Building a farm .. Updated 8/24 Complete/ *PICS*

[ClairedeLune]

What an awesome thread! Can't wait to see more pics.

 

[Acre of Blessings]

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when is that BYC party gonna be again?

 

[ChikeeMomma]

Love your house! How exciting! Can't wait to see your kitchen.

 

[texasgal]

Cabinets are done, septic is in .. formica guy, tile guys, carpet guys, next week .. final plumbing/fixtures/electrical work .. and HARDWOOD FLOORS the week after ... and we are DONE ...

I promise pics this weekend..

I'm exhausted.

 

[texasgal]

Manhattan expectations w/ Green Acres budget ....

I'm a little down this week .. reason for no pics.

We are not wealthy people. We work hard for an average wage. We've jumped into a project that we had to make meet our budget .. of course. Our builder is a small town country builder, and we're getting this house built at a VERY REASONABLE price per square foot. With this comes the expectation (from me anyway) that our house will not be finished out with all the little extras that a house in an upscale neighborhood would be.

I don't expect crown moulding, granite countertops, gold-plated fixtures .. you get the picture.

DH, on the otherhand, seems to have this expectation, that our house will look like "the Jones's" ... It's like he finds something wrong with almost every phase of the project. He isn't happy with the fireplace. We couldn't afford the big all-brick fireplace. Now everytime he walks into the house he has to make some remark about the fireplace.

When we were choosing light fixtures, he had his heart set on a chandelier that I really just don't like .. at all. I finally told him to buy the chandelier that he wanted, because he liked it so much, BUT he had to promise me that I he won't say another word about the fireplace.. period. We all know he doesn't like it .. so let it go.

Well, this week, the countertop guy was putting tops on our counters .. laminate tops.. It's the more inexpensive way to go. We can't afford granite counters .. So we go with what we can afford. I'm all excited, take pictures .. get home and DH is not happy with it. Says it looks cheap, and cheezy, and now he admits he doesn't like the cabinets either .. I'm just heartbroken.

I've never had the need to "keep up with the Jones's" .. I don't care what people think. I like functionality over style. I can't see paying more money for a name, or "style" when a cheaper version is just a functional. (Probably the reason I bought a Kawasaki .. while DH drives a Harley)

Anyway, then I started feeling embarrassed to post pictures because I wondered if other people are like my DH. Will they say "Wow, that's cheap, or cheezy .. or why did they do THAT??" .. Worrying about what other people think .. so THAT's what that feels like? YUCK .. he can HAVE that.

I LOVE my home .. I don't know what I would have done differently if money were no obstacle, but probably not much. I'm a simple girl. I don't want to see all these "faults" in my house everytime I come home .. I don't want to think that DH does either.

Why is he able to tie my stomach in knots so easily ..

__________________________________________________

Tile guys are finishing up today .. I'll have to post pictures sometime .. I really like the way it's all coming together .. The only complaints I have at this time is DH's critical spirit ... can we have an exorcism please ..

 

[GPN]

because ya love him..... and care about his opinion.


Beat him with a skillet for making you feel your home is not worthy of his approval!!!!!

What pictures I have seen it is BEAUITFUL!! i have not went back through them all yet..

GPN

Smile and post'em pictures so we can smile too!

(oh ps i ain't married so my opinion bout beating him might come from what my momma taught me!)

 

[boxermom]

Your new home is beautiful!!!!!!!!!! Do not be embarassed. DH is probably feeling inadequate right now in that "he can't supply" what he thinks you deserve. Sit him down and tell him that being out there with him is THE most important thing. Explain to him that the negative comments are really getting you down. If he won't listen, write him a love letter. They won't admit it out loud, but guys like getting them. This is about building "him" up like your house. Enjoy your house, enjoy him. When he sees you respond that way, he'll start to enjoy it too.

 

[texasgal]

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Thanks for this.. (Of course crying at work is never good ...) .. I needed that perspective.

 

[ducks4you]

DH will come around. I agree--he'd like to make it look great, and thinks that the parts of the house that CAN BE CHANGED, aren't gonna look right. He is wrong about that. I live in a 100 year old house. When it was built the kitchen counters were NOT laminate, but they are now. The kitchen floor was probably wood or linoleum (different from vinyl). It's vinyl now, and I'll probably have to replace it with vinyl BEFORE I can put in linoleum, which is what I want. Your house is lovely, looking at the pictures. You'll be able to live with the color choice of the outside, off-white and blue shingles, for a LONG time. (I know someone who had all of the interior walls painted pink and had to repaint them all white before the house would sell!!

Still, THAT was changeable, too.)

Your relationship, however is always more important than your possessions. Only you can figure out what the conversation between the two of you will relieve the stress. We are all more than happy to hold your hand. Don't let this forum become a wedge between you. DH and I have been married for over 30 years. I have been the hot tempered, discontented person in our relationship. DH is a slow-fused GEM who hugs me a lot. Just some perspective...

Good luck with your building project!! I have subscribed to it!

 

[SallyF]

I understand completely. When we built our house (which was finished right before Thanksgiving) we had to downsize considerably from what we had originally planned. We ended up with a one bedroom, 1.5 bath house with a full basement. We originally planned to put in an endless lap pool; talk about daydreams! I wanted a three-bedroom house, but I'm happy vacuuming the one bedroom and we're empty-nesters anyway. Anybody who comes to visit can unroll a sleeping bag in the basement. We went with stock cabinets from Lowe's, which are hickory and I love them. We put in hickory hardwood floors to match and used the oiled bronze hardware like you're using and it looks great. We couldn't afford the stone/brick fireplace either. Put in a pre-fab, tiled around it with the leftover bathroom tile, and had a hickory mantel made for it. Still looks great with a fire in it. I went with laminate countertops too, and you know why? Because I checked the ratings on all the countertop materials and decided that was the most practical one to get. Granite may be gorgeous, but it requires more upkeep, and I'm retired. I don't wanna spend days cleaning, sealing and dealing with materials that require a lot of care, and frankly, I don't spend a lot of time sitting and admiring counters. Laminate gives you more bang for your buck, the new ones are pretty, and it's cheaper to install and replace if you get tired of it.

Sometimes it just takes a while for reality to catch up with your dreams Your DH will come around eventually when he gets it out of his system. Your house is beautiful and you are going to love living in it. Just pretend to be a duck and let his comments roll off your back. You keep talking about what you love about it, and he'll run out of critiques. Sounds like he needs to learn to make lemonade!