As much as I dislike my mother outlaw
if the ole bat lives to be 90, I'll help with throwing her a party.
I suggest that instead of MIL throwing herself a party, which IMO is her screaming that she wants a bday party
, I'd consider contacting the other siblings and seeing if they would agree to having a party for her, and inviting those that she was wanting there. Living for 90 yrs is no small feat.
If the siblings agree, see if dollar amount per family can be reached so you have a budget to work with. If MIL wants to add her suggestions, listen to them, consider if it will work, and go from there. The good news is you have a year to work on planning. It doesn't have to be extremely fancy. Just rememberable for MIL. I don't know how many siblings there are, or if they would be agreeable to helping, but you would be surprised at what can be accomplished in a church kitchen with several people helping.
If disabled me can rally the troops (my neighbors KIDS), and throw a 90th bday party for my neighbor with a month of planning, and a very tight budget (Kids would only agree to $35 a family
), then I'm sure you can get something going. Of course I spent way more than $35, but my neighbor had the time of her life, and come to find out it was the first bday party she had ever had in her life!!!! I didn't know that until after the party, oh and I've only known her a year, as we just moved here last July, and I threw the party this July! But when I found out no one was doing anything for her bday, and that she hadn't had a new dress for over 25 years, I just felt that if I was able to help, I would. I made her a scrapbook with pictures from the party, and she carries it with her everywhere now. Even showing it to the doctors and nurses at her appointments. She's still on cloud 9 and sent me the most heartfelt thank you note.
Anyway, I didn't mean to write that as a brag. Not at all!!! I only wanted to show that it can be done on a minimal budget, be tasteful, and enjoyable..
Please see if you can put aside your hurt feelings for just this event. I truly do know how much it hurts to see your husband intentionally hurt, forgotten, and betrayed. My husband's parents are BOTH that way towards him, and he is the oldest sibling. Makes no sense to me. All I can figure is because he doesn't kiss their butts, and run when they whisper his name.
Life is just too short for that type of negative vibes and energy. Plenty of others love and respect my DH for who he is, and he knows it. I cringe whenever he visits them, or they call to speak to him because I know the outcome every time.
So HUGS! I do know where you are coming from, and it would/will be very, very difficult for me to put aside my hurt feelings IF she lives to be that old. Oh, and btw, mine only live 8 miles from us, and don't visit. Before we moved, they were a mile from us and didn't visit either. Would go by our house many times a day, but not stop to see their son, or oldest two grandkids.
It's their loss hun. Just like it's your MIL's loss that she isn't seeing the grandkids grow up, and isn't supporting and encouraging her son while he continues up the ladder of success.
Pray about it, if you are religious. I feel that works for me when I have everyone here for Christmas. I think I could get along with the devil for one day a year.
In fact, I know I could, as I've been doing it for a few years.
I suggest that instead of MIL throwing herself a party, which IMO is her screaming that she wants a bday party
If the siblings agree, see if dollar amount per family can be reached so you have a budget to work with. If MIL wants to add her suggestions, listen to them, consider if it will work, and go from there. The good news is you have a year to work on planning. It doesn't have to be extremely fancy. Just rememberable for MIL. I don't know how many siblings there are, or if they would be agreeable to helping, but you would be surprised at what can be accomplished in a church kitchen with several people helping.
If disabled me can rally the troops (my neighbors KIDS), and throw a 90th bday party for my neighbor with a month of planning, and a very tight budget (Kids would only agree to $35 a family
Anyway, I didn't mean to write that as a brag. Not at all!!! I only wanted to show that it can be done on a minimal budget, be tasteful, and enjoyable..
Please see if you can put aside your hurt feelings for just this event. I truly do know how much it hurts to see your husband intentionally hurt, forgotten, and betrayed. My husband's parents are BOTH that way towards him, and he is the oldest sibling. Makes no sense to me. All I can figure is because he doesn't kiss their butts, and run when they whisper his name.
So HUGS! I do know where you are coming from, and it would/will be very, very difficult for me to put aside my hurt feelings IF she lives to be that old. Oh, and btw, mine only live 8 miles from us, and don't visit. Before we moved, they were a mile from us and didn't visit either. Would go by our house many times a day, but not stop to see their son, or oldest two grandkids.
It's their loss hun. Just like it's your MIL's loss that she isn't seeing the grandkids grow up, and isn't supporting and encouraging her son while he continues up the ladder of success.
Pray about it, if you are religious. I feel that works for me when I have everyone here for Christmas. I think I could get along with the devil for one day a year.
