An Open Letter to Significant Others (a RANT)

[EggWalrus]

I do! Even though my hubby was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a year and a half ago...I always say, he's the best thing that happened to me in this lifetime. Treats me like a queen! He's in early stage, I still like to say, that I still have my Scotty man. Slipping into mid stage, but he's still loving and helpful. I've truly been blessed.

I'm sorry if I am grumpy this evening, but I have finally admitted to myself that my wife has Alzheimer's. I've seen the signs for several years now but was in denial. Three of my grandparents, and my mother all died from Alzheimers. She just did a week in a medical induced coma from copd and sepsis. Since she has gotten out of hospital she is meaner than a rattlesnake. And no matter what I do for her, it's not enough or I'm just completely wrong. My Evil Stepdaughter (who inherited 1.2 M and blew it on drugs within 2 years and has moved in with us again) has convinced her that I'm trying to make her think she's crazy so the stepdaughter can get another inheritance. 5 years ago my wife wouldn't piss on her daughter if she was on fire because she is such a junky POS. Now that she's lost her mind she moved the junky in and I moved out to the farm. Wife calls me nearly everyday with money or medicine missing, but she is in a demented fantasy world in which the junky POS daughter can do no wrong and I am to blame for everything. If it was just 20+ years of marriage I could take it. But the last 15, the thieving junky whore and her various mentally ill boyfriends has lived or mooched off my wife and I till I seriously think I would be better off alone. I'm over this junk !
Sorry for dumping on everyone!

 

[Aunt Angus]

I'm sorry if I am grumpy this evening, but I have finally admitted to myself that my wife has Alzheimer's. I've seen the signs for several years now but was in denial. Three of my grandparents, and my mother all died from Alzheimers. She just did a week in a medical induced coma from copd and sepsis. Since she has gotten out of hospital she is meaner than a rattlesnake. And no matter what I do for her, it's not enough or I'm just completely wrong. My Evil Stepdaughter (who inherited 1.2 M and blew it on drugs within 2 years and has moved in with us again) has convinced her that I'm trying to make her think she's crazy so the stepdaughter can get another inheritance. 5 years ago my wife wouldn't piss on her daughter if she was on fire because she is such a junky POS. Now that she's lost her mind she moved the junky in and I moved out to the farm. Wife calls me nearly everyday with money or medicine missing, but she is in a demented fantasy world in which the junky POS daughter can do no wrong and I am to blame for everything. If it was just 20+ years of marriage I could take it. But the last 15, the thieving junky whore and her various mentally ill boyfriends has lived or mooched off my wife and I till I seriously think I would be better off alone. I'm over this junk !
Sorry for dumping on everyone!

I'm so sorry, @EggWalrus ... That's a horrible, tragic situation.


Alzheimer's is no joke, especially for the caretakers. My grandmother had Alzheimer's, and she came to live with my family. She was awful. She complained all the tim and forgot who I was. She called me Henry and constantly blamed Henry for every little thing. Nothing was ever right. I just kept telling myself that I owed her so much for being such a great grandma before she had the disease. Taking care of her for a few years was worth the abuse given how awesome she was for so long.

I don't have any words of wisdom to share. Wish I did...

 

[EggWalrus]

I'm sorry if I am grumpy this evening, but I have finally admitted to myself that my wife has Alzheimer's. I've seen the signs for several years now but was in denial. Three of my grandparents, and my mother all died from Alzheimers. She just did a week in a medical induced coma from copd and sepsis. Since she has gotten out of hospital she is meaner than a rattlesnake. And no matter what I do for her, it's not enough or I'm just completely wrong. My Evil Stepdaughter (who inherited 1.2 M and blew it on drugs within 2 years and has moved in with us again) has convinced her that I'm trying to make her think she's crazy so the stepdaughter can get another inheritance. 5 years ago my wife wouldn't piss on her daughter if she was on fire because she is such a junky POS. Now that she's lost her mind she moved the junky in and I moved out to the farm. Wife calls me nearly everyday with money or medicine missing, but she is in a demented fantasy world in which the junky POS daughter can do no wrong and I am to blame for everything. If it was just 20+ years of marriage I could take it. But the last 15, the thieving junky whore and her various mentally ill boyfriends has lived or mooched off my wife and I till I seriously think I would be better off alone. I'm over this junk !
Sorry for dumping on everyone!

PS I still love her more than any woman I've ever known and would still do anything for her.

 

[Aunt Angus]

PS I still love her more than any woman I've ever known and would still do anything for her.

See? Everyone needs to vent every once in a while. I feel similarly about my hubby even though he drives me crazy sometimes.

 

[Aunt Angus]

PS I still love her more than any woman I've ever known and would still do anything for her.

I want to like this a million times. Fills my heart.

 

[EggWalrus]

I want to like this a million times. Fills my heart.

Thank you Aunt Agnus. That's kind of you.

 

[NewBoots]

I'm sorry if I am grumpy this evening, but I have finally admitted to myself that my wife has Alzheimer's. I've seen the signs for several years now but was in denial. Three of my grandparents, and my mother all died from Alzheimers. She just did a week in a medical induced coma from copd and sepsis. Since she has gotten out of hospital she is meaner than a rattlesnake. And no matter what I do for her, it's not enough or I'm just completely wrong. My Evil Stepdaughter (who inherited 1.2 M and blew it on drugs within 2 years and has moved in with us again) has convinced her that I'm trying to make her think she's crazy so the stepdaughter can get another inheritance. 5 years ago my wife wouldn't piss on her daughter if she was on fire because she is such a junky POS. Now that she's lost her mind she moved the junky in and I moved out to the farm. Wife calls me nearly everyday with money or medicine missing, but she is in a demented fantasy world in which the junky POS daughter can do no wrong and I am to blame for everything. If it was just 20+ years of marriage I could take it. But the last 15, the thieving junky whore and her various mentally ill boyfriends has lived or mooched off my wife and I till I seriously think I would be better off alone. I'm over this junk !
Sorry for dumping on everyone!

I'm so sorry, this must all be terrible to have to deal with.

 

[Chef JimmyJ]

No comment from any Men?
LET SHE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE!
There are bad Husbands and bad Wives. For every Jerk that doesn't help then is critical...There is a Woman who is Critical than expects her man to be motivated. Both are wrong!
31 years with my lovely wife and not all great. It's when we Stopped taking the other for granted that that we realized we can't live without the other.
When our 3 daughters were young. Bev's focus was them. But we also had my MIL living with us to help. So I wanted and thought I should have more of Bev's time. I wanted to continue the Romance that made us a strong couple. And yes, I was very active in taking care of the girls. Bev Breast Fed but I was happy to get up and go get the baby in the middle of the night. And took the girls to Dr's appointments and was active in school events.
But still with all my participation, I felt neglected. Bev just assumed I accepted the situation and made excuses why we could not go out to Dinner or Dancing or just light some Candles, open a bottle Wine and sit together in our giant bathtub and talk. Long story short. Take my felling of neglect and Add some job loss, financial issues and losing our beautiful home, and I spiraled into a Deep Depression. I started drinking heavily and became a Very Angry Man. I would scream at Bev for stupid little things. I never raised my hand but if I got upset would throw my plate of food across the room! I had no patients for the children, yelling at them if they got in an argument, as sisters do and stopped helping with the kids. I was a total A$$ and paid for it with being handed Divorce Papers!
I moved out but still paid the bills. Bev and I kept in close touch though email and phone calls dealing with the kids and daily going on. After 3 months we had figured out that we BOTH spent the last few years, taking each other for granted and not working hard enough to meet each other's wants and needs. In time, Bev told me she had not filed the signed papers and wanted me to come home. We had BOTH learned a lesson. I go out of my way to appreciate every thing Bev did and Does for me. I never miss an opportunity to say, Please and/or Thank You without hesitation. Bev will do little things, just for me, like making my Coffee every morning or bringing home a surprise gift when she is out of the house for many hours.
That separation and enlightenment was 10 years ago and we have never been happier being together. Yes we both lose our temper and argue but we are also quick to apologize when we are wrong. Works pretty good...JJ

 

[Elsveta641]

Sissy, how long married?, it's a work of love.......

Almost 20 years. Only in the early days when we were young and beautiful and wild did we ever have an issue. Only then did it ever feel like work, it's gotten easier and sweeter as time moves along.

 

[EggWalrus]

I'm a Man (not a tranny) and chimed in a little before you. I can respect all your wife and you have been through. We've been there too. As much as I still love her and all our times together, I would have never married her if I knew it meant taking care of her 28 yo (now nearly 50) daughter. My step daughter thieving junky has made our lives hell and barely worth living. But I am so glad that you and yours could get things back to the good side, hopefully I can do the same with my wife before I run out of time.