Chicken Jokes

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by chickenbarn-gal, Jun 19, 2010.

  1. chickenbarn-gal

    chickenbarn-gal Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 6, 2010
    Michigan
    Here are two chicken jokes,

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

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    A man was driving along a rural road, one day, when he saw a three-legged chicken. He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while.
    As he was driving, he noticed the chicken was running 30 mph. "Pretty fast chicken," he thought, "I wonder just how fast it can run." So, he sped up and the chicken did, too!
    They were, now, moving along the road at 45 mph! The man in the car sped up, again. To his surprise, the chicken was still running ahead of him at 60 mph!
    Suddenly, the chicken turned off the road and ran down a long driveway, leading to a farmhouse. The man followed the chicken to the house and saw a man in the yard, and dozens of three-legged chickens.
    The man in the car called out to the farmer, "How did you get all these three-legged chickens?"
    The farmer replied, "I breed 'em. Ya' see, it's me, my wife, and my son living here, and we all like to eat the chicken leg. Since a chicken only has two legs, I started breeding this three-legged variety so we could all eat our favorite piece."
    "That's amazing!" said the driver. "How do they taste?"
    "Don't rightly know," said the farmer, "we can't catch 'em."
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    One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

    The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

    One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Cow! A talking chicken!'" [​IMG]

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  2. Telamon

    Telamon Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 31, 2010
    I have no idea.
    LOL! that is funny! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 19, 2010
  3. HennyJenny

    HennyJenny Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Dec 26, 2009
    Bennington, NE
    my personal favorite:

    Q: Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

    A: Because if it had four doors it would be a sedan!
     
  4. Telamon

    Telamon Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 31, 2010
    I have no idea.
    i dont get it...
     
  5. chickenbarn-gal

    chickenbarn-gal Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 6, 2010
    Michigan
    [​IMG] I'm glad you liked my jokes. Here are some more! [​IMG]
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    Recently a friend and I went out to eat late one Sunday morning. I was torn between ordering from the restaurant's breakfast or lunch menus, and finally asked the server to bring me both a chicken sandwich and an order of scrambled eggs. When she left, I said to my friend, "I wonder if I've just committed a faux pas."

    "I don't think so, but I AM wondering which one will come first."
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    ... And, OH! This isn't a chicken jokes but I think it's pretty funny!
    Church bulletin bloopers!
    Actual announcements taken from church bulletins:

    * Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.

    * Thursday night, potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

    * Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

    * For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

    * The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

    * This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

    * Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

    * Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

    * Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

    * This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

    * The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start, and the rest of the congregation will join in.

    * Next Sunday a special collection will be takento defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

    * The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.

    * A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

    * At the evening service tonight, the topic will be "What is Hell?". Come early and listen to our choir practice.
    [​IMG]
     
  6. Our church ain't Dairy Queen.. But we have GREAT Sundays!!
     
  7. noahsgeese

    noahsgeese Border Collie

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    Nov 30, 2009
    Virginia
    Quote:[​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  8. chickenbarn-gal

    chickenbarn-gal Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 6, 2010
    Michigan
    I'm glad you liked the jokes, By the way I loved the one with the sundae! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
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    [​IMG]

    Here are some more!!

    You know it's going to be a bad day when your teenager knocks on your bedroom door first thing in the morning and says, "Today is Nerd Day at school, Dad. Can I borrow some of your clothes?"
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    [​IMG]
    Preparing for a family vacation, my sister-in-law and her husband explained to their young children that they would be sitting in the car for a very long time. The kids were told they would not be arriving at their destination until after dark, and were warned not to keep saying, "Are we there yet?"

    After a few minutes of peaceful driving, their five-year-old daughter perked up. "Is it dark yet?"
    ---------------------------------------And, Here is a website that I LOVE for jokes! [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    http://kcbx.net/~tellswor/textonly.htm
     
  9. chickenbarn-gal

    chickenbarn-gal Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 6, 2010
    Michigan
    Quote:HAHAHA! I love that joke! [​IMG]

    Oh, everyone please feel welcome to share Your favorite jokes!!
     

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