Dealing with friends insulting me because I raise pet chickens.

[sdm111]

This might be a weird question but I'm starting to hate the fact that my friend makes fun of me for raising pet chickens. She would say things like "Eat your chickens" or "Your chickens don't love you"....

That's not a friend

 

[GingerRose]

That "friend" would hate me after about the 3rd insult.
I have thrown dymanite on a bunch of already burning bridges, never regretted it once. You do not need friends who cant see your happiness.
Friend sounds a little like a narcissist to me.
I know 100%, I live with one.
Example:
My husband builds anything and everything I ask for, as I want it to be, perfectly. He purchases any type of supply, med, food, treat, toy... whatever.
We dont have any conversation, what so ever, about my pet chickens, and I have 7 seperated flocks. If its not all about him, all the time, its an issue.
He works daylight to dark and I have plenty time to do whatever I wish all day with my fluffy loves.
I am suffering through the death of my all time favorite fluffy love right now..... Picasso... almost alone. This community provides much love, support and enrichment (for me).
If I had a rooster with a great JOB.....
LoL.. kidding
But really, a true friend would feel your happiness and at the very least, act like they love to see you happy.

 

[FBMcrazy8]

I can see where you are. I haven’t been told this kind of stuff but my mom likes to roll her eyes when I say my chickens will like something or another to eat. Or if I make the comment about needing to do something to help them (with winter coming) she then rolls her eyes. But then wants eggs. So I give them to her and tell her…see this is what all the things you roll your eyes at me for that gave you these. And then my step dad can’t understand why I’m not going to eat them. Times have changed a lot since they (my mom and step dad) had chickens. They were kids and can’t remember a lot of it I’m sure. Like ventilation, my mom was like they were in an old shed, they don’t need it. I asked if she payed attention to see if there was any and of course she can’t.

Mine is more family but maybe talk to your friend. Or just let the relationship go… I think that would have a lot of factors to consider of course. But that is all things you DONT have to deal with.

 

[DickMidnight]

My husband builds anything and everything I ask for, as I want it to be, perfectly. He purchases any type of supply, med, food, treat, toy... whatever.
We dont have any conversation, what so ever, about my pet chickens, and I have 7 seperated flocks. If its not all about him, all the time, its an issue.
He works daylight to dark and I have plenty time to do whatever I wish all day with my fluffy loves.

that’s not a narcissist.

your husband works sun up to sun down and then builds you whatever you want for your chickens, without complaining, but you’re mad that he doesn’t also want to talk about your birds? sounds like your husband might live with a narcissist.

 

[theoldchick]

I've put up with that all my life. I eventually learned those kind of people are not your friends. It was a painful lesson but I'm much happier being around people who like the the same things I do. Talk to your friend and let her know how you feel. If she doesn't respect how you feel about your chickens I would recommend parting ways.

 

[GingerRose]

Yall may want to screenshot this or save this or whatever for a good laugh later...
It may get deleted, and thats fine. My point will be made.
All it is... is a point. Not a debate. Probably funny also...

that’s not a narcissist.

your husband works sun up to sun down and then builds you whatever you want for your chickens, without complaining, but you’re mad that he doesn’t also want to talk about your birds? sounds like your husband might live with a narcissist.

Respectfully...
Not that I owe you an explanation.
You are half correct and half, dont know what you are talking about, AT ALL...
Still, entitled to your opinion and reply on my reply.
Its your RIGHT.
Anyway..
I do have a bit of narcissism, its a LEARNED behavior. I have chosen to learn how to live with this man for all these years, we are in our 50s now with 3 grown kids, grandchildren, 2 successful businesses, no debt and our marriage still intact with NO issues, most of the time.
Yes, I agree with you 100%, I am a narcissist. Angry? Not at all angry. Sad because I lost my little buddy, yes.
Just because ANYONE mentions they have no one to talk to, is not COMPLAINING.
I merely was making a point that 2 people can still have a healthy relationship, friends or spouse, no matter... without talking about (some) their personal interests. We have so much to talk about other than MY birds. THAT HE ALSO PAID FOR and will continue to do, if I want more. It gives BALANCE, where its necessary.
Some people cant balance a check book, let alone a long, successful marriage, 2 businesses, kids graduating college, giving us grandchildren and becoming good parents, not narcissistics... like me and my husband.
I give the word WORK too much credit in our situation. You have no idea what he does as far as his WORK from daylight to dark consists of. LoL.
Thats why he is happy to build for me whenever. LoL.
Its GIVE and TAKE and we both know who we are and where we stand in our marriage, confidently.
He plays pool on a professional level and is also gone 2 or 3 nights a week. We dont talk about that either... and its not an issue.
AND furthermore on this...
I NEVER said he "didnt want to talk about my birds". Im his wife. If he saw me crying and very upset, of course, he would talk to me. I RESPECT the fact he would rather talk about something else. Therefore I should clarify my statement.
I choose NOT to talk to anyone about my loss and grief.
Forgive me... or not... the narcissist in me dont really care if you do or dont. Its not going to make me lose any sleep.
Closing this reply.....
Dont get offended, take it for what it is, only my POINT to your reply.

EDIT.....
He IS a clinically diagnosed narcissist and has 2 TWO factors of Sociopathy. He and I have worked together as husband and wife, because he is AWARE and struggles everyday not to succumb to the disorder. Many years of therapists and counseling, us two and also at times the whole bunch of us, according to the situation that occured.
We have CHOSE to not give up, although, that would have been easier and over long ago.
He loves as much as he can and I accept it. As well as I love as i do.

 

[The Moonshiner]

I'd have to know more about the situation and the type of friendship you had.
I'm grown and not fragile as are my friends. Comments like that wouldn't phase me. My friends and I like to give each other a hard time as often as we can. I take it that's not your case?
Have you thought about asking her why exactly she says those things and explain how easy your feelings are hurt by them?

 

[DickMidnight]

Yall may want to screenshot this or save this or whatever for a good laugh later...
It may get deleted, and thats fine. My point will be made.
All it is... is a point. Not a debate. Probably funny also...



Respectfully...
Not that I owe you an explanation.
You are half correct and half, dont know what you are talking about, AT ALL...
Still, entitled to your opinion and reply on my reply.
Its your RIGHT.
Anyway..
I do have a bit of narcissism, its a LEARNED behavior. I have chosen to learn how to live with this man for all these years, we are in our 50s now with 3 grown kids, grandchildren, 2 successful businesses, no debt and our marriage still intact with NO issues, most of the time.
Yes, I agree with you 100%, I am a narcissist. Angry? Not at all angry. Sad because I lost my little buddy, yes.
Just because ANYONE mentions they have no one to talk to, is not COMPLAINING.
I merely was making a point that 2 people can still have a healthy relationship, friends or spouse, no matter... without talking about (some) their personal interests. We have so much to talk about other than MY birds. THAT HE ALSO PAID FOR and will continue to do, if I want more. It gives BALANCE, where its necessary.
Some people cant balance a check book, let alone a long, successful marriage, 2 businesses, kids graduating college, giving us grandchildren and becoming good parents, not narcissistics... like me and my husband.
I give the word WORK too much credit in our situation. You have no idea what he does as far as his WORK from daylight to dark consists of. LoL.
Thats why he is happy to build for me whenever. LoL.
Its GIVE and TAKE and we both know who we are and where we stand in our marriage, confidently.
He plays pool on a professional level and is also gone 2 or 3 nights a week. We dont talk about that either... and its not an issue.
AND furthermore on this...
I NEVER said he "didnt want to talk about my birds". Im his wife. If he saw me crying and very upset, of course, he would talk to me. I RESPECT the fact he would rather talk about something else. Therefore I should clarify my statement.
I choose NOT to talk to anyone about my loss and grief.
Forgive me... or not... the narcissist in me dont really care if you do or dont. Its not going to make me lose any sleep.
Closing this reply.....
Dont get offended, take it for what it is, only my POINT to your reply.

EDIT.....
He IS a clinically diagnosed narcissist and has 2 TWO factors of Sociopathy. He and I have worked together as husband and wife, because he is AWARE and struggles everyday not succumb to the disorder. Many years of therapists and counseling, us two and also at times the whole bunch of us, according to the situation that occured.
We have CHOSE to not give up, although, that would have been easier and over long ago.
He loves as much as he can and I accept it. As well as I love as i do.

you haven’t made a point.

you’re complaining about your “narcissist” husband on one hand, yet praising him through your entire post

you have a man who indulges and is involved in pretty much every aspect of your hobby. he builds for you, buys birds, etc. i’m not sure what the problem is or how your situation relates to the OP’s

the rest of your post isn’t germane to the conversation in the least bit. what you’re describing just sounds like marriage. it’s give and it’s take. it’s never 50/50.

have yourself a great day.

 

[Shadrach]

Perfect. I've been waiting for a post to tag this to.

 

[GingerRose]

you haven’t made a point.

you’re complaining about your “narcissist” husband on one hand, yet praising him through your entire post

you have a man who indulges and is involved in pretty much every aspect of your hobby. he builds for you, buys birds, etc. i’m not sure what the problem is or how your situation relates to the OP’s

the rest of your post isn’t germane to the conversation in the least bit. what you’re describing just sounds like marriage. it’s give and it’s take. it’s never 50/50.

have yourself a great day.

rite on!
.....and you make a GREAT point.