Quote:
Yep! I think that is one of the funniest things about them!
Yep! I think that is one of the funniest things about them!
Blond jokes!
- Thread starter imachickenprincess
- Start date
- Jul 10, 2009
- 2,173
- 79
- 299
How do you know if a Blond been using your computer?
There's whiteout on the screen.
(You'd have to be of the typewriter generation to get this one)
There's whiteout on the screen.
(You'd have to be of the typewriter generation to get this one)
Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:
"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,
"I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,
"You dumb blonde you! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:
"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,
"I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,
"You dumb blonde you! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
Quote:
poo.. you stole mine!
two sisters inharit a farm. Well they deside they want to raise their own beef, so the Brunnet sets off with $1,000 to find some cows. She comes across this really nice bull and desides to buy it. She asks the farmer how much and he replies "$999", So she hands the farmer the money and goes off to send her sister a telegram telling her to come pick up this bull. The clerk tells the Brunnet that it will be $1 a word, so the Brunnet thinks long and hard and blerts out "Comfortable!". Puzzled, the clerk looks at her and says "Ma'am, how will your sister know to pick up this bull if you only send her the word 'comfortable'?" the Brunnet just laughs and says "Sir, My sister is a blond, She'll read the word nice and slow!"
poo.. you stole mine!
two sisters inharit a farm. Well they deside they want to raise their own beef, so the Brunnet sets off with $1,000 to find some cows. She comes across this really nice bull and desides to buy it. She asks the farmer how much and he replies "$999", So she hands the farmer the money and goes off to send her sister a telegram telling her to come pick up this bull. The clerk tells the Brunnet that it will be $1 a word, so the Brunnet thinks long and hard and blerts out "Comfortable!". Puzzled, the clerk looks at her and says "Ma'am, how will your sister know to pick up this bull if you only send her the word 'comfortable'?" the Brunnet just laughs and says "Sir, My sister is a blond, She'll read the word nice and slow!"
Quote:
poo.. you stole mine!
two sisters inharit a farm. Well they deside they want to raise their own beef, so the Brunnet sets off with $1,000 to find some cows. She comes across this really nice bull and desides to buy it. She asks the farmer how much and he replies "$999", So she hands the farmer the money and goes off to send her sister a telegram telling her to come pick up this bull. The clerk tells the Brunnet that it will be $1 a word, so the Brunnet thinks long and hard and blerts out "Comfortable!". Puzzled, the clerk looks at her and says "Ma'am, how will your sister know to pick up this bull if you only send her the word 'comfortable'?" the Brunnet just laughs and says "Sir, My sister is a blond, She'll read the word nice and slow!"
poo.. you stole mine!
two sisters inharit a farm. Well they deside they want to raise their own beef, so the Brunnet sets off with $1,000 to find some cows. She comes across this really nice bull and desides to buy it. She asks the farmer how much and he replies "$999", So she hands the farmer the money and goes off to send her sister a telegram telling her to come pick up this bull. The clerk tells the Brunnet that it will be $1 a word, so the Brunnet thinks long and hard and blerts out "Comfortable!". Puzzled, the clerk looks at her and says "Ma'am, how will your sister know to pick up this bull if you only send her the word 'comfortable'?" the Brunnet just laughs and says "Sir, My sister is a blond, She'll read the word nice and slow!"
OKay, OKay Here I'll Try
There was 3 Woman running from the Cops.
One was a Brunette. One was a RedHead. And the other was a Blonde.
They all see a Potatoe Farm and run to it, and find a Barn.
They go in and find large Potatoe Bags that are Empty, so they climb in and lie still.
The cops come flying into the driveway of the Potatoe Farm and run over to the Barn.
They pull out their guns and yell "We know your in their come out!" after no reply for a minute.
The cops go inside. They look around and are stumped til' they see the Potatoe bags there.
One cop strolls over with his gun pointing to one bag with the Brunette inside.
He pokes it with his gun and it goes "Woof!" he nods to the other Cops and says it's just a dog.
ANother Cop pokes the second bag with his Tazer which has the RedHead in it, when he does it goes "Meow!" and he just shrugs and tells the other Cops it's a Cat.
Then another Cop comes to the third bag and pokes it with a stick which had the Blonde in it and she says "Po-Ta-Toe!".
lol....
There was 3 Woman running from the Cops.
One was a Brunette. One was a RedHead. And the other was a Blonde.
They all see a Potatoe Farm and run to it, and find a Barn.
They go in and find large Potatoe Bags that are Empty, so they climb in and lie still.
The cops come flying into the driveway of the Potatoe Farm and run over to the Barn.
They pull out their guns and yell "We know your in their come out!" after no reply for a minute.
The cops go inside. They look around and are stumped til' they see the Potatoe bags there.
One cop strolls over with his gun pointing to one bag with the Brunette inside.
He pokes it with his gun and it goes "Woof!" he nods to the other Cops and says it's just a dog.
ANother Cop pokes the second bag with his Tazer which has the RedHead in it, when he does it goes "Meow!" and he just shrugs and tells the other Cops it's a Cat.
Then another Cop comes to the third bag and pokes it with a stick which had the Blonde in it and she says "Po-Ta-Toe!".
She pulled into a repair shop & asked the mechanic to fix the car.
After a while the car was running smoothly.
When blonde asked the mechanic about it he said, "Oh, just crap in it!"
The blonde replied, "How often?"
And yes, I'm blonde too! I love blonde jokes.
- Aug 26, 2011
- 17,155
- 330
- 476
The three blondes were talking excitedly about going on holiday to the sun.
When asked how they could possibly survive such a trip, they replied "Duh! We'll go at night!"
When asked how they could possibly survive such a trip, they replied "Duh! We'll go at night!"
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