Chuckle for the day....add yours

[Steve]

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ........ you need to fart.

The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you remember, you've been listening to your ipod.

 

[Buster]

 

[jbowyer01]

OH MY LORD!!!I cant stop laughing. Thanks I need that!

 

[Frizzledhen]

The theory of intelligence:
Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . .
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

 

[steelshot]

I usually wait till I am in the store with my wife and am in a crowded aisle to slip one out quitely . I walk away quickly and stand at the end of the aisle and watch the look on others folks faces as they stare at my wife in disbelief. I don't care who you are that's funny

 

[Attack Chicken]

Quote:
LOL

 

[Steve]

Quote:
So you're THAT guy?

 

[Attack Chicken]

One time my mom and dad when out to go Christmas shopping and she has one of thpse walkie-talkie phones that when you push the button you can talk on them. Well when they were out shopping I randomly picked up the other phone and made a fart noise in it just to get her back from throwing snow on me. So they get home and my dad told me what happend. She was in a check-out line when I did it. People looked up at her. She felt so embarassed but I almost died laughing when I found out

Even my dad thought it was her!

 

[steelshot]

with a "P"

 

[Steve]

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.

He says, "What on earth is that all about?"

The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm."

"Okay, but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?"

The farmer replied, "There ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other."