Another person whose gonna rant....

[Alicia G]

WARNING A CERTIFIED NUTCASE IS BOUT TO RANT!!!

Well here I go, Ive never done this before.....I have had one heck of a ride in the living department. Found out my brother was autistic in 2003, lost my house in 2004, was told I had ADHD in 2005. 2007 my father whom I was very close passed away at 39, as well as finding out I had Fybromyalga. 2008 I got a break off that year

.2009/2010 I became ill and ended up having to drop out of school. In July of 2010 I was told I was legally blind, macular degeneration (though I secretly had known for a while). At this point I felt overwhelmed, having to care for my Younger Autistic brother while my mother working full time wasn't at home. I have been trying so hard to be a good sister, to care for my younger brother, to keep the house clean, do the dishes, cook, etc etc. Now my little brother Idolized my Twin brother, who has some less then proper habits. I had scolded him for some of these habits from time to time. Today he had said something to a dear friend of mine, and it was very hurtful. I had told him not to say such mean things. He later went to start again, and this time taking it too far. Now you need to understand, my little brother is considered 'high functioning' autistic. This means he can carry on full conversations(though he has his moments), do everyday tasks and even learn successfully in school. He understands right and wrong. Anyway, I thought that I should tell my mother that he had been quite rude, even hurtful to my friend and that I had scolded him about it. She snapped at me and said, "well! we bent over backwards for your friend! So why would you scold him for thinking something that is true!".
I said "But I had told him earlier not to do so, yet he did it again. I think that we should all work harder to teach him not to say mean things". She then told me that I was being the rude one for scolding him. I disagreed. The she chose some very 'colorful' words and told me that I was being selfish and lazy and that maybe I should just leave.I don't think she meant everything she said, but it still hurt.I had tried so hard to be a good sister, a good daughter, I didn't need that.....

I know I have my days, where I feel like I want to scream at the top of my lungs at someone, but when it happens to you, it hurts. I love my mother, and I know she loves me, so I know we will get pass this..

Well, that's the end of my rant... Whose next?

 

[turney31]

 

[ChicksterJo]

Very hard to please everyone and sometimes the right words just don't come out.

Don't beat yourself up too much over it. Go and do something just by yourself, whatever you like to do, and clear your head.

 

[sfw2]

 

[redhen]

So sorry that life is so hard for you right now...

 

[silkieroo]

 

[MamaRoo]

Maybe it is time for you to leave?

Not being snarky, are you old enough to move out, and, if so, maybe it's time to start thinking about it.

 

[Ksane]

I agree with MamaRoo. You, of all people, deserve to be just a little selfish finally and do what you need to do for YOU. You seem to feel overly responsible for things that aren't your fault and are out of your control. Your brother and what your mom's going through is not your fault and you shouldn't have to pay for it. Be selfish, it's your peace of mind at stake.

 

[Alicia G]

Thanks everyone for all your kind words. I am old enough to leave, and I will some time, but for the moment, I think I'm needed here.

Plus I need to get a job, a task in its self hard as not very many employers want a legally blind kid working for them. But I know I'll get through it someday.

 

[MamaRoo]

Quote:
I think this may be the issue, in a very confused, roundabout way.

I think, if I were in the position of your mother, that I would feel guilty that my child had to take on responsibilities that should be mine. If you aren't ready to leave the house, can you get a job, and start paying a little bit towards rent, just to start establishing yourself as an adult, not a child? Maybe start making an effort to communicate with your mom about what you do with your brother in terms of trying to help prepare him for adulthood (teaching manners, for example). Ask her opinion "I did... do you think that was the proper way to handle it?" so she feels like she's still in control.

The longer you stay, as you get closer to adulthood, the more conflicts you'll have with your mom, until you've finally shifted all the way into adulthood and she can see you differently. It's a very difficult path you're choosing. Just try to remember that you are actively choosing it and you aren't compelled to stay; it might make conflicts a little easier to deal with.