This thread has been so enlightening, on so many levels. the thing that impresses me most is that there are many things that have been rolling around in the back of my mind as to why I have turned away from 'religion', but I could never clarify many of them. Some of you have done that for me here. Thank you so much.
As for all the questions that Deb has asked us, I can hardly keep up with all the answers that come to mind, and don't have the time or the typing ability to present all these thoughts. I'd go on for days if I tried, LOL.
But, I have to say that there wasn't one book or event that changed my mind, but a long series of things. The first one I can think of was after my Grandpa passed away. My Dad's Dad, a typical Dutchman, conservative, strict, religious, taciturn, and followed the word of the Church ...well, religiously. I was 15, I loved him with all my heart, and tried to please him, and Grandma all the time.
Pa had colon cancer, and was sick for a long time, died a horrible death, and most of their money was spent on his care. Grandma developed pneumonia shortly after Pa died and was bedbound for a few weeks. As I was on a holiday from school, I went to stay there and "take care" of her. I think that consisted of making sure she had breakfast, lunch and dinner and tea in the afternoons, and took her meds. She was terribly ill, and grieving her husband.
After she had been sick for a few weeks, she received a visit from two of the deacons (Dominae) of her Christian Reformed Church. I was glad to see them, she had been worried about missing church for more than a few sundays and I was sure that their visit would cheer her up. I brought the dining room chairs into the bedroom and set them by the bed, made some tea and got out the windmill cookies. It was while I was serving them that I heard them say to her "Dora, we have to talk to you about your tithes. It's been several weeks since you have given, and you're very much behind. We would like to know when we can expect you to make them up and begin paying again." Grandma tried hard to not cry, but I saw a few tears escape from the corners of her eyes. She explained about Pa (and you know, every time I ever thought about this, I could never remember either of them saying to her that they were sorry about her loss) and she told them about being sick and needing medicine. One of them said "Yes Dora, but you pledged your 10% and haven't paid it" and he never got any further. I grabbed the plate of cookies away, handed him his hat and said "You get out of this house right now, and don't ever come back here again!!!" I was so angry that I could hardly stand it, but all I could hear was that these two Christian men were here to harrass Grandma for money at a time when she had none. I told them "I always thought that Jesus taught love and compassion, and was of the opinion that the Church was here for the people. Now I see that this was a lie. Get out!" Of course, Grandma had been so indoctrinated by the Church that now she was crying because she was frightened of what the Dominae would say when they went back to see the other deacons and maybe they wouldn't let her come back to church. For me that was the start.
Later, I found that my Native heritage offered me so many more reasonable and rational explanations on creation, the hereafter, the Spirits and morals in general that I wondered why we had always been the ones called "Heathen".
There's much more that i could say, but for now I just want to thank you all for giving me an open minded forum where I can see how the things that I think are validated after all.
