Advice? SIS and SSI

[thechickenchick]

Quote:
I think your right it is in the water!! I always wonder also , how can 2 girls that were raised the exact same turn out so differently? The part that P me off is my sister has everyone around her feeling sorry for her. Whether it be that she has gone through a divorce, has 4 kids or the fact that she lost both of her parents. She uses all of this as an excuse to act the way she does. HELLO!! The only part of that I don't deal with is the 4 kids, but I too have been through divorce(s) and the loss of our parents. After they died she called me and told me she was going to kill herself, and all I could say was that she was being selfish. Her 4 kids did not mean enough to her to stick around? She was very angry that I didn't react the way she wanted me to so she called some friends of my parents and told them the same thing. They called 911 and she was admitted to the hospital. That was exactally what she wanted. She pulled the same thing 5 times before people quit falling for that attention getting tactic.

Like I said I have millions of stories but it all comes down to I am a better person with out her in my life. She knew how to suck the air right out of my life.

Please don't take that as I am telling you to disown your family. I would never suggest that to anyone. I am just saying I understand where you are coming from. I catch a lot of flack from family and even strangers that think I am evil and insensitive to not acknowledge my sister. I don't care if they don't understand, this is my choice.

 

[PineappleMama]

Wow... *looks around* I swear you've got cameras and are just reading the script of our lives.

Mom and Sis both pull that crap. Sorry, but if you truly had any desire to off yourself there are ways. Plenty of ways. If however you just want attention then you eat some Tylenol and call every person you know and tell them until one calls 911 for you. Just calling 911 yourself wouldn't be enough attention. I especially like the time mom locked herself in the car, so stepdad called in, she waited until the cop was standing next to the car window (with ambulance en route) to slice. Had she actually wanted to die, couldn't go on, etc. then she could have done the same in the bathroom while we were at school and step was at work. The fact that she waited until everyone was looking, kicking up a fuss, and help to staunch bleeding was already there tells me she did NOT want to die... so, what reason is there for 'attempted suicide' other than wanting to die? Attention. Not really any wonder my sis is so screwed up... she's following the example set. Difference of course is that mom managed to hold down a job even with her little fits. I just don't know how she missed the work ethic gene. That was the only instance that involved blood, too messy I suppose, so she went back to her old standby of pills and phone calls. Sis started pulling similar stunts in her teens ... mostly when she'd get grounded... nowadays it's if mom/dad cut her off she pulls a stunt... attention and gets them feeling guilty... it amazes me how manipulative both of them can be... acting would have been a much healthier use for the talent.

ANYWHO... I can't decide whether it's a comfort we're not alone or if it's scary as hades that there's more than two of these loons running around.

Sis came by yesterday chipper as a jay... she's back on the CPR Training kick and acting like everything is hunky dory... honestly I just don't see her giving up her DD... that's her sole income source... that child support... she gives her up she really will have to get a job. She did mention she wasn't going to do the SS thing, just get a job instead... sorry but if you were really disabled that wouldn't be an option which tells you she knows perfectly well that she isn't disabled and was willfully committing fraud. I told her I'm relieved since signing that saying we were getting $350 (she played dumb about not seeing that the caseworker had written $300 on the back part already) per month would screw up DHs financial aid. So, least I know she won't be asking about that in the future... and I didn't come out like the bad guy since she decided (or was told she didn't qualify) not to do it.

She didn't mention getting kicked out of the shelter, didn't mention CPS... she did rant about how mom was drunk (she's doing AA but has failed in the past so I don't know who to believe on that point) and trying to tell her how to live her life blah blah blah... and that the next day she called begging forgiveness (something Mom does NOT do... ever)... sounded like bragging to me... why would you brag that you can manipulate your mother? She didn't mention the kids, and didn't have them with her -again her DD & my DD are BFF- which was odd as the BF hates them being dumped on him... yes even his own son... the whole dang situation is fishy. But, if CPS is involved they'll find them and sort it out soon enough.

 

[thechickenchick]

Oh my Pineapple! It is a shame we don't live closer we could have coffee and chat about out "loony relatives" for hours!! My sister had a friend call my parents when she was 17 and told then she was committing suicide with a curling iron

Figure that one out!

I will answer better later, I need to go cook supper but I saw you replied and wanted to check in real quick. Hang in there, take a deep breath and try not to tell the whole lot of them to, well you know!!!

Oh and the cameras are really small and hard to find

 

[PineappleMama]

Ran to Kroger for a couple things... got back and sis had called a few times. Figured it was to ask me about taking her to Wally World (her car is STILL parked/dead in our driveway)... figured I'd call her back later.

Then got a call from US Government Social (according to caller ID)

It was a Social Security Caseworker wanting me to verify our household bills. I told her that was not going to happen, that was why I refused to fill out the form that had been all filled in with info about how much money we were getting from Ash when she was supposedly stayed with us. Told her that she didn't live with us, that years ago KK did, but not Ash EVER. We simply do not have the space, n'mind hubby in school AND us HSing. And that I wasn't going to lie, commit fraud, by saying she did. She really didn't want to hear that... kept on with "We know it was only a little while, less than a month" She said May 16th... didn't say 'til when Ash had told her she left... that sort of thing.

I told her I am not going to jeopardize DH's financial aid, not going to risk and IRS audit, fines and/or jail so that my sister can commit fraud. Just not going to happen. How a verbal verification would work anyways, rather than a signed form, I do not know... but evidently they were trying. She finally gave up and started asking me if maybe she was living in Burleson. Told her Mom just got divorced, has no furniture in the house but a bed and a chair and that she has to be able to leave with no notice so the realtor can show it so I KNOW she hasn't lived there... She finally said Thank You and hung up....

Ash called almost immediately after that "Sooooo have you gotten any calls today?"

I ask "Like what?" seeing as how she hasn't told me squat about what's up with CPS, the kids, etc. who knows who all might be planning to call.

She went into this sweet talking voice "Oh just the SS office might call and have you verify things."

I said "Ash I told you weeks ago that I am not going to lie for you when I said I wouldn't sign that form."

And she says "Oh well I'm already approved for this address, they just need your verification so I can get back payments, you don't have to sign anything"

I said "It's still fraud. Lying to a government agent that could blow up in our faces. I'm not going to risk blowing DH's scholarships, grants, not to mention screwing up IRS stuff, fraud. I think the kids deserve better than parents that end up in JAIL."

Went on longer than that but that's the general gist... knowing I'd already said no she told them to call me anyways. Doesn't give a farmer's fig about me, DH, n'mind our kids... no real surprise since she's got fraud/counterfitting/check crap hanging over her head, positive drug test, abusive BF... which lead to kids being taken by CPS AGAIN... if she doesn't care about her own kids, why would I think for a second that she'd give a crap about mine... *sigh*

Anywho, she finally said "I'll call ya back later"... I have a feeling she thinks she going to talk me into it or something. Freakin' psycho. But we knew that. What caught me off guard was that the agent seemed rather intent on me telling her this that and the other... even if it was a lie... she didn't come out and say that, but it just felt that way (if that makes sense)... which I don't understand... a chunk of her check is taken out for taxes... why in the world would you help someone lie and cheat the system that you're paying for?

So... yeah, I thought this topic was dead... I said no, should have been the end... but here we go with a bump. Dangit.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Caller ID. Ignore her calls. She is toxic.

to you for having to put up with it!

 

[PineappleMama]

Yeah, mostly I answer so I can get updates on the kiddos.

KK is DD's BFF (geez sounds like a personal ad)... not to mention me being the eldest, it's just ingrained to care.

I don't go on about her horrible behavior (been there done that it does NO good, she uses it as a 'everyone's picking on me' excuse for using to 'make her feel better' so it's really all your fault *eyeroll*) but I can decipher news about the babes in her rambling... if I've already talked to mom and know the scoop no need to answer though.

Edit... BTW that was all about 3:30-4:00... we then had karate, and I typed this when I got back... so far that "I'll call ya later" hasn't happened... prolly won't... bet you dollars to donuts the reason she got off so fast was because her caseworker was calling to say I said not no but heck no... and she's prolly peeved I didn't 'confess'... but it was difficult to even get a word in so I don't feel bad. She could have warned me, but she'd have had to admit that she LIED... not gonna happen. *shrug* Time to deal with dinner.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

This may be further than you choose to go, but it should put an end to it. Write a letter to the head of your local welfare branch and outline what has been going on; specifically state that Sis has never and will never live with you. That you are specifically verifying that it has NOT ocurred, and are annoyed at a caseworker who seems insistent on having you change your story. List the caseworkers name as well as your sister's.

 

[redhen]

Another thing..
You DONT want it listed ANYWHERE that she ever lived with you..BECAUSE of her criminal record and her CPS record also..
You have kids... if CPS ever thinks that shes living with you and you children... you CAN be the next one to be investigated by them.
Something to think about.

 

[PineappleMama]

Already thought of it... one reason we said no to taking KK this time... not that we were really given time to say no, THAT caseworker assumed no when I said I had to speak to DH before giving her an answer... weird that... but yeah, having to deal with those people was a primary concern. KK isn't a problem. When she's in a stable place (as with us for months) she behaves well, eats well (no more I don't eat this that and the other crap just 'cuz Mama doesn't/to get attention)...

Thing is, she put her address as ours on her info, with the PO, we never had a hand in it... ANYONE can send their mail ANYWHERE and all you can do is put "Return to sender/Not at this address" on it. You toss it and it's a crime. Mom has crap coming here, my uncle has crap coming here, Sis has crap coming here... oh sure, they let us know after the fact... after they filled out a change of address with the PO, but there's really nothing we can do... WE can't fill out a form about their info... least that's what one PO worker told us... that IS right right?

Anyways, point is, she listed her mailing address as this, don't know about physical, because I never saw a form for food stamps, medicaid, etc. I never verified squat. SS was the only one where she brought a form and asked me to lie, and I said no. So, there is no record that I ever said anything about her living here... just her word.

Seems like she'd look pretty stupid, with her record, trying to pull a 'she's lying' thing on me (no record)... but it is worrisome. But I don't know that there's a thing I can do. I don't know her caseworker, I'm not on record anywhere, and they can't talk to me about her info without violating HER rights... so... yeah. Don't know what contacting them would do?

 

[redhen]

Isnt her welfare checks (or whatever..i cant remember what you said in another post/thread now..) Coming to your house though?? Isnt she using your address for that?