Anyone have an unconventional upbringing?

[Cetawin]

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Well I am also 1/4 Italian (my mother's father was Italian, the rest all Cherokee) so unfortunately I did have to shave my legs and such, I got the hair from the Italians. LOL. My father and grandfathers never shaved...except when required while in the military. It was funny for them to shave an not have anything to shave really. LOL

 

[#1California Chick]

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VERY wise philosophy!!!!!

 

[#1California Chick]

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YOU take a deep breath and walk away. YOU ask for a break. YOU choose NOT to continue the argument. YOU change the direction of the discussion or exit.

Good Luck!!

Cindy

 

[HennysMom]

#1California Chick :

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YOU take a deep breath and walk away. YOU ask for a break. YOU choose NOT to continue the argument. YOU change the direction of the discussion or exit.

Good Luck!!

Cindy

You took the words right out of my mouth Cindy.

I was reading through all of your posts Xtina and as I did, I sat here and thought the exact same thing - WHY are you letting people goad you into arguments? Everyone has their own opinions and are entitled to them - you have 2 choices - you can walk into the bar fight that has no winner or ..you can walk away and choose NOT to engage. It really is that simple.

You say you dont care what other peoples beliefs and values are (in a good way - not a bad way)- but then you put a spin on it....which is so long as they dont attack your own. Hmmmm- but...those people are just doing it because they can - and arent you doing the same thing then if you engage? If you value your own upbringing, morals and values - then it shouldnt be hard to walk away at all and just say "Hey.. to each his own - you have your ideals and I have mine - I respect that - salute!" Raise a glass and end it there. Its when you draw yourself in that you not only disrespect the other person, but you disrespect yourself (and each others values/morals) - and vice versa.

You argued with your DH over something someone else said? Now where does that leave you? You're getting pulled into areas that are now affecting YOUR values.... think about it.

But thats just my opinion..which doesnt really matter that much anyway.

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

lets see

In my neighborhood my parents were the only ones that divorced.

We had the most land and didnt use it for plush lawns and pools. we had veggie gardens and horses etc.
I was taught by both my parents that "we" ie humans were given the gift to take care of the land and all the animals and plants. And that we should respect the earth and every one and thing on it. My cousin is the same way. And both my aunts are big on nature and animals etc. So that must have come from my grandparents.

Neither parent was a hippie. Or a tree hugger. They were just raised to respect nature.

I was also raised, well I had no choice really.. to believe in, and respect the spirit world.

I was raised to respect my others and their property. I am in my late 30s and am amazed by how many other people my age dont have that respect. Including the neighbors I grew up with. There are a bunch of us all within about 5 years, older and younger, of each other.


My daughter will be "different" as well. Most of her classmates have brothers and sisters. She is an only. Most of her classmates have a dog or a cat, maybe some other small pet. We have a dog, cats, rabbits, the chickens and the horse. She considers THEM her family. We celebrate Christmas, Chanaka(sp), Solstice etc.
We tell each other we love each other. We dont "fight", or smoke or drink. Neither of us has ever done drugs. well the dh smoked weed once.

I am older than most of her friends moms. Oh and since I have one kid. I dont drive a mini van or a huge SUV. And I dont push my kid or over schedule her.

So around here. We are the "odd" family. But I would rather that than be like the other households I have seen and met. *shudder*

 

[ursusarctosana]

I grew up thinking refrigerator cookies were called sh** cookies.
Instead of human friends, I had animal friends.
My playground was the national forest.
My favorite activities involved a microscope and a pond.
I swam with frogs in an outdoor bathtub.
I drew picture stories on reams of discarded military computer paper.
My grandmother read to me every night.
We didn't have electricity, running water, or a telephone.
I've never smoked marijuana or even tried illegal drugs.
I've lived within the boundaries of southeast Asian culture (especially Thai/Lao) since I was about fourteen.

 

[tgcole]

What an interesting thread!

I spent 2 careers working with people in crisis. I was a State Trooper for 25 years and worked at a child abuse center for 10. I've seen people at their best and at their worst.

Now, I raise chickens......much more fun.

Upbringing has a profound effect on children. Not necessarily what the parents believe, but if they really love their children. With love, kids can survive a multitude of hardships.

I've seen children from the absolute worst of homes who somehow survived and went on to have successful lives. They usually had someone (teacher, mentor, grandparent, etc) who met their emotional needs.

I've seen other children from the best of families who were determined to destroy themselves no matter how many opportunities and rescuers they had.

We maintained our sanity by offering those hurting children a lifeline. But we learned pretty quickly, they had to grab the line.....you couldn't hold on for them.

As for conflict, a very wise old man told me not to bother correcting grown ups, as they would just resent it and not pay any attention anyway.

So much for philosophy, I have to go collect eggs.........

Greg

 

[frankenchick]

When someone gets hot because we don't agree, I step back and say (sincerely): I see that we don't agree. I am so proud to live in a country where people are allowed to have their own ideas, aren't you?

My son is convinced that he lives in an unconventional home: We expect everyone to be home for dinner. We expect to get a phone call when he goes somewhere. We expect him to show respect for elders. We insist that he changes his clothes daily. We expect/demand help with the chores. We don't believe that kids need TV/video games to develop properly. (I think you get the picture) So many kids in our community are allowed to run like wild animals.

 

[HorseFeathers]

Ummm.... My mom had breast cancer when I was very young, so I grew up eating really healthy foods. Then I lived on a boat. Does that count?

 

[random]

i would love to know what constitutes for a "normal" life or even a "normal" upbringing for that matter...if u ask me i think every1 has a little bit of weird behind them...and those that dont, or say they dont, are weird! lol no-one ever knows if their parenting is "correct" or "the right way" so they just keep doing what theyre doin...just as i am now with my lil ones...i take what my parents did with a grain of salt and keep what i thot worked for me and discard that which i didnt like...but if every1 had the same upbringing we wouldnt have interesting ppl and no 1 would learn new things...4 example...my eldest bro is a devout christian...never smoked, drugs, drinking, swearing...the works...my youngest bro isnt into religion atall but still no drugs or smoking...though he does drink (not excessivly just normally...whatever that is) however me...i have some beliefs, ive taken drugs, smoked, gotten drunk and all the rest...now ive learnt atlot from my experiences...and ive grown up cuz of them! my parents didnt really teach us to be adults...we were spoilt and they did all for us, so as a result my bros have not grown up, live at home have crappy jobs and no great relationship...i mean g/f, parents/siblings...all relationships....however i have a house a car...no job cuz im raising 2 under 3's and a wonderful husband that has a great job whom i have a great relationship with his family...so of us 3 which has a "normal" life? we all had the same upbringing...kinda normal kinda weird with a divorce and moving and whatever...but who says my life isnt normal and urs is?

its not how u were raised exactly but what u do with the lessons and teachings of ur parents that determine if ur actually "normal"...not the life itself....no one is normal!
b.t.w im only 23 and so ive got lots more to learn and experience