Critique a synopsis, please?

[Ec_Prokta]

ZZGypsy, thank you very much! That helped a lot.

 

[zzGypsy]

Quote:
you're welcome

I like editing... it's fun to try to fit my brain to the writer's intent and smooth the flow while keeping it their work.
I included the reasons for my changes so you might apply them to your manuscript if they seem helpful.

also, I made one more edit, might have finished that after you posted, check the previous post to see if I edited it after your post.

I had to look up Sternbild... are you a german speaker or just interested in the german night sky?

 

[zzGypsy]

one more...
"seems to never learn" has a stylish feel to it but does not flow perfectly, it has a bit of an unexpecxted bump in it.
"never seems to learn" is more typical flow.
if the first phrasing is part of your writer's voice, I'd keep it. if you're looking for more flow, go with the second.

An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. The same is true for a loop or a cycle of history with the same horrific events, repeating endlessly. Claos Dissislava seems to never learn from her constant stream of cycles, always delighting in them and their senseless destruction. Altantsetseg, Claos' sister and the one most impacted by the relentless loops, is searching for answers: Who or what is causing this, and how can I control it?​