Best dog breed for me?

I want children, but I want them to be born potty trained. I want them to always be obedient, quiet, and to get good grades in school, not get any childhood diseases, etc.
 
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I would suggest.... a poodle, wheaten terrier, or a kerry blue. Just remember since you want non shedding you're gonna have a big grooming bill... also, porties are very high energy!
 
My rescued yellow lab mix would be perfect for you, except she's 70 lbs and she sheds. Rescuing her was the best decision I ever made! She's the best, and there is absolutely no lab behavior from her. She is very calm, she hates water, and she wants nothing to do with toys, let alone fetch! I guess I just got lucky, but if you looked around at the local pound, I am sure you would find something at least close to what you want. Good luck!
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For the guide dog school as a puppy raiser we were told to teach "No Noise" our lab (unaltered) Jack would STILL bark once if there was something really wrong.

EX: the hose was left running in the yard- her barked at it,
EX2: the water pump was running and running he heard it from inside (300 yrads away) and took us outside (we thought to 'busy') and he went to the back gate (100 yards from the pump) and stared at the pump house- we told him to 'busy' and he looked back at us barked and looked back to the pump hose again.

We had 'excitement at guest' problems but we explained that running/jumping dogs got backs turned on them (the dog) to our guest before they came in and they all understood that our dog was learning a specific set of skills so nobody but one two year old 'rewarded' Jack for misbehaving- so when he came in to great at top speed he'd then sit by himself in hopes of getting petted.

But labs are unsuitable to your list. He Shed... lots.
 
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Canidae. I've always had them on a high grade food, but Max in particular is a big shedder. He looks like he'd shed less because his hair is pretty short (shorter than Marla's anyway) but he's awful. He constantly has tufts coming loose. When I straighten my blankets on the bed, you can see dog hair raining back down when I'm done.

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I get the sarcastic comments that some have made. I really do. People love to be judgmental of others. I just don't think it's necessary. I never said I wanted a perfect dog that would bring me beer from the fridge and never misbehave. On the list, I didn't put that I want a dog who can resist breaking into the garbage, even though my Max has been a lifelong ninja in this regard, able to get the garbage wherever I put it. Because I'm unwilling to crate him, that means that I accept that every time I come home, I will come home to something eaten or broken in the kitchen. I didn't put on my list that I want a dog who can resist a pot roast if I put it on the ground. And you know what? Despite what I want, when I get another dog, I'm going to love it regardless. Acting like I'm some kind of idiot for wanting a good dog that matches my lifestyle and preferences is really unhelpful and makes me wonder why anyone would waste their time being negative and demeaning. I get it; it's the internet and you're anonymous so it's easy to say things exactly how you feel. But really, what's the point.
 
You guys are listing such great breeds! I really do love boxers, but for reasons I can't really articulate, I know they're not the breed for me. But you're really on the right track. Boxers barely shed and they rarely bark. Great with kids, easily trained and respectful of boundaries. I had a neighbor whose boxer sat on the front lawn unfenced and never left the perimeter of the grass, no matter how belligerent my Max acted across the street.

But they do drool and jump a lot. Not deal breakers in the scheme of things. And there's NOTHING cuter than a boxer puppy. I think it's just something about the way they thrash that makes them more of a handful than I can deal with. They're just so "raring to go" all the time, which is a great attitude, but I can't keep up!
 
Yep, I applaud you for putting a lot of thought and learning from your previous experiences into what you want in your next dog. All dog owners know their dogs aren't perfect and they love them anyway, just as you do and will. I thought of poodle when I read your post but I don't have much personal experience with them.
 
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Canidae. I've always had them on a high grade food, but Max in particular is a big shedder. ... Because I'm unwilling to crate him, that means that I accept that every time I come home, I will come home to something eaten or broken in the kitchen. .

Why in the world won't you crate him? It doesn't sound like EITHER of you are happy when you're gone. Crate him and let him relax.

If he's shedding that much, SOMETHING is wrong health-wise. Dogs just don't shed that much if they're healthy. Not the tufts like that. Either he has a thyroid issue or Addisons or he's got a problem absorbing the nutrition in his food or something. Thyroid would be the first thing I'd check, and I'd switch his food and add an oil supplement. You can use Mrs. Allen's Shed Stop or Linatone or just a good mix of oils poured over his food. If that didn't stop it I'd consider Addisons or Cushings. It's also possible that he's screwing himself up somehow by eating garbage, which would also be helped by crating him.
 

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