Anyone not able to have Children?

[crazyfarmer]

I did a search for threads like this but they were old and really wasnt what i was thinking. So i wanted to start a new one for those of us that there is NO possible way of getting pregnant. Those of us who have had hysterectomys or Cancer or anything like it.

At 25 i had a hysterectomy before i had any kids. My whole life i dreamed of having children but life had other plans for me. Would love to hear your experiances and support one another if its possible.

 

[nikki1]

I did a search for threads like this but they were old and really wasnt what i was thinking. So i wanted to start a new one for those of us that there is NO possible way of getting pregnant. Those of us who have had hysterectomys or Cancer or anything like it.

At 25 i had a hysterectomy before i had any kids. My whole life i dreamed of having children but life had other plans for me. Would love to hear your experiances and support one another if its possible.

Okay, so I don't fit your profile, but I wanted to offer my support. While I have 2 children now, I had 11 years of thinking it wouldn't be possible, so I know the battle. I've heard that depression is more common among people experiencing infertility than in those fighting cancer, and I believe it!

I'm glad you're setting up a way for you to support each other, since most people just don't get it.
--Nikki

 

[sourland]

My daughter in law is unable to have children due to similar circumstances. She was certain that no 'man' would want her because of the fact, then she met my persistent son. His outlook was, "There is more than one way to have a family." They have adopted two girls from China and have made my wife and I very proud grandparents. There are a lot of kids out there that need homes and love. I wish you fulfillment and happiness as you construct your life.

 

[crazyfarmer]

Okay, so I don't fit your profile, but I wanted to offer my support. While I have 2 children now, I had 11 years of thinking it wouldn't be possible, so I know the battle. I've heard that depression is more common among people experiencing infertility than in those fighting cancer, and I believe it!

I'm glad you're setting up a way for you to support each other, since most people just don't get it.
--Nikki

Yeah alot of people think well just go out and adopt. NOT that easy. Then theres people like become a foster parent. You aint puttin a kid in my care then takin it back. I cant do that . Im just glad that there are people that DO get it. And I hope this thread will be a place where no one judges or says things like this because it hurts. I wish i could just go out and adopt a child. Its just not that easy or anyone could do it. Thanks for the support and feel free to join in the discussion. No matter what is wrong or what you think is wrong still hurts the same. The ability not to have a child is heartbreaking. I know I wanted to seriously give up and die when it happened to me. Thankfully ive been getting help to deal with it for the last 8 years or i probley would have taken my life. So yes everyone if you need to talk about this please do. I know the pain and i want to reach out and help all that i can.

 

[crazyfarmer]

My daughter in law is unable to have children due to similar circumstances. She was certain that no 'man' would want her because of the fact, then she met my persistent son. His outlook was, "There is more than one way to have a family." They have adopted two girls from China and have made my wife and I very proud grandparents. There are a lot of kids out there that need homes and love. I wish you fulfillment and happiness as you construct your life.

I also wanted to comment on your post as I felt similar. That no man will ever want me. I am single. However i learned to accept that and it doesnt bother me anymore. Im glad that she found someone and has a family.

 

[nikki1]

Yeah alot of people think well just go out and adopt. NOT that easy. Then theres people like become a foster parent. You aint puttin a kid in my care then takin it back. I cant do that . Im just glad that there are people that DO get it. And I hope this thread will be a place where no one judges or says things like this because it hurts. I wish i could just go out and adopt a child. Its just not that easy or anyone could do it. Thanks for the support and feel free to join in the discussion. No matter what is wrong or what you think is wrong still hurts the same. The ability not to have a child is heartbreaking. I know I wanted to seriously give up and die when it happened to me. Thankfully ive been getting help to deal with it for the last 8 years or i probley would have taken my life. So yes everyone if you need to talk about this please do. I know the pain and i want to reach out and help all that i can.

Oh, yeah, the phrase "just adopt" carries with it so much ignorance it makes me want to smack people. Gone are the days you walk into an orphanage and come out with a baby. Adopting was the most difficult thing my husband and I have ever done. When we bought our first house 2 years ago, the realtor kept waiting for us to freak out at various points in a complicated short sale. Nope, never happened! After adopting, it was a piece of cake!

Love my boy! He was SO worth it, and I'd do it again 10 times over to get him, but there's nothing simple about it.

 

[oldrooster]

Quote: My father could relate if he where alive he grew up with parents who took in foster kids,some for abuse/prison etc... but many in the era he grew up in they lost everything due to the depression and shortages of jobs then and soon after and they gave the kids over to the county so the kids could be fed, clothed and schooled while they tried to get their lives together, and he got to be attached to some of these kids early on, and then they went back to their families it hurt him so he wouldn't hardly even speak to them or do much with them because he didn't want to learn to love them as family and then be ripped away. That being said there are some kids in the foster care system the agencies can pretty well tell some of them will never be sent back home because of the issues there. so you might look into it after talking to foster parents in your area so you foster some kids who will spend their lives in the foster program....

 

[KKs Kandies]

praying for you and those going through similar issues.

 

[warmheart]

May this thread bring in others who can offer you a sense of support in going through this. I'm wishing you strength, and greater understanding from those around you. Prayers are on the way for you, and for your situation.

I'm bumping your thread up for more exposure.

 

[MeatKing]

This topic always makes me really sad, I have no idea of the pain you feel. But I do pray, that things will work out.
My sister and her husband, can't have children. I know it makes her sad some days, but other days, I know she is now in a very happy place.
I hope everyone in this postion, can find a happy place.