Anyone ready to ring in the new year...and lose weight/get fit?

[vfem]

If its not one family thing its 3! I know how you all feed... but I didn't go eating like crazy (though chocolate would have helped, and I challenge anyone who says it wouldn't)!

I did the worst thing EVER recently... my family has driven me to start smoking again.

I quit in May 2009, and just picked it back up a couple of weeks ago. Its so hard to find the strength to stop again already!

Why did I fall into this blight!?

Friday, hubby gets a pay check (we've gone through unemployement with my ENTIRE family for a year to a year and half now). So I'm hoping friday to buy me the gum and go back that route again. Either that or shoot my sister, mom and brother....

Either way, I can't believe I let those people effect me!

Today alone I wanted to get the gun out. To think, I wake up with my daughter and a smile until the phone rings to shatter the joy.

Anyways, I really really really should have come here and talked I guess rather then bottling it up... but I reacting without reacting, and made dumb thoughtless decisions. So I want you all to know, if you need to blow up or something is bothering you and you want to break... contact ANYONE who's been in this thread because we all understand. PM as soon as you need help. Or post here if you need it RIGHT away. The moment of peace is too short them days/weeks of regret that may follow... and we all shouldn't regret.

Everyone is doing soooooooooooooooo good... so don't beat yourselves up. Family is just....

(I need a ripping my hair out smiley!!! Putting in a demand for one now! LOL )

 

[3goodeggs]

I pm-ed you

 

[MyKidLuvsGreenEgz]

Thanks for the suggestions. I've done the self-hypnosis and subliminal tapes and neither impacted me for smoking, weight-loss, procrastination, or sleeping. Will look into it again.

It's just so frustrating. I'd lost so much weight, was looking really good, off my high blood pressure meds, not pre-diabetic any more, and the little sleep I was getting was kinda restful. Then the family thing happened. Ok... I went back to my hometown where I saw many of my family members I hadn't seen in a very long time, and I instantly reverted to a 12 year old girl with pigtails and braces. Just like back then, no one wanted to hear what I had to say, or be with me. My own sisters ignored me. My best friend droned on and on about how wonderful her abusive boyfriend was but couldn't listen to me for 5 minutes. And my mother, well, at least she wasn't the terror she was when I was young; at her age, she's too frail to do the same things but that mouth on her... Oy! Only my father and his wife listened to me when I broke down in tears the morning we were packing to come back home.

During that same trip, I found out something about my husband. All of that combined ... well, I immediately started eating again, and haven't stopped since.

Don't you think, like I do, that if I could just get a good night of sleep, without songs playing over and over in my head, or thinking about everything I worry about, or listening for the sounds of chicken massacre, or whatever ... if I could just get a long restful night of sleep ... I could handle anything. I would have the strength to eat healthy, and the motivation to cook something instead of eating peanut butter and pickle sandwich like I had for dinner tonight. I I would be more focused, and energetic, and WANT to get on that exercycle.

Do you ever feel that way?

I gotta find that zone. I've got lots of chicks coming, hopefully baby goats to be born next month, a new but bashful boy goat to acclimate, a few e-books to write and upload, and money to make so we can fence off our property. Can't do these if I can't find that zone.

VFem: I gave up smoking when I got pregnant with my son (now 14), and started again about 7 years ago but ran into major money problems and decided I would rather spend the money on food for my kid. It took a while, but for months I limited myself one cigarette every other day which gave me a "fix". Took about 4 months but finally got off of them. You can do it. Yeah, I still crave every day, but it's been a little over 4 years this time since I've smoked.

Is this TMI?

Okay, I just took 2 sleeping pills and my vitamins. Time to hit the hay. Ew, I mean go to bed (in this forum, hitting the hay means exactly what it says!).

Thanks for the support.

 

[annaraven]

Quote:
Hope the dosage is 2 pills.

You might also want to try a calming music tape. Or, I used to use Moody Blues Days of Future Passed. For some reason, going through the "day" with the music helped me to wind down and let go of things so I could sleep.

Don't worry about TMI. We're here for you.

Don't punish yourself over what idiots your "family" are. Just remember, the most important person who needs to love you is you. And you deserve to be loved. You deserve to take care of yourself.

Hope you're able to get some rest.

 

[elizabethbinary]

Quote:
I did, though I'm not sure it's what caused my bad sleep. I do remember that once his words started clicking with me mentally I was able to sleep. And now I sleep a solid 9 hours a night, every night. I sometimes wake up when I'm sick. And I had not slept a 9 hour night in about 15 years before then. I was averaging 3 1/2.

It took about 3 weeks to work though, every single night, on repeat. 25ish minute tapes and the first week took 3 plays. The second took 2 plays. The third took 1 play and by the end I was sleeping before the 2nd chime 32 seconds in. It takes a little bit of dedication, but I figured what did I have to lose...sleep?


Edit: Actually I now have the opposite problem!! Once I start falling asleep that is IT. Put me to bed and I'm a rock. I have to be carried to bed more than one night a week. and since it's 9 hours on the dot I kinda better hope I don't fall asleep at like 8.

 

[3goodeggs]

what is TMI? is it like PTSD?

 

[mom'sfolly]

Don't you hate that being around family can make you revert to that snotty twelve year old in 30 seconds flat? My mom is someone who has difficulty being pleasant for more than a single conversation, and there is a reason I live 3000 miles away. I understand how stress can make you do things you'd rather not.

I hate the nights that my brain won't shut up. It is so difficult to sleep. I won't say this will work for you, but it did for a family member. She hadn't slept well in about 30 years, had restless nights, constant dialog in her head and unrestful sleep when she did sleep. She had tried OTC meds, prescription sleep meds, and other things. A couple of years ago she was put on a low dose antidepressant. It stoped the constant dialog in her head, and allowed her to sleep for the first time in decades. She really didn't have any other symtoms of depression, just constant insomnia. She said just being able to get regular sleep made life so much better.

 

[babymakes6]

Quote:
Too much information.

 

[MyKidLuvsGreenEgz]

tmi = too much information

I moved far away from "home" when I was 17 ... my mother was 95% of that reason. I did see her this last trip, but didn't tell her that that would be the last time. I just can't go back any more. If my sisters or cousins or father/stepmom want to see me, they need to come halfway across the country. My mental health is much more important. And I don't want to be that shy 12 year old again. Basically, I have to "grow up" again, and this time squeeze 30 years in 30 days. Ew. Skipping puberty this time, esp since my body is already in menopause!!!

Even with the 2 sleeping pills (1-2 is correct dose) and sleepytime extra tea and relaxing music ... didn't really sleep much last night. seems i'd dose for about 15 minutes and would be up for another 45. all night until finally at 5:15, I said to heck with it and got up.

all night long, whether asleep or awake, the theme song from the old show "all in the family" (archie bunker) ran thru my head. I get a lot of songs stuck in there. Believe me, as much as I love jean stapleton, I really don't need her piercing "edith" voice in my head all night!

haven't eaten yet. instead, got up and found my leftover garden seeds from last year. Set up a table in the front room for seed starting. Today my plan is: (1) write (2) go thru old seeds and see what to start for this year (3) see what I need to order for next year and (4) have a fire in the fireplace because our high is 10 degrees today, with low tonight of neg 10 and (5) get a second brooder coop ready for our chicks.

Joe from Colorado incubated 17 of our eggs and 6 just finished hatching yesterday morning. But we've had so much snow, I can't get them until Friday or Saturday. Really bummed. Plus I have 25 chicks coming from Cackle Hatchery on Friday. So ... I have one brooder coop set up, but need the second set up by Friday.

As far as eating, right now I have a glass of water beside me. I hope to have cereal with berries for brekkie. And I do plan to make rice (for us AND the chickens!). Have a great day, all! I'm gonna give it my best shot.

 

[3goodeggs]

Quote:
Too much information.

I fail texting.

It could have been' tall man injured', or 'terrible mean injustices.'
great.. now i will be working on that all day.
ocd? orally conducive dialogue? our collie dog? overly conscious daughter... oh gee, it's started.