Am I in the Right, Or am I in the Wrong??? UPDATE Pg. 14)

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

****Please keep this family friendly.**** No cuss words or innapropriate content.*****

Ok about a year and a half ago. My sister in law had a friend coming over to our house alot. This friend, I will call "R", started making advances at my husband. Writting love letters. Then he started to get caught up in it and write them back. Well I confronted them both and it stopped, and did not go any further than letters.

Well now my SIL is getting married. She has this "R" person as one of her bridesmaids. I have no idea why?

Well I dont want to have any thing to do with "R", so I have decided not to go to the wedding?

So am I in the Wrong Or the Right. It is a bit of a sticky situation here. My SIL says it is immature that I dont go because "R" is there. Well to me "R" is a toxic person to me. She tries to get any married man. I dont want to be around it or her at all. Or her other not so nice friends.

I dont usually ask advice like this online. But I thought it wouldnt hurt.. My SIL and her family think it is stupid that I wont go. My family thinks I have every right not to go if this "R" person is there.

What do you think??

ETA.. This "R" person just caused a couple to get divorced. Now since she broke a couple up. She should be on her next home wrecking adventure. She always moves on once she gets the couple to break up.

 

[WallTenters]

Tell her you'll go to that wedding when hell freezes over.

If this woman was having a would-be affair with your husband, having his sister make her a bride's maid and continuing that friendship just shows that she's condoning that behavior - and the damage it does to your marriage.

Ask her how she would feel if the tables were turned. I personally wouldn't let him go either - especially if I didn't.

 

[Tigerjane]

I agree she sounds like a loser. But this is your family, and you can't let her ruin anymore of your life. Go to the wedding, explain to your husband to not speak to "R", and enjoy yourself. She probably won't even approach you (it would be pretty ballsy if she did!). It's just a few hours, as painful as it may sound like it'll be.

 

[SG_Chicken]

I agree "when hell freezes over". You have to keep your family safe from this person and if that means not going to the wedding then more power to you. Your SIL may be putting her own marriage at risk if she allows this knowingly and all.

What ever you choose though best of luck to you and keep your head up and your boxing gloves close.

 

[hughmac312]

hmmm, is this still the snake discussion?

if you have to keep an eye on anybody and keep them from anybody is that any way to live?

you don't want a man you can't trust

 

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

Oh this person has confronted me since then. She acts like what she did was not wrong at all. She is trying to be friends with me again. Its not happening. EVER.

This is a very small wedding, the reception is a pot luck, and at the same place. There is no way I could avoid her at all. And it would be very uncomfortable for me to be there. I might want to punch out her lights or something.

Then after the wedding every one is going camping. Well they told me that "R" was not going camping. So I was going to go camping, but not the wedding.

My hubby was supposed to be the best man at this wedding. But when I told him I wasnt going, he said he is not going. But now he also says we are not going camping either. But "R" wasnt supposed to be there. Maybe she is, but they lied to me.

Maybe I should go and just sit up on the hillside away from every body and not with in talking distance to any one. But still can see and hear the whole wedding. But I would most likely be so mad at "R" that I would be putting my fingernails into my hands. Grrr. I have alot of anger built up about that "R" person.

 

[SG_Chicken]

I wouldn't even waste your time going to sit on the hillside. If you do and she see you sitting there she will gloat and know she is making you uncomfortable. I would make other plans wiht your husband to go on a romantic evening/weekend by yourselves. Don't make yourself sick over this work on your marriage and have fun

 

[suzettex5]

Wow, no offense to your SIL, but I wonder if has occured to her that since "R" likes MARRIED men, your SIL is SOOOOO going to be the next victim??!! "R" is just there waiting for the next opportunity.

As for me? I would NEVER go and be around the woman who tried to start an affair with MY husband. Nor would I allow, or be okay with him being around her. Send a gift, thats good enough.

Oh, and you can BET money "R" WILL be on the camping trip- obviously she likes drama... NO better drama to be found than to suprise unsuspecting people in an enviroment where its very difficult to get away.

Good luck.

 

[Oven Ready]

Oh, come on.

How long have you been married? (I don't really want to know, I want you to ask yourself these questions).

Is your husband going to rush off with this R woman in the few hours it takes for a wedding be over and done with, even with the camping? OK I don't get the camping honeymoon with everyone else being there but hey, times they are a-changin'

How is it her fault for causing a divorce? Assuming she's single she must've managed to get a married man to betray his wife - that's HIS fault, he's the one with the wedding vows not her.

Go to your family wedding, if R chats up your husband (and he lets her), kick him where it'll make him say 'ARRRRRR' instead of think about R and tell R that your hubby has HIV and see what kind of face she puts on.

Stand up and be your Sister In Laws Sister In Law, not R's next quivering victim.

 

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

Quote:
Well there is no way we could go on a romantic weekend. We have 2 kids. Plus we barely even have enough money to get to the wedding and the camping trip after(which is mostly paid by SIL). And the wedding and camping is only 30 minutes from where we live.

I kind of think hubby is mad at me for not going. He has barely talked to me since I told his SIL I wasnt going. But I did tell him a couple of weeks ago I wasnt going if "R" was there.

Oh and if I sat on the hillside. I could hide up on the walking trail, surrounded by trees.

I know I dont want to go if she is there. But I also dont want hubby mad at me for not going.