Daughter broke up with boyfriend and I'm the one depressed!

[fjg4733]

,

 

[sosaddened]

My daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of 5 and a half years. She went to work on a cruise ship in August, and I saw her just three weeks ago, this past November. Nothing was mentioned to me. Before she left, she asked me and my other kids to look out after boyfriend. He studies here, but lives alone, alone with the dog he adopted as a puppy along with my daughter. Well, needless to say, for the past five months, he has been basically living with us. I cooked for us, their dog stayed with us, he would stay at least eight hours a day with us. Then, all of a sudden, he got a text message from my daughter, a TEXT message informing him that they were over. I couldn't believe it! I just visited her and she said nothing to me. After the visit, I paid her boyfriend for a round trip visit to see her at a close port! And still she said nothing. My daughter has not called me, has not told me anything. I was with him when she texted him, I swear I was holding back the tears, as he told me, that this was goodbye. That he could not see us anymore as this was not a way to get over her. We saw him and that **** dog every single day, we love that dog too! The doggie stayed with us, since he would go to school and he could roam here, unlike in his tiny apartment. The doggie couldn't even go pee outside on his balcony because the neighbors complained about the smell. (his balcony not the neighbors balcony) So I took care of the puppy and the boyfriend. My daughter is 22 and he's 27. She never liked her life on the cruise ship. She worked 12 hour shifts for 7 days a week, for minimal pay. So, what the hell has happened here?. I am so glad she is still working till March, because everyone is so sad, and mad at her. He was my other daughters friends, he was a brother they did not have. He was the son I did not have. I have not told anything to my daughter, thank God for these forums to rant. I will not tell her how disappointed I am, on the contrary, I will tell her I support her decision, that if he was not the one, so that is that then. But I did write her and ask her to explain, and why she has not called as she used to do before. I feel sooo heartbroken for him, I did not raise a daughter to write a Dear John text message, and being so evasive to him. I am shocked by how she went about to this. This is not the way things are supposed to be done. I wish boyfriend well, and I have told him this, and I offered him my house until my daughter returns, but I know deep in my heart I will never see him and the dog again. And message to myself for future references: Don't let daughters adopt puppies along with their boyfriends. So many heartbreaks, it is too much to handle. It really is.

 

[oldrooster]

My daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of 5 and a half years. She went to work on a cruise ship in August, and I saw her just three weeks ago, this past November. Nothing was mentioned to me. Before she left, she asked me and my other kids to look out after boyfriend. He studies here, but lives alone, alone with the dog he adopted as a puppy along with my daughter. Well, needless to say, for the past five months, he has been basically living with us. I cooked for us, their dog stayed with us, he would stay at least eight hours a day with us. Then, all of a sudden, he got a text message from my daughter, a TEXT message informing him that they were over. I couldn't believe it! I just visited her and she said nothing to me. After the visit, I paid her boyfriend for a round trip visit to see her at a close port! And still she said nothing. My daughter has not called me, has not told me anything. I was with him when she texted him, I swear I was holding back the tears, as he told me, that this was goodbye. That he could not see us anymore as this was not a way to get over her. We saw him and that **** dog every single day, we love that dog too! The doggie stayed with us, since he would go to school and he could roam here, unlike in his tiny apartment. The doggie couldn't even go pee outside on his balcony because the neighbors complained about the smell. (his balcony not the neighbors balcony) So I took care of the puppy and the boyfriend. My daughter is 22 and he's 27. She never liked her life on the cruise ship. She worked 12 hour shifts for 7 days a week, for minimal pay. So, what the hell has happened here?. I am so glad she is still working till March, because everyone is so sad, and mad at her. He was my other daughters friends, he was a brother they did not have. He was the son I did not have. I have not told anything to my daughter, thank God for these forums to rant. I will not tell her how disappointed I am, on the contrary, I will tell her I support her decision, that if he was not the one, so that is that then. But I did write her and ask her to explain, and why she has not called as she used to do before. I feel sooo heartbroken for him, I did not raise a daughter to write a Dear John text message, and being so evasive to him. I am shocked by how she went about to this. This is not the way things are supposed to be done. I wish boyfriend well, and I have told him this, and I offered him my house until my daughter returns, but I know deep in my heart I will never see him and the dog again. And message to myself for future references: Don't let daughters adopt puppies along with their boyfriends. So many heartbreaks, it is too much to handle. It really is.

Please don't kill the mesanger, but it sounds like your daughter has a boyfriend or a friend with benifits on board with her on the ship. otherwise why suddenly drop him now? If it were that she "fell out of love" why not wait until March see him until may when school is out and then dump him if it's not working.

 

[sosaddened]

Well daughter sent us a long letter, and basically said nothing. She emailed the whole family, including the boyfriend, and said she still loves him but wants to be able to date, that she's been with him since she was 17, and wants to live. I believe she already has someone in mind. I learned today that boyfriend will be giving up in adoption his dog, that he loves like a child. He cannot take care of her without my help, and he needs to not see us anymore. And the other sad part of story is that I adopted a puppy from same litter, and he was helping me with my dog in training, and I was helping him with his dog (babysitting), and now I will have to give up my dog too. They are belgian malinois, and I was apparently learning to be a leader for the dogs, but with t his help, and have not learned to do so yet. I am so sad, well he would get a ride with my eldest daughter to his school, he'd come over sometimes cook breakfast, make coffee, leave the dog. Come back, eat lunch here, many times dinner. Take a nap. On Sundays he and I would eat together, since I am divorced, and kids go out with my ex. What kills me most is the dog. He and dog are attached to each other. My daughter BEGGED me if she keep the dog more than a year ago, that the boyfriend would train her, that she would stay in the yard. She begged and cried, and I said yes. And now, this.

 

[oldrooster]

Well daughter sent us a long letter, and basically said nothing. She emailed the whole family, including the boyfriend, and said she still loves him but wants to be able to date, that she's been with him since she was 17, and wants to live. I believe she already has someone in mind. I learned today that boyfriend will be giving up in adoption his dog, that he loves like a child. He cannot take care of her without my help, and he needs to not see us anymore. And the other sad part of story is that I adopted a puppy from same litter, and he was helping me with my dog in training, and I was helping him with his dog (babysitting), and now I will have to give up my dog too. They are belgian malinois, and I was apparently learning to be a leader for the dogs, but with t his help, and have not learned to do so yet. I am so sad, well he would get a ride with my eldest daughter to his school, he'd come over sometimes cook breakfast, make coffee, leave the dog. Come back, eat lunch here, many times dinner. Take a nap. On Sundays he and I would eat together, since I am divorced, and kids go out with my ex. What kills me most is the dog. He and dog are attached to each other. My daughter BEGGED me if she keep the dog more than a year ago, that the boyfriend would train her, that she would stay in the yard. She begged and cried, and I said yes. And now, this.

I would try to see if he'd be willing to help if you would take his dog in until such a time he would relocate to a better place for him to have a dog, even if it is a year or two off, if you both continue a friendship, then hopefully you both come out ahead with a couple of great dogs. if daughter doesn't like it tell her tough nuggies, she helped make a mess you are cleaning up after her.

 

[connie1966]

hows everyone doing? holidays were hard for me i saw pictures of him posted on instagram by family and noticed he doesnt smile anymore he useto always have a huge smile on his face and that spark in his eye is gone the breakup changed him i dont think he will ever be the same again, he took it really hard.. poor kid and her shes obsessed with this new guy she celebrated one year with him in november and its only been 17 months they broke up she moved on so fast and he knows that,must have hurt him so much too.. i still miss him think of him everyday. met her boyfriend once i dont like him he didnt even wish me a merry christmas..

 

[Am I mad 66]

Thank you Connie and bdcraw, you've no idea how you have helped me? My daughter has just split from her husband and like both of you I feel so so sad, some days depressed, others coping. But it's not MY relationship? Why do I feel like this? I should be happy that she's happy. I am depending on your advice that time will make it better.

thank you both

 

[connie1966]

Hi! Yes its not your relationship but your human and got attached he was a part of your family and now hes gone its hard, im still not over it , i dreamt i hugged him last night

its just so hard to accept its over he will never be in my life again... I will never see him talk to him laugh with him etc.. You cant just unlove someone just because our kids did.. It will hurt less and you will learn to live without him but it will take sone time..

 

[Am I mad 66]

And there was so much to look forward to. Holidays away, watching them with their children. Thanks for listening. X

 

[connie1966]

So sad ..hang in there