you can substitute any hair color you wish.
Subject: blond jokes
Two blonds with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter
work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house
siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either
toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you
throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of
my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, and I
throw them away."
Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't
defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
A blond hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of
her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the
emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit
suicide," the blond replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
off your finger?"
"No, Silly, " the blond said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and
then I thought, I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not
shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor. ;> "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I
thought, "I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not
shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my
ear, and I thought: "This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my
finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
A Blondy was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blond, so he
decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail
pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So the blond went
home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing into her
tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still
nothing happened.
Her blond roommate saw her, and asked, "What are you doing?"
The first blond told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow
into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to
roll up the windows first."
Did you hear about the two blonds who froze to death in a drive-in
movie? They had gone to see "Closed for the winter."
A blond goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked
sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blond replies, ; "Early this
morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the
day? Take the day off to relax and rest."
"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it, and
I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blond to work as usual. A couple of
hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blond. He looks out
from his office, and sees the blond crying hysterically.
"What's so bad now? Are you going to be okay?" he asks.
"No", exclaims the blond. "I just received a horrible call from my sister .
Her mother died, too
Subject: blond jokes
Two blonds with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter
work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house
siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either
toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you
throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of
my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, and I
throw them away."
Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't
defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
A blond hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of
her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the
emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit
suicide," the blond replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
off your finger?"
"No, Silly, " the blond said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and
then I thought, I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not
shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor. ;> "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I
thought, "I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not
shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my
ear, and I thought: "This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my
finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
A Blondy was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blond, so he
decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail
pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So the blond went
home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing into her
tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still
nothing happened.
Her blond roommate saw her, and asked, "What are you doing?"
The first blond told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow
into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to
roll up the windows first."
Did you hear about the two blonds who froze to death in a drive-in
movie? They had gone to see "Closed for the winter."
A blond goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked
sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blond replies, ; "Early this
morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the
day? Take the day off to relax and rest."
"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it, and
I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blond to work as usual. A couple of
hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blond. He looks out
from his office, and sees the blond crying hysterically.
"What's so bad now? Are you going to be okay?" he asks.
"No", exclaims the blond. "I just received a horrible call from my sister .
Her mother died, too
