Blond jokes!

[imachickenprincess]

This thread is pretty self explanatory. Please remember to keep all jokes clean. I will start with one of my favorite blond jokes.

A blond went to Vegas. She walked up to a soda machine, put in a dollar, and a coke came out.
She put in another dollar, and another coke came out.
She put in another dollar, and another coke came out.
She put in another dollar, and another coke came out.
Finally a man came up behind her and asked "What are you doing?"
She looked at him in disbelief and said "Winning! Duh!"

 

[imachickenprincess]

Here is another one I think is pretty funny.

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it....
Cop : "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"
Blonde : "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."
Cop : "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"
Blonde : "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on."
At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.
Cop : "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful."
Blonde : "Oh... We just got off of highway 135".

 

[dkosh]

Corn maze for blondes.

 

[imachickenprincess]

funny! I haven't seen that before!

 

[CrystalLovin'CountryChic]

Quote:

lol id be stuck tryin to figure out where da entrance and exit was

 

[onlyme8]

I think these ones are pretty funny:

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn't let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts clapping.

Yep, and I'm a blonde.

 

[mrpekinduck]

Theres a magic cliff, whatever you say as your jumping off is waht you'll turn into. A brunette jumps off and says: owl. She turns into an owl and flys away. A red head says a fish and jumps, she turns into a fish and swims down the river under the cliff. A blonde walks up to the cliff, trips and says: oh crap!

 

[imachickenprincess]

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

 

[mrpekinduck]

I love that!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[mrpekinduck]

Why did the blonde wear a fur coat and a denim jacket while she was painting?

Because on the can it said for best results put on two coats!