Quote:
I agree with all this WHOLE heartedly. Thanks for putting this SO well.
I agree with all this WHOLE heartedly. Thanks for putting this SO well.
alcohol related-need advice--UPDATE 1-2-2008
- Thread starter seminolewind
- Start date
My dad is a recovered alcoholic. He said what helped him stop drinking the most along with the AA meetings was having someone right there by his side, supporting him all the way, even when he did mess up. Just be there for her all the time, cheer her on is the best thing you can do, then AA & rehab, of course. Good luck. I'll pray for her, and for you too.
I just want to send you a hug.
Everything that can be said has been said. It is up to your sister now
and AA is a good place to start. Alanon would be wonderful for you.
They will give you the tools to help her, and help yourself.
As you can see by the responses a lot of us have walked in your shoes
and some have walked in her's.
Everything that can be said has been said. It is up to your sister now
and AA is a good place to start. Alanon would be wonderful for you.
They will give you the tools to help her, and help yourself.
As you can see by the responses a lot of us have walked in your shoes
and some have walked in her's.
Seminole, both my parent were alcoholics so I know where you are coming from. As a child my dad went to AA, my mom to Alanon, us kids to Alateens and we did learn that alcoholism is a disease and you have to take it one day at a time. I hope she is sincere in her desire to stop. I'll pray for your sister and you. Laura
- Thread starter
- #25
Spotted Crow, I'm sorry you had to grow up that way, makes me think of my sister's kids and even my DD, since her dad was an alcoholic. He died at the age of 52. He never thought he had a problem, and I saw him go thru the part where they can't hold a job anymore. That's where my sister is now. She is very thin.
In this state, we can "Baker Act" someone, I think they have to hold them for 72 hrs. I was thinking of that if we can't find a detox.
I think it's a good omen maybe, that she keeps calling me asking for help.
In this state, we can "Baker Act" someone, I think they have to hold them for 72 hrs. I was thinking of that if we can't find a detox.
I think it's a good omen maybe, that she keeps calling me asking for help.
- Thread starter
- #26
Arlee, it seems that right now she is drinking to avoid the DT's, she knows its coming and is scared.
Please know that I am familiar with some of the manipulations and lies, I am only offering her things like a ride or to listen to her. I am not going to give her money, or take her in, I understand what enabling is, however, I know that there is always the chance that she might sneak one by me, and I always have to remember that it is safer not to believe anything she says until I am sure it is the truth.
Please know that I am familiar with some of the manipulations and lies, I am only offering her things like a ride or to listen to her. I am not going to give her money, or take her in, I understand what enabling is, however, I know that there is always the chance that she might sneak one by me, and I always have to remember that it is safer not to believe anything she says until I am sure it is the truth.
- Thread starter
- #27
Quote:
Karen-
The only thing you can do is offer her the solution of AA and the possibility of networking through other alcoholics (like her) on what is best for her...
Yes, getting a sponsor ASAP is a BIG step. Her sponsor will aid her in her journey of recovery. If she can't find a sponsor that will work for her right away she should get a temporary sponsor. She needs guidance NOW! I can't stress that enough...
Being on step 1 for a while sometimes...needs to be done. It's all very personal. Some can fly right through the 12 steps and some take a bit of work. It might just mean those folks just need to take baby-steps. (No pun intended) Whatever works...the trick is to focus on whatever solution there is. If she's on step 1 for a few weeks and is sober and working the program...that's great! She'll get there. If she sticks to the program!
As for you...
I was not saying in any way that this was up to you. I was just suggesting perhaps you go with her because sometimes the act itself can put someone more at ease. Not always, but sometimes. I know too well that no matter how much one wants an addict to stop they will not...not until they are sick and tired. Hit bottom. Sometimes...many bottoms.
Sometimes...they don't get it.
I lost my nephew to addiction...so, this is all very near to me. I swore, since his death, that I would never ignore an addict in need. If not at an a AA meeting then wherever it may be. I only wish I had done something for him...but, oh well. That's life on life's terms. He was 32.
On a bright note: I have seen firsthand how AA has helped MANY folks. I believe this would help your sister more than just drying up and going back out again. She needs to dry up yes, but most importantly...she needs to STAY dry. This is where AA comes in.
I wish you and your sister the best. I hope she gets the help she needs...that which will enable her a much better quality of life. It's a helpless situation...I know. So, do the best you can and know that that is ALL you can do. It IS up to her...may she find the higher power to assist her with this!
Peace-
Pedro
PS Although I don't think I am an alcoholic and I drink every once in a long time, I always watch myself. If it ever is evident I may have a problem...I know to get my butt to an AA meeting.
You're right, I'll see about a meeting tomorrow, and I think that the network and sponser is the best we can do. She really does need their guidance, I can't do that, I can just be there for her as she tries to help herself.
Karen-
The only thing you can do is offer her the solution of AA and the possibility of networking through other alcoholics (like her) on what is best for her...
Yes, getting a sponsor ASAP is a BIG step. Her sponsor will aid her in her journey of recovery. If she can't find a sponsor that will work for her right away she should get a temporary sponsor. She needs guidance NOW! I can't stress that enough...
Being on step 1 for a while sometimes...needs to be done. It's all very personal. Some can fly right through the 12 steps and some take a bit of work. It might just mean those folks just need to take baby-steps. (No pun intended) Whatever works...the trick is to focus on whatever solution there is. If she's on step 1 for a few weeks and is sober and working the program...that's great! She'll get there. If she sticks to the program!
As for you...
I was not saying in any way that this was up to you. I was just suggesting perhaps you go with her because sometimes the act itself can put someone more at ease. Not always, but sometimes. I know too well that no matter how much one wants an addict to stop they will not...not until they are sick and tired. Hit bottom. Sometimes...many bottoms.
Sometimes...they don't get it.
I lost my nephew to addiction...so, this is all very near to me. I swore, since his death, that I would never ignore an addict in need. If not at an a AA meeting then wherever it may be. I only wish I had done something for him...but, oh well. That's life on life's terms. He was 32.
On a bright note: I have seen firsthand how AA has helped MANY folks. I believe this would help your sister more than just drying up and going back out again. She needs to dry up yes, but most importantly...she needs to STAY dry. This is where AA comes in.
I wish you and your sister the best. I hope she gets the help she needs...that which will enable her a much better quality of life. It's a helpless situation...I know. So, do the best you can and know that that is ALL you can do. It IS up to her...may she find the higher power to assist her with this!
Peace-
Pedro
PS Although I don't think I am an alcoholic and I drink every once in a long time, I always watch myself. If it ever is evident I may have a problem...I know to get my butt to an AA meeting.
You're right, I'll see about a meeting tomorrow, and I think that the network and sponser is the best we can do. She really does need their guidance, I can't do that, I can just be there for her as she tries to help herself.
Last edited:
- Thread starter
- #28
Quote:
Interesting that you mention this, that's where I took my DD to weekly meetings with a counselor when I saw the signs of a child of an alcoholic.
Interesting that you mention this, that's where I took my DD to weekly meetings with a counselor when I saw the signs of a child of an alcoholic.
- Thread starter
- #29
Quote:
Meghan, I know you are not being harsh. And I am trying to just be someone who will drive her to AA or detox or whatever, and listen to her. She is calling once or twice a day, but only asking for help finding a place for her to dry out.
I'm glad (not really) that I am getting good advice here. It's unfortunate why that advice is good.
Meghan, I know you are not being harsh. And I am trying to just be someone who will drive her to AA or detox or whatever, and listen to her. She is calling once or twice a day, but only asking for help finding a place for her to dry out.
I'm glad (not really) that I am getting good advice here. It's unfortunate why that advice is good.
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