Chickens are better than...

Smidoid

In the Brooder
7 Years
Nov 2, 2012
30
4
31
This is for the budding comics out there - my Facebook followers know I write a joke every day or so buy since I lost my chickens to a nasty neighbor (long story) I thought it was time to get my own back with a little "meme" or two about why chickens are better than - well, dogs, cats, parrots, girl/boy friends, neighbors.

So I've started a few lists here - and I'd appreciate it if you can pick one (or several) and add your own reason so that after a while we can post them to Facebook et al and have a good laugh at Chicken haters everywhere.

Note these aren’t necessarily serious or even practical - it’s just for fun!

Chickens are better than dogs because chickens...


won’t bite the postman.
don’t need walking.
don’t bark every time the doorbell rings.
won’t try to answer the door - it’s never for them anyway.
won’t inseminate next door’s prize poodle.
won’t dry hump your leg.
won’t growl at you when you try to get it off the couch.
don’t steal from the biscuit tin.
will cut your grass for you.
will fertilize your flowerbeds
will enjoy picking the slugs out of your flowerbeds.
won’t lick their own bits in front of your in-laws.
are content sleep on a pole.
and finally, you when a chicken gets boring, you can eat it!


Chickens are better than cats because chickens...

won’t bite, scratch and run off when you try worming them.
won’t catch fleas and leave them in your bed.
won’t consider a dead rodent a special gift.
won’t try to eat your pet goldfish.
won't lick your face before your eyes are even open.


Chickens are better than girlfriends because chickens...

Won’t make you buy her a drink.
Will get your breakfast started in the morning.
Never complain when you leave the washing up.
Never complain when you roll in drunk at 2am.
Aren’t fussy that you can’t afford a “real” diamond.
Won’t complain when you want to watch the footy.
Never asks “does my bum look big in this” and then whines about the truth.
Won’t mind if you call her fat.
Won’t care if you don’t shave.
Won’t get offended if you look longingly at her best friend.
Won’t get offended if you grope her best friend.
Will sleep on a pole (but won’t dance around one).
and finally, no matter how ugly you are, you can always pick up a “hot” chick.
 

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