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criag's list to funny

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by piecemaker, Dec 7, 2009.

  1. piecemaker

    piecemaker Songster

    Feb 12, 2008
    Centerville Texas
    > Can't resist passing this one on!
    > To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night
    > before last.
    > Date: 2009-05-27,=2 01:43 a.m. E.S.T.
    > I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you
    > demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife
    > on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked
    > for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that
    > you somehow come across this rather important message.
    > First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't
    > expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my
    > pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that
    > cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend
    > had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for
    > my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it
    > that very evening.. Obviously you agree that it is a very
    > intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
    > I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd
    > come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it
    > was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your
    > shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you
    > from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us
    > again].
    > After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed
    > in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd
    > done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those
    > of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit
    > card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was
    > extremely grateful!
    > I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go
    > Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his
    > day!]
    > I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that
    > was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and
    > side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
    > Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell
    > phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only
    > used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going
    > on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening
    > phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
    > mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
    > The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat
    > (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
    > In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ...
    > but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate
    > punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you
    > try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing
    > issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to
    > reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've
    > chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be
    > so lucky.Have a good day!
    > Thoughtfully yours,
    > Alex
    > P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more
    > civil society!
    > I probably don't have to ask you to forward this one.
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2009

  2. Mahonri

    Mahonri Urban Desert Chicken Enthusiast Premium Member

    May 14, 2008
    North Phoenix
    My Coop
    I Love That!!!
  3. michickenwrangler

    michickenwrangler To Finish Is To Win

    Jun 8, 2008
    NE Michigan
  4. Yup, that one's great every time it comes around.

    Always reminds me of The Game, when Michael Douglas is stopped in his car and a moron tries to carjack him... he pulls his book over, pulls out the revolver and says "I'm having a VERY bad day" [​IMG]
  5. ranchhand

    ranchhand Rest in Peace 1956-2011

    Aug 25, 2008
    No offense, but according to Snopes, (which could be wrong), that is an urban legend which has been set in 8 cities- so far. It's been circulating since last January.


    Great story though! [​IMG]
  6. bishopschickens

    bishopschickens Songster

    May 23, 2008
    Cumberland, VA
    oh this was great thanks for sharing!

  7. davidb

    davidb Songster

    Dec 15, 2008
    north east Georgia

  8. dappertophatter

    dappertophatter Songster

    Mar 1, 2008
    The Jersey Shore
    That's hysterical! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    On a more serious note, good thing he had his gun (even if it was a fake email, imagine if that really happened? [​IMG] )
  9. Hoosiermomma

    Hoosiermomma Songster

    Jun 6, 2009
    S.E Ind
    Quote:Sorry this was on our C.L last year. I love it though and I am sure at some point somewhere this has happened to someone.
  10. Cetawin

    Cetawin Chicken Beader

    Mar 20, 2008
    NW Kentucky
    It would happen in Southern Oregon is the stopped DH and I. [​IMG]

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