Chat room for non religious poultry keepers! :D

[TOMTE]

Phew... Been having a rough go of it. Within 4 days I've found out about the deaths of two dear friends. I've never had friends die before, I have gone through family dying a few times but this is very different. I keep bouncing between feeling things sharply and not feeling anything. Bleeehhhh

Anyway this song is a beautiful sentiment on death, I never imagined I would need to use it for comfort so soon after discovering it but I'm glad I have it.

"Dancing in the wind as roses born again
There, you'll find me
Before the dawn of man, in castles made of sand
There, you'll find me
Writing in the caves as fire lights the way
There, you'll find me
Mask of royal glow, don in pharaoh's clothes
There, you'll find me, let it go
Yeah, rings of dust and ice, weightless in the night
There, you'll find me, let it go"

 

[Sally PB]

I'm sorry for your losses, @TOMTE.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Hi

 

[akroberts1085]

Hello everyone. I'm still alive LOL. Just busy trying to figure things out. Have a good night and a wonderful day tomorrow.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Hello everyone. I'm still alive LOL. Just busy trying to figure things out. Have a good night and a wonderful day tomorrow.

 

[pipdzipdnreadytogo]

I'm similarly surviving, though it definitely feels like my classes are actively trying to stress me to an early grave

Hope y'all are doing well, though! And keeping warm if you're caught in this snowstorm!

 

[ShrekDawg]

I'm similarly surviving, though it definitely feels like my classes are actively trying to stress me to an early grave View attachment 4288685


Hope y'all are doing well, though! And keeping warm if you're caught in this snowstorm!

I shoveled like an hour and a half ago and it’s already filling in LOL

ANYWAYS

to everyone!!!!!!

I am…

Spoiler

not great. Again.

I’m just dealing with A LOT right now (my ex, finding out my good friend had passed, etc.) and THEN!!!!!!!! To make matters worse, I kind of said screw it! Yesterday and had caffeine again after nearly 4 months (would have been on Tuesday)…

Which sounds insanely stupid BUT!!!!!!!!! For me, caffeine is VERY VERY bad because ANY amount leads to extreme anxiety and then later, extreme depression from the crash and guilt, etc. plus racing thoughts and a lot more negative and intrusive thoughts. Which leads me to other BAD behaviors.

But so far I haven’t resorted to the other bad behaviors yet and I’m hoping to get back on track with the caffeine but still.

ANYWAYS…

I keep dissociating too to deal with it which isn’t great.

Honestly though, it all just feels like a bad dream that I haven’t woken up from yet.

Except it’s reality. It’s my life.

ANYWHO…

Sorry for dumping