Chicks Don't Like Us, Wife Annoyed

I don't handle chicks a lot at a young age, I spend time around the brooder so they are used to be being around, but I don't handle them. Most chickens go through a "teenage" stage where they avoid all human contact no matter how much time you previously spent with them. I've found that since they've known me their whole lives, they start to warm up to me once they reach about 5 months. Much easier then trying to force them to like you.
 
Only tips I can offer are two. Stay low. Go slow at the start.

I don't know how your brooder is set up, but it helps a lot if you can stay low to the birds. Standing over birds who are at floor level, you are just a great big giant ogrish something-or-other threat that may gobble them up. If that's the layout, raise the brooder or squat or get down on your knees to approach before they can catch sight of you.

From there, move slowly with them, let them go at their own pace. If they're skittish already, a little scratch offered from your hand (they'll need chick grit beforehand mixed into their regular feed to be able to digest the scratch) may help draw them in. Sometimes just the shiny glint of a ring on one of your fingers will pique their curiosity. Bait them in if that's what it takes, but don't chase them with your hand -- counterproductive. Bait or not, if they're going to come in, they will. Some won't. When they do approach, don't try to pick them right up at first. I've always started off by coming at them slowly with a cupped hand from the front, with the aim of lifting them slightly, one finger between their legs. Initially, I'll lift their bodies, but not enough to take their feet off the ground. I keep my fingers open so that they can go on their way if they like. As they come to understand that you will touch them while not infringing on their liberty to leave, they'll resist your approaches less. As a pecking order starts to emerge, you may even notice some of them starting to push each other around to get up onto your hand first. Let them come and go freely from your hand, and you should find that those who don't have other objections will spend more time checking you out.

In my experience, after a few days or a week of that kind of handling, I can lift their feet off the ground. Keeping the fingers open, they'll hop up and perch on your fingers when they're ready . From there, they might try to climb your arm or they might hop off. Let them do it. Don't try to catch them again. Let them come in their own time. The key in those early days is avoiding anything that makes them feel like they're being pursued or captive.

Taming them in this fashion, I can walk up right up to most of my grown ladies at any time and pick them up if I need to, whether for looking over or for whatever, or simply to set one that forgot to go in back into the coop.

Stay low and calm with them. The comment above about letting each experience end calmly is spot on.
 
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If cudly and petting is what you're looking for, you probably should get a puppy. Some cats don't mind all that handling. But chickens? What's the deal with all the hoochie coochie cudly stuff. You might have the wrong animal, or fowl, to have a pet. My chickens are friendly, docile and all the other things chickens are. But to make a teddy bear out of j'um, just might put them in a position where they lose the instinctive nature to survive. Mine range all day and I want them to stay on alert, for their own good. I'm afraid if a pets made out of them they will look to you for the protection all the time and lose that edge. Why not just let 'um be chickens?
 
Sometimes it could be related to the breed's temperment. Like Leghorns, they are so spazzy and no matter what you do to them from chick to adult, they are just wired that way.

If they are of non hyper breed, then like the others posted, are good ideas to get them to warm up to you.
 
Mine have all gone through different phases of friendliness. The really friendly one got weird for a bit, the shy one is now the most friendly, etc. But the treats and handfeeding do help a lot. And as others suggested, staying super low helps because even after 11 weeks now, if I come in from above, they still all freak out. Keep at it, don't give up. I'm not expecting mine to be super cuddly, but I would like them to be easily handled & caught if need be. Good luck.
 
First, I am nuts, I'll admit it straight away.

Second, if you give them quality time, they will warm up to you, but you have to be consistent.

My kids put old sheets on the couch and over themselves and the couch becomes a chick raceway while they sit there and read. Invariably, they end up with chicks nestled under their chins and on their shoulders under their hair, snoozing merrily.

I'm not saying you have to go that far, but being furniture for them for a half hour daily makes an incredible difference and you end up with snuggly lap chickens that purr and hang out with you all the time.
 
No one can tell you that your chickens aren't suited to be as cuddly as you wish them to be. It's entirely up to you.

Probably the one big mistake you've made to this point is to reach in from above them to try to handle them. Once you correct that, they can be tamed as much as you like. It's not too late. I like to elevate my brooders on tables and construct the access doors on the sides.

You've received some excellent tips how to go about this. It takes patience and a lot of love, and yes, chickens do respond to love and they will return it. In the five years I've had chickens, I'm totally blown away by how affectionate they are.
 
I think with older chicks, just sitting down on the floor with them and letting them walk all over you is best. Pet them a bit on their terms. Offer bits of treat (chopped up boiled egg/scrambled egg is good). But put off holding them/cuddling them for a while. The ones that have the tendancy to be friendly will be so, and the the others won't so much. They're all different. I've had some chicks that were super friendly and some that acted as if I was Jack the Ripper - but all became people friendly when they matured.
 
I'm sorry, I just popped in to giggle at your title. It has to be the best thread title I've ever seen on here.

Chicks Don't Like Us, Wife Annoyed ... It really made me chuckle out loud...

I'd say just persist with them. If possible try to reach at them from the side and not from above, that way they won't think you're a swooping hawk. Keep feeding them and talking to them, to get them used to you and your voice, and to get used to you being the Food King and general Bringer Of Treats. Move slowly around them and speak gently, and don't twitch or rush about. Learn how to pick them up and hold them firmly so they can't scratch you. And just wait till they grow up a bit. In my experience all chicks go through a stage of being terrified of you and hating being picked up, but if you just keep up the daily contact eventually they will grow out of it, and come round to seeing you as a good thing. They might not ever be super tame and friendly and keen on being picked up and cuddled, but then a chicken isn't the most cuddly thing anyway...

I like my chickens to come running round my feet and to take food from my hands, and to not panic if I have to pick them up and handle them. I don't really need them to be any tamer than that. Sometimes it's just down to individual personalities as well. Last year I had a dozen chicks I raised by hand, and once they were adults there was one who would always try to run and hide, and would scream bloody murder if I picked her up. There was another one who would come running up to me and hop up and down cooing and burbling till I picked her up and petted her. She was quite happy to be carried about for ages under my arm. Total opposites, but both raised together and always handled the exact same way.
 

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