is good. It's not always drugs and alcohol that put these kids in the system.​

 

[Boyd]

Here in Michigan, you have the right to know what you are dealing with before you make your decision. I've turned more down than I've kept, you just have to go with what you are comfortable with.

I don't take in children with major health disabilitites, maybe when I am fully retired I will, but not at this time.

 

[Southernbelle]

Keep in mind, the social worker will present a case to you and if you feel that you're not prepared for it, you can tell them no. Like Wanda said, there's a lot of perfectly normal kids in care and just because a baby was born with FAS or a drug addiction doesn't necessarily mean that they will have problems later.

 

[kelseygirl707]

Thanks guys.

DH and I leave on Vacation in a few hours, but when we get back on Tuesday we will give our foster Care director a call. She told us that when we're ready, to just give her a call, and she will come out to our house to do a one on one visit, and go over the program with us!, I'm sooo Excited! Now lf I could just top off my excitement by winning some moola in Reno this weekend! Our Hotel Casino has a single deck black jack table that I have always walked away from with money, so I'm excited!

 

[Boyd]

 

[imtc]

just an FYI for Down Syndrome....my son was 10 mo's old when we got him in foster care and he has downs....I can honestly say he is the EASIEST baby I've ever taken care of. He's actually been healthier than my other kids too...rarely gets colds and things like that and is very easy going with no other medical issues. ALL his medical expenses & therapies are fully covered thru medicaid which was part of his adoption so has been a very easy child to deal with. If you prefer babies....he is also one that will give you your fill of all those develpmental stages since they last so much longer than a typical child. He is definately learning (working right now on letters with his therapist as I'm typing) and doing really well with his cognitive skills. Starts 1st grade in the fall. He has really been an easy child and nothing but a joy. (And I was a little nervous at first too thinking it would be harder than it is...lol)

 

[OlliOlliOlli]

I am interested in fostering as a single woman with a partner out of wedlock, once I get my hideous amount of consumer debt squared away. Would I be chucked away because I am not married?

 

[wanda047]

In Arkansas, being single is really not an issue. I know of a lady locally who is single and she does a wonderful job fostering. However, they would not allow you to foster if living with someone out of wedlock.