Anna's Artists Chat Thread

[Amer]

I added some suggestions in bold. Though they may be unhelpful since I don’t know how to do show-not-tell.

Spoiler:

You could add something here to show Peregrine’s surprise, like “his eyes widened as his mind struggled to grasp this new reality” or you could add it after.


You could put a transition like “he took a breath and began to sing” right here.


Gia’s hammock?? The cloak and Gia? Gia’s gurney?

A burden? An inconvenience? An incompetent companion?

Put the ending quotation mark and make a new paragraph?

Thanks! These are helpful! They clear up some clunky spots.

I like Pearl, despite her jerk-ish tendencies.

Sweet

 

[Amer]

My mother’s Ancona is just so pretty I had to share. She’s being shown tomorrow.

 

[Amer]

Show birds at the Coullee show. (They belong to other people.) The Wyandottes are actually in an auction. I put down 30.00 just to raise the stakes, knowing 30.00 is not enough for four birds.

 

[Sapphire Sebright]

Show birds at the Coullee show. (They View attachment 2704214View attachment 2704215View attachment 2704220View attachment 2704222View attachment 2704223View attachment 2704224View attachment 2704225View attachment 2704227View attachment 2704229View attachment 2704230View attachment 2704231View attachment 2704232View attachment 2704233View attachment 2704234View attachment 2704235belong to other people.) The Wyandottes are actually in an auction. I put down 30.0 just to raise the stakes, knowing 30.00 is not enough for four birds.

GIVE ME ALL OF THEM.