I, too, have been there. When we got our very first flock if chickens I got 8 beautiful Partridge Chentechlers (7 hens/1 roo). With the new chicken keeper learning curve I ended up with just a pair. I kept that pair for almost 7 years, and I adored those two chooks! My rooster was the first to die of old age (the flock was 2 when we took them in). It, unfortunately, wasn't a found him already dead situation. I nursed him inside my house for two weeks before he finally passed. I cried like a baby (for several days), and my DH had to take over chicken care because I didn't want anything to do with them. Eventually though, I jumped back in the drivers seat and got back to it. Then, this past summer, my poor hen Ethyl went the exact same way
I took it pretty hard, and sold off all my layers. But, I honestly couldn't fathom a life without chickens roaming the yard. I went from a layer flock of 60+ to a small flock of 5 Silkies and 1 OEGB. I guess what I'm saying is, if they aren't bringing you joy, let them go. Start again later if you so choose, but they should bring you joy- not sorrow. I'm sorry for your loss, but trust, you are in a place where people understand AND know exactly where you're coming from. Big hugs to you friend....
Nikki

Nikki
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