Caregiver's Rant

[DarkUnicorn]

Now when my grandpa had a live in caregiver...

She was part of this family. Every cook out, every dinner, every special occasion she was invited as well as her husband and any family that was visiting as long as we knew there would be extra, or we would scramble to find room!

She wanted cable TV and internet in Granda's house, it was installed and paid for...

I don't know why any one would basically dismiss the garegiver. They are doing the job the family cant for whatever reason.

 

[Epona142]

I was a Home Health Caregiver for almost three years until recently.

I was paid MINIMUM wage. Never got a raise until the STATE raised minimum wage.

I was treated very poorly by the company; they were constantly switching supervisors to the point I would never know the fellow's name. Not to mention they barely check up on their caregivers.

My client was an elderly woman who was very kind in most ways, but she was tactless and hurtful. And she had a live-in son (40+ years old) who literally did nothing, took no showers, and was very strange. He made me feel horribly uncomfortable.

I chose to quit, even in this bad recession, than to continue to subject myself to that overly stressful job anymore.

 

[Dar]

please please please I beg of you dont jump at me for this I am just stating another persons opinion

many feel like the caregiver is there to do a job... period plain and simple... they were not invited into the family

When I did home care i worked many Christmas days thanksgiving days I was even the one who prepared the meal for them half the time and yet when it came to dinner time I was sent down stairs (with pay i will add) to watch TV or eat my meal that I had brought from home. I would then be paged after dinner to clean up and then prep the client for his evening with his family ,, so my hours would be like this

7 - 9am wake him, shower him, prep breakfast, while he was eating make his bed, clean up breakfast dishes

11-1pm make his lunch and start prep for dinner peeling veggies roast in oven , then clean up after lunch

4-8pm start getting things ready for them to sit down at the table I never served the meal but i did prep my clients plate, family usually served dinner while I was doing cares

at about 5 30 i would be sent downstairs so they could eat and he could be "normal"

I worked for this family for 3 years.. and one day the son kinda cornered me and said that the family had discussed inviting me to join them for dinner but dad (my client) refused.. I was a constant reminder that he was ill, disabled and if i worked at a factory job i would not be provided my christmas day dinner... or if i worked in a nursing home they would not provide my dinner would they...so why should he? he felt that he gave me enough of a bonus for working that day thats good enough.. I will admit he was very generous at Christmas and birthdays

when the family finally decided that dad needed to be in a home I was given more then adequate severance pay and bonuses ect... and I am still in contact with the family and will call me to go and see dad when the nursing staff has had enough of his stubborn pig headed ways...

for some reason he will listen to me.. I tell it like it is..(which has gotten me into trouble

) but his son said to me the last time i went to visit... that even though dad wont admit it.. he feels like I am the daughter he never had. My heart melt.. apparently I was his longest staff member and the only one dad really liked

 

[bwebb7]

Rant away! We are your whipping boy. We understand and care. Thank you to all you caregivers, this would be a terrible place if we did not have you here to help. That would be all kind's of caregivers-the one that has dinner with the family and the one that goes downstairs to eat what you brought.
God Bless you all.

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

Here's my perspective. Im disabled. I do not need a caregiver. I do have thing I need help with. The fact that you need help to do anything that others see as simple is degrading enough. Even a well deserved thank you can become a egknolagement of being needy or useless. Also as long as you are treated as "the help" there is a hint of normalcy in there lives. Anything that treats you better than a butler would also in turn treat them as less than a person.

 

[lngrid]

Quote:
I happen not to own one. And why should it be MY responsibility to provide one? I am not the person employing a caregiver. Like you, have a mentally disabled son. I know from experience the discrimination against people without visible handicaps. As his parent I accept the responsibility to prepare myself to meet his needs and mine as I care for him, but I'm not my clients' parent.

 

[lngrid]

Quote:
I've worked for elderly clients who have turned a bit mean and it means the world if a family member takes us aside and says something intelligent and sympathetic. Any sign from anyone that we are more than just wallpaper or appliances means a great deal. Thank you so much for understanding.

 

[onthespot]

you need to be your own advocate. Talk with your client and tell them your needs, and that they MUST be accomodated or you will find someone else to wait on hand and foot for minimum wage... I am not demeaning you or your work. I know how backbreaking and unappreciated it can be and you MUST state your needs to the one you want to meet them, plainly. They must be "doable" for your client and you must see to it that they are done. Train them just like you would a dog. If they don't train up, find someone who will. Life is too short to spend it and all your energies making life easier for someone who is completely unappreciative and selfish, disabilities or not.

 

[lngrid]

Quote:
Heh. The plate was only 1/6 of the whole point. The people at the picnic and the young man at the luncheon probably treat all their caregivers this way. No one I've listened to yet has given me a good excuse for this. Disability in a client is an excellent reason, but by the time a caregiver starts feeling like dirt, they know their client well enough to know whether or not it stems from disability. If they don't, something is amiss.

 

[ProductionRed09]

I had several doctors recently tell me I have what is called Caregivers Syndrome, my response was NO KIDDING!!!

I have a chronically ill child, it is challenging to say the least. But he is getting older and is helping more with his medical needs. But it can still be overwhelming at times.

So, I get what you are saying...