An Open Letter to Significant Others (a RANT)

[Elsveta641]

You look like Barney, you dress him like a ghey pirate? WTH?
This is a family chicken forum, please don't post perverted things, children could read this.

Oops, sorry kids. I look actually look like Angelina Jolies ugly little sister and dressed my man up like Daryl Dixon.

 

[Elsveta641]

I do! Even though my hubby was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a year and a half ago...I always say, he's the best thing that happened to me in this lifetime. Treats me like a queen! He's in early stage, I still like to say, that I still have my Scotty man. Slipping into mid stage, but he's still loving and helpful. I've truly been blessed.

My grandfather lived with Alzheimer's for nearly 20 years. He was a stern business man and a standoffish family man who cheated his wife and other naughty things. Towards the end he became the most loving and sweet man, coddling the great grandkids and telling them things like "look at those blue eyes, you look like you could be my grand baby." And he even ran away in the middle of the night and serenaded his exwife who had left him for cheating on their 50th anniversary about 8 years prior. She herself had several strokes and was in a similar state. She let him in and they spent the night together. The next day neither remembers the divorce and refused to be parted. It was very hard at times but also gave them, and us, beautiful little gifts along the way. My children got to know him as a sweet and gentle man, not the ball breaker I grew up with. And he made up with granny who even in her strokes out state expressed pleasure to her daughters that she stole grandpa back from "that slut."(yes, granny had a mouth on her.)

 

[EggWalrus]

I've often wondered if Barney might be kin to Angelina with those lips?
Guess there's nothing wrong with playing a little dress up as long as the kids don't get to see the whips and chains, or start using them on each other.

 

[Elsveta641]

I'm sorry if I am grumpy this evening, but I have finally admitted to myself that my wife has Alzheimer's. I've seen the signs for several years now but was in denial. Three of my grandparents, and my mother all died from Alzheimers. She just did a week in a medical induced coma from copd and sepsis. Since she has gotten out of hospital she is meaner than a rattlesnake. And no matter what I do for her, it's not enough or I'm just completely wrong. My Evil Stepdaughter (who inherited 1.2 M and blew it on drugs within 2 years and has moved in with us again) has convinced her that I'm trying to make her think she's crazy so the stepdaughter can get another inheritance. 5 years ago my wife wouldn't piss on her daughter if she was on fire because she is such a junky POS. Now that she's lost her mind she moved the junky in and I moved out to the farm. Wife calls me nearly everyday with money or medicine missing, but she is in a demented fantasy world in which the junky POS daughter can do no wrong and I am to blame for everything. If it was just 20+ years of marriage I could take it. But the last 15, the thieving junky whore and her various mentally ill boyfriends has lived or mooched off my wife and I till I seriously think I would be better off alone. I'm over this junk !
Sorry for dumping on everyone!

Junkie adult kids are the devil. We moved one in a few times but that kind of help isn't help with drug addicts. They use people and take advantage. We eventually made the decision together to kick the little turd out. He was disrespectful and angry and just impossible to deal with. We had to eventually admit he is my child but not A CHILD anymore. He is a grown man who wont stay clean and is just here to fill his tummy. Then he goes crying to other people how we throw him out and yell at him and are such horrible parents. Ungrateful little rat. I love him but he is a toxic, drug addicted man baby who isn't ready to clean up his act. Hopefully your wife will soon be able to separate the little girl in her heart from the junkie adult woman she has become. It's ok to turn away a drug addict you love, and to love them while hating and not supporting their behavior.

 

[Elsveta641]

I've often wondered if Barney might be kin to Angelina with those lips?
Guess there's nothing wrong with playing a little dress up as long as the kids don't get to see the whips and chains, or start using them on each other.

I think I need to clarify that I am a costume maker and he let's me dress him up for the renaissance faire and comicon etc

 

[EggWalrus]

I think I need to clarify that I am a costume maker and he let's me dress him up for the renaissance faire and comicon etc

Oooohhhh! ok!
I thought you were dressing him up, chaining him up in the coop and letting the chickens take turns on his toes.

 

[BreanneRN]

This thread makes me sad. Doesn't anyone have a good marriage anymore? My husband kicks ass. He was only 19 when we got married and I already had a child from a high school relationship. He said a child deserves a real house and a father. He married me and bought us a house. He let's me dress him up as Jack Sparrow and he thinks I'm adorable even though I look like Barney Fife. Come on I know some of ya'll have a good marriage?

The OP has a good marriage! I believe she said 23 years! That is success! She is just venting, which is a way to defuse anger and frustration that happens in every relationship. It is a positive coping mechanism and she has used this thread as a way to alleviate the frustration and not take it out on her husband, coming here instead, for support. In most successful marriages, you tolerate a lot, and save the confrontations for the really serious stuff (called picking your battles), but you still need to let off steam, and that is what is happening here. Humor is also a way to alleviate stress/anger/frustration and it is also a healthy coping mechanism. So lighten up everybody, and have some fun here!

 

[cmom]

I'm sorry if I am grumpy this evening, but I have finally admitted to myself that my wife has Alzheimer's. I've seen the signs for several years now but was in denial. Three of my grandparents, and my mother all died from Alzheimers. She just did a week in a medical induced coma from copd and sepsis. Since she has gotten out of hospital she is meaner than a rattlesnake. And no matter what I do for her, it's not enough or I'm just completely wrong. My Evil Stepdaughter (who inherited 1.2 M and blew it on drugs within 2 years and has moved in with us again) has convinced her that I'm trying to make her think she's crazy so the stepdaughter can get another inheritance. 5 years ago my wife wouldn't piss on her daughter if she was on fire because she is such a junky POS. Now that she's lost her mind she moved the junky in and I moved out to the farm. Wife calls me nearly everyday with money or medicine missing, but she is in a demented fantasy world in which the junky POS daughter can do no wrong and I am to blame for everything. If it was just 20+ years of marriage I could take it. But the last 15, the thieving junky whore and her various mentally ill boyfriends has lived or mooched off my wife and I till I seriously think I would be better off alone. I'm over this junk !
Sorry for dumping on everyone!

I can feel you pain. My hubby had a couple of kids from a previous marriage. We got together when the kids were very young after he divorced, and moved to Florida where we met. I loved those kids. One is good and one is a drug addict who is 53 years old. She has been in and out of jail. We have an apartment we had let her stay in and she was bringing her drug addict friends. When the police started coming around looking for her I evicted her legally. When she got out of prison we bought her a car and I let her stay for 6 months and then she had to get out. Things were missing like my egg money. I finally put cameras up. Hubby insisted it had to be someone else until I got her on video several times stealing from us. We went through some real tough times. Hubby still stands by her but also realizes she has problems. She did move to another town about an hour away. When she was younger, we paid for her to go to culinary school, what she wanted, but she doesn't last long at any job and usually according to her she quits her jobs for this reason or another. She never gets fired and it's always someone else's fault. She has filed some workman's comps in the past and has gotten several thousands of dollars each time which she went through pretty fast. She totaled the car (drunk and probably after her crack) and spent another year in jail (VOP). She is now out on probation but recently lost her job of a few months (layed off according to her). The other daughter went to collage and put her self through a 4 year program and is now a CPA. I don't tell people all of this but I wanted you to know I feel for what you are going through.

 

[MROO]

My hubby has Alzheimer's. He was a great help with my chickens in the past. This is my first year without them. I find that I'm not missing them as much as I thought I would.

That's 'cause you have BYC! You get to enjoy all the peeps and pictures without the stress of worrying about what's gonna get into the run, next. And when there's a problem, you can lend everyone your sage advice ... then turn off the computer and enjoy a cup of tea/coffee/beverage of choice!

 

[MROO]

The OP has a good marriage! I believe she said 23 years! That is success! She is just venting, which is a way to defuse anger and frustration that happens in every relationship. It is a positive coping mechanism and she has used this thread as a way to alleviate the frustration and not take it out on her husband, coming here instead, for support. In most successful marriages, you tolerate a lot, and save the confrontations for the really serious stuff (called picking your battles), but you still need to let off steam, and that is what is happening here. Humor is also a way to alleviate stress/anger/frustration and it is also a healthy coping mechanism. So lighten up everybody, and have some fun here!

My vote is still with putting eggs in his shoes!