Could have gotten kidnapped...AAH! Freaking out, help!

[mom'sfolly]

Go with your gut.

Be rude, you were far to polite to someone who was behaving inappropriately. Additionally, if you were this creeped out about the guy, you should have stayed in your friend's mom's store, and let her know what you were dealing with. Any adult male who makes young girls feel uncomfortable deserves to be ratted out. You are also not obligated to be nice to someone who is making you feel uncomfortable. You carried the conversation on far too long; the bad guys bet on girls not being rude.

 

[chixie]

mom'sfolly :

Go with your gut.

Be rude, you were far to polite to someone who was behaving inappropriately. Additionally, if you were this creeped out about the guy, you should have stayed in your friend's mom's store, and let her know what you were dealing with. Any adult male who makes young girls feel uncomfortable deserves to be ratted out. You are also not obligated to be nice to someone who is making you feel uncomfortable. You carried the conversation on far too long; the bad guys bet on girls not being rude.

I agree with mom's folly... If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable like that ... you need to tell an adult you trust(doesn't matter if its male or female) you need to listen to your gut...​

 

[Chickenmaven]

I tell my DD to trust her gut and don't be afraid to be impolite.

Women are socialized to be NICE (nice, nice, nice!

). Some guys take advantage of that. I used to conduct educational sessions for a women's shelter. Rapists are known to test the boundaries of their targets. They will say things like: "You don't trust me? I am just offering you a ride and you are treating me like a rapist or something!" Anything to make a woman go against her gut. Anything to make her feel bad or defensive about putting herself first.

Kiddo, I am so proud of you and your friend. I think you should consider this the Introductory Lesson, though. As you meet more people & make your way through the world, you will meet people who will test you in this manner. You will either learn to say, "No, I am not interested. Please leave me." or you will find yourself in difficult situations. I trust you will have the backbone to take a stand. Good for you!

 

[deb1]

THis thread has caused me to reiterate to my daughters that they can be rude if their instincts tells them to be rude. (My kids are pretty polite) I went back over with my daughters that they can refuse to give personal information out. That they should say, "I don't talk to strangers." Or "I want to be alone." And just walk away.

 

[CHIC]

Next time..... DON'T LEAVE THE STORE WHERE YOU KNOW YOU ARE SAFE!... I know you probably felt like you might have been scared for no reason but women have intuition for a reason. When a guy finds any way he can to have some kind of ties with you- people you know, things you are interested in etc. to an extent to tell you that he has planned several baby showers, I would say intentions are not good. At the VERY least, he probably thought he could take advantage of you- even willfully. If you see him again, tell the closest adult- even a stranger(preferably male)- that this guy scares you and act like you know him. If he bothers you again, call the police and report him. And guys like these, even the ones who aren't rapists, need to have their bubbles bursted. I think a lot of them are just on some power trip and want to use younger girls- DON'T BE NICE TO THEM! Let them know that you have to go, if that doesn't work let them know that you aren't interested in talking to them, if that doesn't work then there is a problem and you need to seek an adult. Don't feel bad to go with your gut- it's always the right thing to do even if you do hurt some feelings. If I had listened to some of these words when I was a teenager, even my own, I wouldn't have found myself in some terrible circumstances that I did. Oh yeah, just on another note, guys that are much older(or men even), should never be interested in dating you- don't fall for it. If they were so great than they could go after somebody their own age- these guys are no good and up to no good- PLEASE remember this. It may feel good sometimes to feel that they notice you, but it is probably for all the wrong reasons.

 

[sred98]

I think this was a great learning experience for you. You always listen to your gut! That little voice in the back of your head is there for a reason. Don't try and overthink the situation. You thought it was creepy, and that's all you need to know. If it feels wrong, it IS!!!

I agree that your only mistake was being too nice. But, that's how we're raised, you know? But, you put yourself at risk because you didn't want to be rude. Next time, just walk away or say you don't talk to strangers. I know it sounds like something a little kid would say, but it puts an end to the conversation.

Also, remember to choose your words carefully. I agree that stalker is overused. You should have said "Strange man" or "weird adult" put it out there that you are a minor and he is grown and has no business talking to you. If you had said that "some strange man tried to get you to get in his car" I bet something would have been done immediately!

Next time something like that happens, go behind the counter with your friend's mom. She'll know something's up. It could have ended a lot worse. You have to be careful!!

Glad you and your friend are ok. Next time, don't doubt yourself. No grown man offers to take 2 teenage girls anywhere. Even for HIS own safety, you know? He could be falsely accused of something. But, it's just not done. He was definitely up to no good. Glad you realized that.

Shelly

 

[horsejody]

Next time don't leave the store and don't engage in conversation with the freak. If you are not in a store or with adults you know, just run away. You don't have to have manners when your safety is involved.

 

[kargo]

Quote:
We didn't actually. A lot People around here don't have a lot of money. The store is about as big as a small clsoet. We were standing less than 5 feet away from her mother.

And I did tell my mother. I told her WAY before I thought of BYC. I thought I'd post on here just to let you guys know...plus I wanted some extra opinions.

 

[M To The Maxx]

Quote:
I completely agree.

 

[Whispering Winds]

Anytime you "feel" funny about any kind of situation, that is "God" whispering in your ear. I agree with the post about going to an adult and being very serious. I watch so many forensic shows, that I am suspicious of about everyone I don't know these days, and some that I do know. My dad always said there was more "running around on the outside than there is locked up" and i think he might have been right!!!