I like Scarter's advice. Last year I raised my first meat birds, cornish crosses, and I was nervous/dreading having to deal with the processing. I was really squeamish when I thought about it but I had an interesting situation unfold that changed all that.
My meat birds were all in the chicken tractor and I was refilling their waterer. They always run towards me because sometimes I feed them grapes or strawberries etc. Anyways, I wasn't really paying too much attention and when I slammed the door to the tractor shut, it snapped a poor rooster's neck. I had the presence of mind to quickly get my leatherman and slice his jugulars and let him bleed out. After that, I was committed and plucked and gutted him.
When I got done, I realized that the anticipation of having to kill and process those birds was MUCH MUCH worse than actually performing the tasks. The first bird I put in a killing cone was rough but after that it got much easier and now it feels like a natural and normal part of sustainable and resilient lifestyle. With any life, comes death. You can't have one without the other.
Just set your goals to process one bird, from start to finish. Don't do anything else, bird wise, that day. Just get up early, process the bird, and then fill the rest of the day with whatever soothes your soul. I'm sure you won't find it the most pleasant task, but it's also far from the worst task that may cross your plate.
Keep us posted and let us know how it goes. We're pulling for you. Really, it won't be as bad as the anticipation has lead your mind to believe.
Dan
