Another "Need Advice with this Friend" Thread

[Laurajean]

Yeah, I know, someone is always on here asking for various "How should I handle this?" stuff. But it's such a good place to get unbiased opinions from people who aren't involved!!

So my dad's wife has a sister (who I know only a little and am friendly with) who makes her own jewelry. Beaded earrings, necklaces, stuff like that. I don't really wear much jewelry these days, being more around the house with animals, etc. But I was under the impression from many things that she has said that she is struggling. She's a single mother with several kids, and I know for a fact that my dad's wife has "helped her out" before, with bills, etc. So when she said she made jewelry to sell, I thought it would be a nice way to help support her, buy a few pieces of jewelry. My first mistake was mentioning that I'd like to buy some jewelry before I saw her prices, because I almost died when I saw how expensive it was. But I was honest and said "Gee, looks like I'll have to wait a bit until I have some spare cash, but then I will decide on what to order". She said that's no problem.

Now: The other day she posted a picture of a Louis Vuitton designer bag that she got on Facebook. She posted that she "got a deal" and it was only $600.00. I called up my dad's wife and asked if her sister really spent $600 on this bag and she said yes, that she was with her when she got it. So now I'm kind of stunned. I am poor myself. As it was I almost died when I saw how pricey her jewelry was, but decided to splurge MAINLY to help her livelihood because I thought she is a struggling single mother. But six hundred dollars for a purse? That's a LOT of money to me! I can't imagine the extra bills I could pay with that, or other things that I desperately need. With that money I could fix my vehicle which is currently out of commission. I'm just peeved that here I am ready to spend money I don't really have trying to help someone else, and now I see she's blowing $600 on a stupid designer bag?

So the question is; what do I do now?

A) buy the jewelry anyway because I said I would
B) blow off buying the jewelry and never mention it again
C) don't buy the jewelry but tell her why
D) other??

 

[Glenmar]

I vote B.

 

[SarahFair]

I never really understood buying $600 purses (unless you have millions of dollars and its your job to look good)
Unless shes going to Resell it for profit then ...

What was the tone of your dads wife when she answered yes?

...and I would say
B

 

[Randy]

B If she's got that kind of money to blow on a purse she doesn't need your money.

 

[Orchid]

This just goes to show that one person's version of "broke" is never the same as another person's.

I vote B unless she asks you about it again, and then C.

 

[bt03]

$600

That is 2 months of rent for me! I vote for option B... If she has enough money for a $600 purse then she has enough money for bills and you don't need to help her support dumb habits like shopping sprees.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Good question, but it's hard to say. She is Indonesian, and so I speak Indonesian mostly when speaking to her, because her English is hard to understand. In Indonesian tones are very different than in English, and I do not yet understand the tone of what's being said, because I am too busy trying to follow the language and speak it properly in return. So I really couldn't tell the tone. I didn't tell her why I was asking, so she just innocently answered. I don't know if the same thing occurred to her or not, having helped her sister before with rent, and then seeing her buy this purse. So I don't really know what my dad's wife thought about the whole thing.

 

[the Pollo Loco]

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB did I mention B

 

[Wifezilla]

I vote B unless she asks you about it again, and then C.

 

[ChicksterJo]

I say B! If she brings it up, just say that you don't have cash with you or that you don't have extra spending money for things like that.

My mother knows some people who would pay a lot for purses. Even though they are RN's they spend a lot of money on rent, they use up their credit cards on everything, they buy houses that cost them $4000/month but they make $65/hour?? Anyway I make jewelry and my prices are not jaw-droppingly high. Maybe I price my products too low, I don't know. I'll make something in sterling silver and people would complain about sterling silver earrings with Swarovski crystals for about $10.