If you need to remove crayon marks from Drywall, a Chainsaw does a good job. If you are a bed wetter, I shouldn't need to tell you where to apply the Duct Tape. If your house is sinking due to Foundation trouble, apply one 2lb. charge of Dynamite 25ft. from each corner to lower the ground level so that nobody notices. If you need a Bull Calf castrated within 3 days, a Weed Hacker does the job very quickly. If you have a sleeping disorder, sow VelCro to the inner armpits and knees of your clothing. If you don't have DeCalf coffee available, you can make it yourself. 6 tablets of Gravol per Cup.