I believe the people (and pets) most important to us are always with us, even after they're gone. That love really is something tangible— it's why we physically feel heartbreak. I believe that love is a thread for our loved ones to follow back to us when they want to.
I recently lost my special girl, my flock's lead hen, Aliss, to a dog bite. It's been a little over a month now and I still miss her, I still occasionally feel that heartache, but it has gotten easier to deal with. Sometimes I still expect to turn around and see her following me around the yard. Sometimes when I'm crouching I still tense up expecting her bites. It's still weird to not hear her screams for attention (boy, was she a screamer
). When I watch old videos of her sometimes the tears well up still, but mostly I just feel love, and I'm grateful for the single year I had with her. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
A couple weeks after Aliss died, she came to visit me in a dream. Yes, I truly believe she visited me, and I didn't just dream about her because I missed her. She was just going about her business like normal. I think she was telling me goodbye, and that she's just fine where she is now. When we sleep, we're more spiritually open/vulnerable, which is why it's so much easier for loved ones to reach out to us in dreams than as physical manifestations (ghosts/spirits).
I don't know if you believe in that stuff, but maybe if you keep your heart and mind open, your sweet little Bunny will pay you a visit, too.
Let yourself grieve. Take as long as you need. The amount of time it takes to move through the grieving process is different for everybody. Never feel ashamed for it! It will get lighter, it will get easier, the pain will slowly but surely be replaced with comfort. There will always be a hole there, but instead of hurt it will be filled with memory and joy.
Oh! Maybe you could commission someone to knit or crochet you a little Bunny lookalike, so you can snuggle it when you're missing her!
The sadness will diminish a little. You’ll never forget Bunny, but your new chicks will help your heart heal. Until then, take care.
