ClucksnDucks11s joke thread

[ClucksnDucks11]

Who there?

 

[TinyBeaks]

COOOK

 

[ClucksnDucks11]

COOOK who? O......Now I get it. Definition joke. petrified wood:a frightened log.

 

[RJeiddiktpircs]

Alright so there were three girls in the city and this man comes to them and asks them "If you were stranded in the middle of the desert, And you could bring one item of your choosing, What would it be?

Ginger: Water, so I can drink

Brunette: Food, so I can eat

Blonde: A car door, so I can roll down the window when it gets hot. XD

 

[TinyBeaks]

Alright, so there was a blonde in a store and she walked up to the sales clerk and said, " I want to buy that TV." Pointing to her left.

The sales clerk looked at her and said, " Sorry, I don't sell to blondes."

So the blonde dyed her hair Red and came back, " I want to buy that TV." she said pointing in the same direction. Again the sales clerk said, "Sorry I don't sell to blondes.

When she died her hair brown the same the same thing happened and she said, "How did you know I was blonde."

SALES CLERK: "Because that's not a TV it's a MICROWAVE!"

 

[ClucksnDucks11]

LOL! snake1:Are we venomous? snake2:Yes.Why? snake1:cause I just bit my lip.

 

[RJeiddiktpircs]

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

 

[ClucksnDucks11]

LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! What does a tree say when it is confused?

 

[PeepnQuack12]

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.


February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!


March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"


April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!


May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!


June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.


July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!


August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.


September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???


October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.


November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!


December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

 

[TinyBeaks]

LOLOLOLOLLLOLOLOOLO I DUNNO!