I am in the same boat. my Dh works for a construction company and gets laid off ever winter when work is super slow. during the summer and fall we do ok on just his paycheck but once he is laid off things are real tight around here.
we are at the end of the season already and his hours have dropped dramatically and we are already beginning to feel the pinch.
before I had my third son, I was working full time at a mine as a first responder / security officer, made good money but I was gone 16 hours a day 6 days a week. I left before the kids woke up and got home after the kids had gone to bed. I never saw them. when we decided on another baby, the intention was for me to go back to work right away but after a huge ice storm at 8 months pregnant and being stuck on the company bus as it slid down a 100ft hill backwards I asked to be placed on sick leave for the rest of my maternity for safety issues as I nearly went into labour on the bus.
I had my son and here in canada we get a year of maternity leave, I did tell my employer I was only taking a few months off but when the time came I told them I was taking my full year, that I was enjoying being at home with my children. the year went by really quickly and the day I had to go back to work I got dressed, made my lunch, and drove to get on the company bus, funny enough it began to snow heavily and then rain, everything turned into a sheet of ice. everyone got on the bus and I stood back, the bus driver kept asking me if I was getting on and I just stood there and I finally told him no, was going home.
the whole way home I was asking myself what in the world was I doing??????? the job was great, it paid great, they paid for all the training I needed and more. but I just couldn't do it. the drive home usually takes me 10 minutes, the weather conditions made it real hard to drive and it literally took me almost 45 minutes. When I walked into the house my DH didn't say anything, he just asked me if I wanted a tea. a couple hours later I heard the bus was in an accident on that same hill, it slid into the cables, cables snapped off and the bus went head first into the bush. no real injuries. but it made me think of a few years prior just before xmas when the bus flew off the road at 60 miles per hour smashing into a 20 ft ditch and then smashing trees int its path like toothpicks. I was in that bus, and out of 50 something people only 2 serious injuries..I was one of them. I was pinned between the heater and the steel bars under the seats, my legs were black from the knees down for over a month, nothing broke and I was able to walk a week later, and suffered nerve damage on one of my legs.
not getting on that bus made me into a stay at home mom, Dh got a job at
walmart making 2 times less what I made in one month. but we made it work, a year later he got his construction job. Every winter I feel guilty and I want to go get a job, something pat time just to make a little extra but I know as soon as summer comes I will have to quit. and every time I mention getting a job my DD tells me I can't because she needs me home. she remembers me not being around very much, and always tells me she would miss me too much.
so yes I feel guilt, and I want to do more for my family. not getting on that bus that day was a good decision and not just because I avoided a second bus accident but because it made me realize that my family needed me a whole lot more than what I thought.
So be glad you are married to a real man, not an overgrown 5 year old! Having to do all your animal/family chores on top of your 10+ hour work day really blows, and I don't even have human kids!!! Why do you think it takes me 3-4 months to build a coop that I could put together in 2-3 days IF I had the time? You got it! By working outside the home, alot of the "extra" income gets spent on fast food or eating out, coz I'm simply too pooped to cook when I get home, and quite frankly too hungry to wait 2 hours on homeade food to cook. Working actually costs money, it only helps if you make more than you spend.
