JustAChickenLittle&More :
Ok Xtina, I have the dog for you : Olde English Bulldog. Neutered. I have two of them, they are not neurotic, they don't bark unless they feel the family is threathened in some way, then watch out the short hair stands up. All dogs shed, but they are very short hair. Yes, they are not good outside in the heat during summer for long periods of time. They are loving, playful, and loyal (males must be neutered). They get along great with kids (your grandkids, etc). Of course you will always have your not so well brought up bullies, so you have to watch what your getting. They are funnier than all get out and they really like to mother(father) you.
Oh, I LOVE bulldogs! Sadly, though, they don't meet a qualification I didn't mention...those dogs have the worst BO! It's so bad, that even though I love them and want to pet them, I can't. I can smell it if one of them rubbed against my pants without even bending over. That smell just lingers! I couldn't keep a dog that I can't pet.
Same reason I don't want a Mastiff, apart from the drooling and shedding. It's such a shame too...two of my neighbors have OEBs, and I just love them, but I love them from afar. I still pet them occasionally, but I have to wash my hands immediately. My own dogs are very clean and barely smell at all. I kind of like the way they smell, actually. Their paws smell like corn chips!
But not all breeds shed! Curly and wirehaired dogs don't shed, or if they do it's very, very minimal hair loss.