Chores for your children.....

[Sequin]

I need to have my son read this thread. He has relatively little that he Must do as far as regular chores - but we are always asking his help with things and he does what is asked of him. He is responsible for his room being clean and organized, he also does his own laundry(wears it, washes it, puts it away), he is responsible for his schoolwork(we home school), and for putting his own toys/games away each night ... oh, and walk/exercise his dog. Things we routinely ask him to do('ask' might not be the right word here, as he doesn't have an option of saying 'no'): bring in the dog bowls, empty the dishwasher(I do it sometimes, so my kitchen stays organized), vacuum, wash windows, mow the lawn(we have 2 acres of 'lawn'), and in general help with the upkeep of the house and property.

 

[Msbear]

My two year old sweep the floors as well as the dogs and anything else that moves. He also enjoys doing the raking when he is outdoors

He gives the chickens and dogs lots of exercise. He helps me empty the dishwasher...hands me the dishes (we've never broken anything, yet) He picks up all his toys and puts them away, then drags them all back out again. He loves to brush his own teeth and helps mommy by flushing "trash" down the toilet. We are working on potty training and we wave bye bye to the poo when it's getting flushed... I know I know...GROSS! but it helps. And today, he was getting a bath and I was brushing my hair and I heard him say, "bye bye, poo poo" and I raced over to the tub but it was too late.

 

[sara]

My 7 year old is responsible for feeding the dogs, emptying the dishwasher of what he can reach to put away, cleaning up after himself, and doing what ever else I ask of him without complaining. He'd like to have a heifer of his own soon, and in order to get that he has to show responsibility by doing his chores now.

My 2 year old has to feed the cat. He also likes to collect eggs. Oh and they both like to try to help unload hay so they can be paid by PopPop.

 

[sara]

Quote:
We do the same thing. Flushing it away is a great thrill to my son!

 

[LittleYellowOne]

I'm 19, and since I was 14 my only chore has been to do the dishes every other day, as it alternates with my 18 year old sister. I'm OCD and my siblings are horrible slobs, so I often find myself taking out the trash, vaccuuming and other such things just to keep the house semi-organized.

We're not really assigned "chores" in my house, we're just expected to help out when asked.

 

[HorseFeathers]

I'm 12. I tke care of my lizard, my cat, and our chickens. I unload the dishwasher. Keep my room clean. Pretty basic stuff. If I'm lucky and mom/dad remembers I get $2 per week.

If you tell your child "It's not really a lot of work. Other kids have more" I doubt they (at least I) will take you completely seriously. I know several kids who get $5/week for just picking up their dirty socks. Sometimes not even that. That's rather unhealthy, IMO.

ETA: not complaining about my chores. Just saying your kids may know people like the above too.

 

[unionwirewoman]

I guess I should tell you why I started this thread....Some of the older members might remember me asking for help a year back on my Step daughter . I am married now , but I have a strong urge to help this child develope into a better human being .

Her father laye out chores for her ...if they don't get done , he tells her to do them ...and doesn't check to see if they're done .

Her only chores are :
Feeding the horses twice a day
Keeping her room clean
Bringing down her laundry so I can do it
Emptying the dish washer
Smashing cans

Once a day her father might tell her to come out and help with something...or just want to talk....She tells him, I'm watching something or I'm on the computer !

Just recently she was suspended again for cussing at a teacher ....two days later she lit a firecracker in school and got saturday school .

I've talked with hubby about me not being the only one to lay down the rules........now he went the opposite direction of listening and paying attention...to " I'll beat your as! just like my father did to me " .

I get both sides of each persons struggles.....I'm just done with any type of discipline or telling hubby when SD is doing something she shouldn't be doing . He tells his 13 yr old the problems we're having...I told him it was none of her concern .

He needs to focus on getting her on the right track......And in my belief that all stems from doing chores and taking responsibility .

I guess I should add that she does none of these unless it's under a threat of no computer or getting her i-pod taken away .

 

[GopherBoyFarms]

wow, sounds like when my step daughter left our house she went to yours.

sorry.

 

[unionwirewoman]

Quote:
Unfortunatly for SD , her mom told hubby she couldn't deal with her antics anymore and put her over here , for now , full time . I love her to death ! Can't go into all of it , but it was supposed to be a " same rules for both houses type of deal " . Never happened .

I am an outsider looking in ...trying to give advice for hubby.....not nagging...just hints...he doesn't see it though . Both parents never passed on the responsibilities to thier kids . He has told me if he's too harsh on her ......she won't want to come back . SD told me , all she wants are set rules to do all the time . I can't be the bad guy to rule over this and pay attention all of the time though .

 

[Msbear]

People aren't perfect and it sounds like you and your hubby may be more perfect for eachother than you realize. He needs you to aim him in the right direction and be there for his daughter and other reasons and you need him for yet other reasons. That's what makes a great relationship. It's blending your good traits and bad traits to be an overall better person.

As for teenagers...I don't have one but I've been one...just like that one. I never helped around the house or wanted to take part in anything family. If I did it was only out of terror for my father. He was an "oblivious disciplinarian" That's is what I like to call his parenting skills or lack of them. He never knew what was going on in my life or cared but demanded we jump when he snapped. That is a reason God made women joking, Im sure there are some excellent dads out there...my hubby being one of them but it's only because he's willing to learn and grow as a parent.

It took a long time for me to grow out of that selfish teenage zone...much longer than others and I believe now that it was because of the yelling and abuse I had witnessed between my parents and I had seen witnessed much more up close. I can't even tell you how hard it would've been to add a step parent into the mix. Im so glad you are not being the discipliarian. It isn't your place and you will push her farther away. That is definitely his job. But it's nice to see how genuinely concerned you are and how you want to get your hubby more involved. I would try to be a friend to her and get involved with her life and ask her to be more involved in yours. If your really concerned, get into family counseling. I wish my Dad would've taken the responsibility to have done that.

We are in a much better place...only because I live some other place