American Baptists - I need your input/exprieinces please

[Angiebubs]

I'm wondering why is being a church "member" so important? The church I grew up in, there was no "membership" and I've often been curious about this?

 

[ChikeeMomma]

Quote:
The pastor and deacons would say that they are loving them and accepting them by baptizing them, and doing their best to help them decide a better way. . . . . . and when they do, their name will be added to the membership roll.

calicokat -- I really hope you don't mind my input! : ) I don't practice the same traditions/by-laws of the AB church, but I'd think that if he is going to pick and choose which sins are allowed to be committed by members (because we all sin) then he should choose to not let certain people be members in waiting -- those who are deemed unworthy in their current state of living should just not be allowed to become members at all.

Honestly, I feel that we all are unworthy, so I don't pick and choose. Again, if others churches hold different traditions, I do not intend to offend you.

 

[calicokat]

Quote:
This is where I can help you out

In the Baptist faith, you become a member of the church as described in my first post. Then if you leave the church, say move to a new state, you request a "Letter of Transfer" to your new church. The churches maintain an actual "Membership Roll" and some families take great pride that "my great-great grandma was a founding member" or something.

Not all churches do this, some don't even have formal "membership" procedures. Different denominations do things all differently

 

[ChickiKat]

I just want to throw out there that this has become a wonderful thread.

 

[emmalynn]

Quote:
You need a license in Mexico if it is a civil marriage which will be recognized by the state. Religious only ceremonies do not need it. Other countries, have no idea.

I don't get the membership roll- not an AB participant either so that could explain it- the only 'roll' I need to be on is the one with the Almighty. A physical paper membership doesn't mean anything to me. I would be offended if I had to appeal to a person (which them being human automatically makes me assume they are a sinner- I am sure I sin daily btw- I occasionally gossip at work, yell at people in traffic, etc) to become part of something that is saving my soul versus asking the Lord to accept me as a convert.

Edited to add: In otherwords, I do not feel their current lifestyle should keep them from becoming a full member. It sounds like a personal agenda of putting someone on probation thereby putting the approving member in a position of judgement.

 

[debilorrah]

Churches that require membership will never have my name on their roster. Churches that require people to act they way they want will never have my name on their roster either.

 

[ChikeeMomma]

Quote:
Ours doesn't require a membership, but I call myself one since I attend there regularly. The Church of God (Anderson, IN affiliate) used to have a membership type ceremony with by-laws and such, but did away with it for reasons that we are seeing on here today.

 

[HHandbasket]

I am not a Baptist, but it sounds to me like you love your church and are faithful and happy. It also sounds to me like your new pastor is trying to impose his own beliefs and processes in a church that has long-established beliefs and practices that vary somewhat from his own. Perhaps having your church board (assuming there is one) sit down with him and have an open, honest, and loving discussion in faith and prayer will help him to understand what is expected of him by the folks that are paying his salary (i.e., the congregation that has a long-established set of rules and norms). Even though being a pastor is a calling into service of God, it is also a paid job.... and in ANY job, you abide by the rules of the establishment that signs your paycheck. If he can't do that, maybe he should find another job & your church can find a pastor whose actions, beliefs, and processes are the same as those your church has established long ago.

I hope, though, that there is a way to come to an understanding with your new pastor regarding church membership.

From what I understand, we are ALL God's children and have the right to belong to which ever church we choose. It would be a shame if this new pastor's practices and beliefs inspire long-established church members to seek membership elsewhere.

Here's sending you good thoughts and prayers for a peaceful resolution to these issues.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
2x AND I agree with Spook.

Sometimes churches needs to revamp their agenda with the changing times....if the church WANTS to put rules on people that are gay or living together (as common law couples), they have that right to do so. And that said couple that lived together can have a choice to find another church.

Personally I don't see anything wrong with co habit together. Even spouses in tight times, end up in divorce because of health insurance coverages or need to get on welfare for the time being or filing bankruptcy because of climbing medical bills...they do live together. Do we need to condemn them because of their cohabitation, for the children's sake, getting decent medical help, govenrment help because of a marriage license? NO!

I was proud to have an aunt that "common law married" my uncle, we have adopted her and loved her. When she died suddenly, she was happy that we called her "aunt" even she was living in sin, of Catholic faith but it was her medical condition that would have broke the couple's back into deep deep debt, simply because of the rules and regulations of our government who can be covered and not covered.

I was one of those "sinners" who co habited. I didn't regret it either.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

I have in my past been mostly Southern Baptist. I don't know how that relates to American Baptist, so I don't know if this helps or not.

Unless the pastor is prepared to deny membership to anyone who is in a state of active sin, I don't know how he can pick out just this one thing. Is he prepared to deny membership to divorcees (the Bible is clearer on divorce than it is on homosexuality)? What about those single people that are doing the deed with their boyfriend/girlfriend (which will exclude the majority of the singles class)?

If he is going to pick out one of the ten commandments (adultery) then he really has to pick them all out. So he now has to exclude:
- those that worship other gods (hmmmm... football perhaps?)
- those that use the Lord's name to cuss
- those that work or do things on the Sabbath (which technically includes going to the buffet line at the restaurant down the street from the church since it causes others to have to work)
- those that dishonor their parents (well there goes most of the youth group)
- those that lie (no officer, I wasn't speeding...)
- those that steal (cheating on taxes? Taking extra ketchup packets back to the office?)
- those that covet their neighbor's things (which would really help cut down on debt in the church if everybody didn't have to have the "cool" toys and gadgets. Apple stock might go down though.)


That is the problem with picking a sin to be worse than all the other sins. Where do you stop? Especially when the Bible itself says that sin is sin and there is no such thing as big sins and little sins. All sin separates us from God. If you don't allow the cohabitants to be members then you ultimately aren't going to be able to allow anyone to be a member.

Now, the Baptist church clearly believes that non-married people should not live together. That is their right. But rather than deny membership, it seems like a better bet would be to advise counseling sessions. Make it clear to the new members why the church frowns on it and request that the behaviour stop. The church is given the task of teaching and training. Let's face it, a few sermons on leaving behind behaviours that you know are wrong would be useful to cover a variety of issues, not just co-habitation. We all need to break certain sin cycles in our worlds.

Truthfully, I would rather be members with someone cohabitating than someone struggling with the sins of pettiness and gossip and backstabbing. Cohabiting really only hurts the participants. A lot of sins damage other people. Those are the ones I can do without. And truthfully, the rightness or wrongness of cohabiting is really between the participants and God. It's no one else's business at the end of the day.